I mentioned in a post last week that one day I was going to lose touch with modern music. What I didn't realise was that day was going to come a week after that post was written. I have started to play a game on Facebook called SongPop where you battle against your friends to see who knows the most about music of all genres, and I am ashamed to admit that I suck at guessing the top 40 songs.
Having a look at the play lists on my computer, there are some amazing songs on there, by some amazing artists, but very few of them were written in the past 5 years. Occasionally one of my sisters will show me a new song that I absolutely MUST hear, and if I agree with them, I'll go get my own copy of the song for my listening pleasure. But I'm not anywhere near as obsessed with hearing the latest songs as I used to be. Once upon a time I listened to my local radio station every single Sunday so I could hear the new releases and enjoy the other songs that were sharing the popular vote for this week. These days, I am happier sitting in my tiny sheltered cave remembering the artists of yesteryear than bothering to learn any new names.
I know everyone goes through this separation from popular culture, and I probably shouldn't be so surprised that it has finally happened to me, but given how pivotal music has been in my life up to this point, I really thought I'd last longer than this before I got tired of knowing what is cool this week. I mean it's not like I refuse to keep up to date with the latest trends, I know all the current internet memes, I can laugh at the popular jokes, and I even learned that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were getting a divorce at the same time everyone else did. I have just gotten to the point where I've stopped jumping on every single bandwagon as it drives past me, partly due to having no more room to learn new bands and new song lyrics, and partly because I've become jaded about musicians these days. Most of them barely seem old enough to be allowed into pubs without fake ID's, and to listen to them singing about things even I don't understand just seems laughable.
And don't even get me started about the music they play in nightclubs these days. You know you're getting too old to go to these places when the music makes you angry. Once upon a time you had to tear me off the dance floor to get me to stop dancing, and every time they started a new song I'd scream OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! and off I'd run back into the crowd of drunken revellers, jumping around to the music like madmen. These days, the crowds just make me angry, and the floors are sticky and I could be in bed reading my book or playing a sudoku puzzle. Oh my God when did I get so old??
Ah who cares. If getting old means that I no longer get blisters on my feet from the inappropriately tall stilettos I used to wear to the nightclubs, and the bruises on my shins from falling down the stairs drunk, then I'm old and proud of it. I'll start to worry when I get the urge to buy a sports car and start dating boys fresh out of high school. Until then, please enjoy this list of games for old people to play.
1. Sag, You're it.
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Doc, Doc Goose.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and go pee.
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical recliners.