March Fly on the wall

It's that time of the month again (no, not that time, get your head out of the gutter) It's time for Fly on the Wall. Everyone's favourite series.


For any of you not familiar with this, every month a group of bloggers join up and share all of the crazy, weird, and funny things you would hear were you a fly on their wall. Today there are 9 bloggers participating, so be sure to visit them all just to get a full dose of crazy.

Baking In A Tornado

Menopausal Mother                     

Eileen’s Perpetually Busy            

Go Mama O                        

Spatulas on Parade                    

Never Ever Give Up Hope                   

Bookworm in the Kitchen

When I Grow Up 

Mum: I think I have that thing in my foot, that plantar...
Me: Fasciitis?
Mum: Yeah. That's what stops me from being able to stand up. I get this pain in the ball of my foot.
Me: I thought you were going to say a pain in your balls then.
Mum: Well I am a lady you know, I don't like talking about those things.

A few weeks later...

Mum: What's that fasciitis thing I've got in my foot?
Me: Necrotising?
Mum: God I hope not.

I walked into the lounge one day to hear mum mumbling to herself.
Mum: I'm just talking to myself, discussing my issues.
Me: I know. To someone who cares.

Sam: Uranus is smaller than Earth isn't it?
Me: Well I certainly hope it is. (Dissolve into giggles like a child.) One of these days I'm going to grow up.
Sam: I'm not holding my breath. They've got a picture of Uranus here with rings around it.
Me: Yes I'm well aware of the rings around Uranus. (Further childish giggling). This is why I love owning my own business. If I worked for someone else I'd get in trouble for laughing about the rings around Uranus. I'm sure that would count as sexual harassment.

Me: Miss K, get that tea towel off your head and dry the dishes NOW!!!
Miss K: This is not my favourite idea.

I was complaining to mum one day after Miss K had been particularly whiny and defiant all day.
Mum: Now you know why they called my mum a martyr.
Me: I don't know how grandma did this with 7 kids.
Mum: Hey! I did it with 6 kids, and one of them was you.
Me: Yes, but I must have been a punishment for something mum, what did you do?
Mum: Where do I begin?

So someone tried to scam my little brother online, but luckily for him he was smart enough to check the scammer out and didn't end up losing anything. I was telling my little sister the story when this conversation happened.

Nat: It's getting harder and harder to scam people these days.
Me: Yep, everyone is too suspicious, except for old people, they're still confused by all this new fangled technology.
Nat: Yeah. That's why I think the parental lock needs to be something entirely different.
Me: You mean like please confirm you are under 16 years to continue?
Nat: Yeah. They could use questions about Justin Bieber to screen out the old people that would fall for any scams.

Nat: So I had my implanon removed today, but it was put in really deep, so they had to cut further in than they normally do. But once they'd removed it, they just stuck the cut together with sticky tape.
Me: Bit of duct tape, she'll be right.
Nat: They covered the sticky tape with gauze and I've already bled through it.
Me: Why didn't they give you stitches?
Nat: I don't know. Maybe it was too small a cut for stitches.
Me: Well normally if it's too small for stitches they just stick some super glue in that sucker and send you home, but I guess in this case if it moves and it shouldn't, just fix it with duct tape.

It's been nearly 2 months since Miss K started school, and her favourite thing now is reading. Lucky for us as she has daily reading homework, so if she hated it we'd have a nightly fight on our hands.  Miss K and I were reading her school book one night when she came across the word animal.
Miss K: an...im...al. Aminal.
Me: Close enough.

One afternoon I had an appointment scheduled with Miss K's teacher to check her progress. Miss K had wandered off with some friends and couldn't find me when she returned to the classroom despite my yelling and waving my arms over my head at her for five full minutes.
Me: You finally found me. We're going to have to get your eyes tested kiddo, that took way longer than it should have.
Miss K then went to her teacher
Miss K: I'm testing my eyes. I couldn't find mum with them.
Needless to say the teacher was more than a little confused by this statement.

Nat and her partner Dave went on holidays to Queensland a few weeks ago. Shortly after they landed I got a text from her
Nat: Do you want to hear an embarrassing story about me?
Me: Always.
Nat: While we were leaving the plane I starte doing that excited dance with my fingers that Ben always does. Dave goes "what are you doing?" and I replied "when I'm excited my fingers just need to dance."
Me: You're an idiot. Thanks for the story though.
Nat: Dave looked like he wanted to run away from me. It just slipped out of my mouth like word vomit.
Me: If only he knew just how weird it gets.

Miss K's Nonna is coming down this weekend to visit. I got a call from Ady a few days ago to check some details as she's staying at our house while she's here.
Ady: Do you want mum to cook anything for you?
Me: Nothing springs to mind.
Ady: She said she'll cook her chicken soup lasagne if you want it.
Me: Oh my God yes please. Tell her I will love her forever if she makes me her soup lasagne
Ady: Why don't you love me forever? I've cooked for you?
Me: Oh please the only thing you ever cooked for me was fried dim sims and you set fire to my kitchen. Besides it's been years since your mum made me her soup lasagne. I'd marry her for that lasagne if I could.

And the biggest thing that happened this month was my baby girl turned 6! Her birthday was yesterday but because it was a weekday and she had school, we're having her party today so while you are reading this post, I will most probably be running around my kitchen like a headless chicken trying to get everything ready. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some panicking to do.

November Fly on the Wall

Welcome once again to Fly on the Wall. The series where a group of bloggers join together to share all of the crazy that happens to us on a monthly basis.



This month there are six bloggers participating, be sure to visit them all, and share the love around.

Baking In A Tornado

Menopausal Mother                       

Go Mama O                                                                             

Spatulas on Parade                      

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy                             

Southern Belle Charm                    

Me (reading) : What? butt pastel? Kim: Ooh I love butt pasta. Me: Oh wait, it says butt paste. Kim: Well this is awkward, I just admitted I love butt pasta unnecessarily.
Mum: Oh look at this, it's a guest house for an elf, how cute. It's $53? Hell they can find their own bloody accommodation then.

Auto correct strikes again...

My big sister Sam was complaining to me about her newly minted teenage daughter's antics. Me: I dread the day Miss K becomes a teenager because she'll be a wog teenager. It's going to be drama plus loud.
My sister in law Sam came over for a coffee earlier this week. Sam: Lexi's end of year concert is coming up next month, if you wanted to come. Me: Absolutely, we'll be there. (To Miss K) Lexi's school concert is in a few weeks, do you want to go watch? Miss K: Yes please! I want to be a tree! (proceeds to do her best tree impression) Me: Well luckily you don't need to wait until the concert to be a tree, you can be one whenever you like!
Nat: Did I tell you I talked in my sleep the other night? Me: No, what happened? Nat: So I sat up and said to Dave "Stop lying to Gotham City" so he asked "Why am I lying to the people of Gotham City?" and I said "Cos you're Batman." I remembered nothing of it the next morning when he asked me.

This seriously was easier than going directly to the birthday boy. Despite the fact it took over 2 hours to get my message to him.

Ok so this story actually happened back in August, but I only just heard about my dad's antics this month. When Tristan's dad died, my dad and Kimberley went down to Melbourne for the funeral, and Natalie and Kimberley got to experience my dad's most graceful moment to date. Nat: When we got to the funeral the parking was full, and there were heaps of cop cars there for a different funeral at the home, so we had to park a while away from the funeral home. At the end of funeral we were walking back to the car, and we were on the footpath, and dad passed a comment asking why we were walking on the footpath when we could cut across the garden, and then he does this majestic prance across the garden. I've never seen him so graceful.
Nat and I were discussing her high school friends. Nat: Ash stopped liking me when we started drinking together. She didn't like drunk Natalie. Me: No one likes drunk Natalie, you're loud and obnoxious. Nat: Dave likes drunk Natalie, he thinks she's fun. Me: Dave thinks the sun shines out your butt, of course he likes drunk Natalie.
Any of my long time readers know that my baby sister Kimberley has had a slew of health issues over the past year. Well this month she ended up in hospital because her liver failed thanks to an accidental paracetamol overdose. thanks to the staff at our local hospital, by the time she came home she had a staph infection and a blood clot in her arm, and she was stuck with a PICC line in her arm so she can have constant antibiotic infusions for the foreseeable future. While it hasn't all been fun and games there were a few moments we could all find to laugh about.
Nat and I were texting  Me: So is there any news about Kim yet? Nat: She has a staff infection At this point I had to call her. Me: Ok, you do realise you just told me your sister has an infection of employees don't you? Staph is not spelt with a double f. Nat: Well I'm just spelling it how Kimberley spelt it. Me: Of course, why didn't I realise that?
Nat and her new partner Dave were going to visit Kim in hospital after she'd found out about the staph infection, and when he told his mum, her only advice was not to touch the walls. We all had a giggle about it at the time as Kim's infection was in her blood, so just being in a room with her was not dangerous. Nat must have told Kim about it, because she had to have a dig at him when she finally got out of hospital.
Kim: Oh mum it was the weirdest thing, Nat and Dave showed up while I was in hospital, and all of a sudden he just starts licking the walls. It was so strange.

Couldn't start setting unrealistic expectations once I'd admitted I'm this lazy.

We were trying to explain the concept of jealousy to Miss K and we each gave her examples of things we could be jealous of.
Eliza: I'm jealous of you Miss K because you don't have to wear a bra. Me: I'm jealous of you because you play the piano so well. Kim: I'm jealous of you because you get to go to kindergarten and play all day and I have to stay home. Miss K: Mum, I'm jealous of you because everyone says Miss K, you're a d**khead. Me: Ok first of all no one says that... I couldn't continue to correct her on her sentence because all of us were on the floor in stitches. That girl is going to be the death of me. 
Well that's all from this crazy corner of the world, don't forget to visit the rest of the bloggers participating today, and also please let me know in the comments down below that my daughter isn't the only five year old with a mouth that would make a sailor blush. I'm beginning to think she is actually listening to everything I'm saying...

January Fly on the Wall

Welcome yet again to another Fly on the Wall. I missed out on December's offering, mainly because I was going crazy enough getting Miss K ready for her kindergarten orientation and trying to do Christmas on a shoestring, I figured the fly girls would have to just miss me for one month. But if it makes you feel better I missed you guys too. And my family did as well. So without further ado, lets get into it.



It's the same deal as always guys, each month a group of bloggers get together and share the madness that you would witness if you happened to be a fly on their wall. Below is a list of all the people participating, I'm sure you'll visit them all like you do every month and share the love so I don't even need to tell you guys to do it any more.

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                         Baking In A Tornado

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                            Juicebox Confession

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                          Menopausal Mother

http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com                            Someone Else’s Genius

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                  Spatulas on Parade

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                      Searching for Sanity

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                         Never Ever Give Up Hope

http://www.gomamao.com                                    Go Mama O

http://dinoheromommy.com/                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com          Not That Sarah Michelle

http://www.southernbellecharm.com                   Southern Belle Charm

http://mybrainonkids.net                                     My Brain on Kids

So the first big thing that happened this month was my mum's birthday. She's 21 now (for about the thirtieth time I think) but with money being so tight, I couldn't afford to buy her something to commemorate the milestone. Luckily for me she made it very clear she didn't want gifts this year, which gave me an easy out, but I still thought it would be a good idea for Miss K to make her something. We decided on a paper machè bowl (mainly because the two things we have the most of in this house is paper and spare bowls). Miss K and I spent a good half hour pasting little squares of coloured paper onto a cling film covered bowl before she lost interest and I lost the will to live, so it ended up being a very thin bowl. When mum opened it she made all the appropriate noises and asked Miss K if she enjoyed making the bowl, to which Miss K replied "no, it was boring." 

I was bored, I had a front facing camera and Snapchat. You do the maths.

Miss K didn't seem to get the memo that Christmas ended on December 25, as she kept singing the songs for a good week or so after. Her favourite one was "Santa Claus is going on the town" 

Mum and Miss K were playing "I Spy" one afternoon to kill time.

Miss K: I spy with my little eye, something that has a beard.

Mum: Is it me?

Miss K: Yes!

My little sister finally has a boyfriend

Things I never thought I'd say to my child, the bumper edition

These are all things I have had to say this month, none of which I ever thought would pass my lips as a parent. Live and learn...

Miss K: Be careful.

Me: I know, I know. You think I've never cut a dinosaurs nails before?

Could you get the knitting needle out of your butt crack please?

Don't put your underpants on your head, put them on your legs for God's sake!

Number one, you did wee on my bed. Number two, you got chocolate all over my sheets, which annoys me more than the wee does.

How my family copes with death...

Miss K and I were visiting my big sister Sam when Miss K came into the kitchen where we were chatting.

Miss K: Can I have a drink?

Me: Yes, you can have water.

Miss K then walks over to my sister

Miss K: Mum is being silly, can I have a cordial please?

We were both laughing too hard to say anything.

I had to go to a funeral two days after Boxing Day, as my uncle's brother died right before Christmas. After everything was done and people were getting ready to head to the pub for the wake I went to my aunt and uncle to say goodbye. They thanked me for coming, at which point I thanked them for inviting me... I am the reason we need etiquette books people! Please tell me I'm not the only one stupid enough to do this at a funeral. 

Miss K has slowly been learning her alphabet, and that each letter has its own sound. She's now trying to nut out different words that start with the same letters. It's not always spot on.

Miss K: O, o, donut!

Me: Not quite, but nice try.

Mum and I were watching a cooking show together one night.

Me: Ugh I hate when cooks use nut butter, it just sounds like a euphemism.

Mum: Oh god, you're right.

While watching my nephew play Minecraft

Me: Why is he juggling arrows while jumping on a trampoline?

My favourite memory of the month would have to be the weekend Miss K and I went shopping with her dad. She recently learned that saying certain four letter words out of the blue will always make me laugh, so she decided that the perfect time to show this was in the middle of a packed shopping mall car park. Needless to say her father wasn't impressed with either of us, her because she kept shouting f-bombs, and me because I couldn't yell at her from my position on the ground laughing. We've since had a conversation about appropriate language to use in car parks. 

Well that's it for me, it's been a fun month, and I'm sure I'll have tons more crazy stuff to share with you guys next month. Be sure to visit everyone else and see that I'm not the only mad one here, we're all a little mad sometimes. 

Accentuate the positive or a list of love

Hello again my awesome readers, I have decided today to take a break from the complaining, the constant nit-picking and the general bad mood that this blog can pick up on rare occasions to bring you guys a little bit of schmaltz.

No this isn't it...

So today is actually the 2 year anniversary of the day both my mother and daughter tried to die on me. So first I have to wish my mum a happy birthday, as this is her second anniversary as a zombie.

Source

Braaaaiiiiins!!!!

What's that you say? None of this is schmaltzy in the least?? Alright, I'll get to the point. While the 7th of April is a hard day for my whole family to get through, it serves as a huge reminder of exactly what we had to go through 2 years ago just to keep my little girl alive. And it also reminds me to stop sweating the petty stuff and remember exactly how much I love my daughter, even when she is making me pull my hair out in frustration. So today I am giving you guys a list of just some of the reasons why I love my little girl.

1. She loves to make people laugh. It gets her out of trouble most of the time if she can do something silly right when mum or I start lecturing her or telling her off. It is very hard to yell at Miss K when she is making you laugh.
2. She loves to dance. She cannot hear music without busting out some of her own special moves, including the sprinkler, thanks to my baby sister who thought it was a good idea to teach her how to disco dance.
3. She takes pleasure in the smallest of things, like a light bulb. Or an empty nappy box. I'm serious about that last one too, our current empty nappy box is on day three of play and doesn't look to be losing its appeal any time soon.
4. She makes everyone feel special, from her whole family to the strange lady whose hand she randomly shook in the middle of the chemist once, everyone who meets her immediately falls in love with her, just because she makes you feel so important for the short amount of time which you can hold her attention for.
5. She looks so peaceful when she's asleep. It is so easy to forget that several hours ago I was ready to throw myself out the closest window because she wouldn't eat her boiled carrots, because when she's tucked up in bed, she looks so innocent.
6. She is the most ticklish person I have ever met. There is barely a spot on her body that won't cause her to collapse into giggles if poked just right. This makes for a lot of fun when we play together.
7. She hates to see me cry. This doesn't happen often, but over Easter when we were in Melbourne, I was so tired and frustrated and it was 5am in the morning so I couldn't help but break down in front of her. She was so worried she came right up to me and grabbed my hand and used it to wipe away my tears. (No use getting her own hands wet right?)
8. She loves to be one of the big people. On the rare occasions that she wakes up in the middle of the night, nothing makes her happier than to be allowed to sit between mum and I on the couch for a conversation.
9. She tells the best stories. Of course I usually can't understand more than a few words of her garbled speech, but she becomes so animated when she's telling you something, you can't help but get swept up in the conversation, even if it makes no sense.
10. She loves to play pretend. Quite often if she feels that I have been spending too much time on the computer, she will crawl over to me barking like a dog, and I have to stop and give her a pat. She also loves it when we run around the lounge room pretending to be different jungle animals.
11. She is very musical. Her current list of instruments includes a guitar, a ukulele  two recorders, two sets of maracas, an accordion, a triangle, two tambourines, a drum kit and a keyboard. I'm thinking of hiring her out for parties as a one man band.
12. She loves making me happy. Sometimes it is as simple as putting her chair away after a meal without being told, but you can tell she feels so proud when she has done something that makes me happy.
13. There are times, usually if she gets hurt, or sick, that she doesn't want to know anyone else but me. To know that you are the most important person in someone's life always makes you feel special.
14. Her smile has the ability to cheer up even the worst of moods, making her a magnet for every family member who is having a bad day. And she always manages to cure their blues.
15. Without Miss K, I wouldn't have the title mum. Or the wrinkles that come with this job. Or the millions of memories that we have created together. Or the free hugs that come with being a parent. Or the pride. 

So there you have it. A small list of why I love my baby. I really could go on like this forever, but then I'd give you all diabetes, so I'll stop there for now. I'm off to get some sleep, right after I go look at Miss K in her cot one more time for the night. 

I'll be back again soon, but until then stay awesome, and I know a lot of you readers are parents too, so feel free to join in below and tell me some of the reasons why you love your kids. Lets see if you can add some more sweetness.

One of those moments when only mum would do.

Easter and page views

Howdy Y'all I'm back again. I hope everyone had a great Easter, I'll get to Miss K's Easter shortly, but first I had to share some randomness with you guys. For anyone of you who have a blog, you'll probably spend a bit of time checking out your stats occasionally to find out exactly how many people you are reaching, and which posts are the most popular. I check mine every day (even though the experts say you really should only check them once a month) just to see where my traffic is coming from. Early on it seemed that most of my audience was comprised of Russian spammers who were only hitting my website in an attempt to get return clicks. For a little while they disappeared, but it seems they have come back today. I don't really mind, as it drives up my traffic, but it's always a bit disappointing to think that my audience didn't even read my awesome writing before moving on to the next target.

Now the thing that surprises me the most about my page views is my most popular post to date appears to be this one giving a list of all of the cutest actors in children's television. It seems that there is at least one other person out there who has a major crush on Gavin Stenhouse, because that is the name that appears the most in the Google search words list. On a slightly different note, Iconicles is back on Aussie television right now, so I get to enjoy watching him on a regular basis again. But it isn't as exciting anymore since I started following him on Twitter, as now I get up to the minute updates on his life any time I log into Twitter, so that's even better.

Now, on to Easter, as that is the real reason why I came on tonight. I made an agreement with Miss K's dad before her birthday that we would spend the whole weekend in Melbourne with his family, in exchange for me getting her to myself on her birthday. This was an ideal arrangement for me as Easter has never been my favorite pseudo holiday anyway, so I didn't mind sharing Miss K for the weekend, and I got to enjoy her birthday alone which was also awesome. So on Saturday Miss K and I hopped onto a train with about a hundred other people (not my first choice of transportation, but both Miss K's dad and nonna's cars crapped themselves last week, so we had no other way of getting to Melbourne.)

My relationship with Miss K's nonna has always been a bit tempestuous. When I was dating Miss K's dad, she and I butted heads on several occasions as she seemed to think I was always too hard on him, whereas I thought he was a lazy selfish no-hoper who was wasting his life away on porn websites. We have continued to butt heads on and off over the past three years, but have called a truce of sorts recently so that she can have a proper relationship with her granddaughter. Of course this means regular trips to Melbourne for Miss K and me, and weekends spent in a tiny house with the man I once refused to marry, and his mother. I try to take a step back when we're there so that Miss K and nonna can spend some quality time together, but this is hard for me, as I seem to be the only person there who thinks that children need boundaries, so I spend a lot of time either making Miss K cry by not letting her break every rule I have set out for her, or watching her nonna undermine all my hard work by letting her get away with everything.

But apart from biting my tongue all weekend, I got to watch Miss K have a lovely time, and here are just some of the photos of our weekend.

This is a real ashtray, not just an empty cigarette package being used as a makeshift ashtray. I had to take a photo, just because I thought it was so cute. 

This is three hours into our first afternoon. All that sitting around on public transport really takes it out of a baby.

This is the most delicious cider I have ever had. I only took this photo so I can remember the name the next time I find myself in the bottle shop, but I don't mind if any of you get there first and buy me a case...

A very blurry photo of Miss K and her dad bowling

Miss K's new Luigi doll that her dad won for her in a claw machine. One thing I can say about Miss K's dad is that he is an expert at winning arcade games.

A traditional Italian Easter cake that nonna made for Miss K. It did have a chocolate egg on the top at one stage, but Miss K got to it before I could take a photo

And sadly that is all the photos I took of the weekend. There was so much more going on, including lots of chocolate being consumed, me sumo wrestling with a 12 year old (and kicking his butt I might add) and a second birthday party for Miss K. Nonna's great nephews stayed with us on Saturday night and were completely charmed by Miss K, to the point that the thirteen year old actually volunteered to watch High 5 with Miss K while I took a break. There was also lots and lots of food, which is standard whenever the Italians get together to celebrate, and I'm certain I gained weight this weekend. 

So that was our Easter. I can't say I enjoyed myself completely, as I did have a very unsettled two year old to deal with, as is the case any time our routine is disrupted, but we're back home now and getting back into normal life nicely. 

I'd love to hear if any of you have any nightmare in-laws that you have to deal with on special occasions, especially if you can give me any coping strategies to help me get through the next visit, which will probably be Nonna's birthday in July.

I'll be back again tomorrow with a new spotlight on mental health, so be sure to come back to hear Becc's story, but until then, as always stay awesome.

Miss K turns 2

So I will apologise now for being so quiet the past few days, for anyone who has been hiding under a rock for the past week, Miss K turned 2 yesterday, so between madly rushing around getting everything organised, and then hosting her afternoon tea yesterday, I haven't had much time for extra curricular activities lately. Even last night after everything was over and done with, I was so tired I was in bed by 7:30 and I didn't surface again until my alarm clock went off this morning.

So for anyone who doesn't get excited for photos of a toddler's birthday party, now might be a good time to step away from the computer, because between me and my sisters, I got over 100 pictures of yesterday's fun and games, and now I get to share the highlights with you guys.

The fun started (as most fun does) at 1am on Sunday morning. That is when Miss K woke up for the first time on her birthday. Now I had a feeling this would happen, because mum and I had decided to put up her biggest presents before the morning, to save her having to open boxes and then wait an hour for all the toys to be assembled. It was a good thing we did this, because her absolute biggest present, a mini trampoline thanks to grandma took forever to put together, and even then needed to be pulled apart by my brother in law and reassembled when they showed up later in the morning. So Miss K got an extra 2 hours on her birthday to play with her presents.

The new trampoline thanks to Grandma

The new bike thanks to Aunty Kim

The new drums thanks to mum because I know how much she likes loud noise.

Then when we all got up for the second time yesterday morning, she got to open the rest of her presents, and spent the rest of the morning running from toy to toy, trying to play with everything.

Tiny Tim has nothing on Miss K's mad ukulele skills

An Elmo book because why not?

A computerised Magna Doodle type thingy. The voice is very, very annoying.

After lunch, because I am an eternal optimist at heart, I tried to get Miss K to go down for a nap, and while she didn't argue with me, she certainly didn't sleep, and we ended up getting her out of bed while we were still madly trying to get everything ready for the afternoon tea. 

Don't ask me how I managed it, but we got everything ready for 2:00, including the donut cake (as previously mentioned here) and we were ready to start partying when everyone started arriving.

This is the last photo of Miss K without a face full of chocolate thanks to my decision to serve every chocolate biscuit under the sun for afternoon tea

Miss K's new keyboard thanks to Aunty Sam and family

Let the chocolate moustaches begin. Miss K and her cousin.

My attempt at a donut cake. I love how this photo looks like it could have been pulled straight out of a magazine. That is how awesome a photographer my big sister is, she can even make my terrible attempts at baking look good.

Miss K blowing out her candles. I spent three months training her to wait until after the singing was finished to blow out the candles. She almost made it to the end of the song before she started blowing, luckily we were too far away from the candles.

There is no clean way to eat donuts, especially when they are smothered with chocolate frosting. 

Miss K offering my big sister (behind the camera) half a donut. At least she shares.

By 5:00 everyone had gone home, so Miss K and I jumped into the shower to hose off all the chocolate, then we both went to bed, absolutely wiped out. 

Well that is another birthday over and done with. I cannot believe that my baby is two now. I can still remember the day she was born (but everything else after that just seems to be a blur.) It's still impossible for me to comprehend that the following photo is 2 years old now.

Pictured: something I thought only happened yesterday. Not pictured: where the hell the last two years went.

Well that's all from me for now, I'll be back again once I've recovered from yesterday, I'm thinking I need three days of sleep right now just to get rid of the extra baggage that has appeared under my eyes this weekend. 

No pets? Yeah right

I would like to announce that we have added a new member to our jungle home. Introducing Guinea Pigley...

Ta Daaa!!!

I saw one of my cousins posting on Facebook this morning that she had two male guinea pigs to give away, and although I have sworn black and blue since Miss K was born we wouldn't have any pets I couldn't resist this little cutie. Given that the price was also within my budget, we contacted her straight away and organised for him to be dropped off this afternoon as an early birthday present for Miss K. That is when I panicked. I don't know the first thing about caring for Guinea Pigs, I had nothing for it to live in, and I didn't even really know what they eat. Luckily for me my dad knows lots of things that I don't so I called him and begged for his help. He was at our house within an hour with a new home for Guinea Pigley, as well as some straw and pellets for him to eat. 

At the moment the hutch is sitting in our lounge room, but I can't see that lasting for long. For one thing Guinea Pigs use their homes as toilets, and I don't like the smell of digested food where I eat my dinner. For another thing I've already tripped over the hutch once this afternoon, when I was walking out of the room licking my lunch plate clean, so for the sake of my own neck he will have to be transported outside very soon.

But Miss K is super excited for her new toy. She went absolutely nuts when my cousin walked in carrying the guinea pig, and it took her the better part of an hour to calm down again. After her nap, she went straight over to the hutch and tried to get Guinea Pigley to talk to her, but in true guinea pig style, he is hiding in his bed.

Pictured: Miss K playing with her new pet. Not Pictured: the terrified pet

I'm sure this decision of mine will come back and bite me in the butt one day, especially given that at almost 2 years old, Miss K really is too young to understand the responsibility that comes with having a pet, so for the next few years at least, I have just added a smaller, hairier and less co-operative child to my ever growing list of responsibilities. But it was worth it just to see the look on her face when she met Guinea Pigley.

And if you're wondering about his name, it's a long standing joke with our family. When my niece was four she was given a dog, and she chose to name her Dogley. It is a name that caused much amusement when my sister when to register her for the first time, and a choice that no one in the family has let her live down, even five years later. So I figured it was only fitting to give this pet an equally ridiculous name. Especially given that Miss K's only suggestion for a name was garbletika, and I'm not even sure if that's how you spell it, I'm happy sticking with Guinea Pigley.

The donut cake

Well I have a rare few minutes of peace and quiet right now, as mum and my big sister have taken Miss K out birthday shopping. I really should be doing something like that soon as Miss K's birthday is in 4 days. (4 days? time to panic!)

So what does a mum do when she has a house to herself for an hour? Should I do some laundry? Well I just dumped some dry clothes on top of the wet clothes I forgot to hang out yesterday and restarted the washing machine, does that count? I could do some dishes, I put them in the sink to soak half an hour ago though, so they may need a few more minutes soaking first. I could do the vacuuming, except that Nat borrowed our vacuum cleaner on the weekend and hasn't returned it yet.

Oh well I tried. Guess I'll just stay on the computer and look up donut cakes. What is a donut cake I hear you ask because I'm right behind you!!........... Just kidding.Well a donut cake is a cake made out of donuts. I read about the idea years ago in one of my favourite books - Bet Me by Jenny Cruisie, and I've wanted to try it out ever since. Given that Miss K is one of the biggest donut lovers I have ever met, it seems fitting (for me anyway) to ignore their massive calorie content for one day and make an entire cake out of donuts just for her. (Because I am just that awesome a mum.)

Now the idea behind the donut cake is to make a ring of cinnamon donuts, drizzle them with icing mixture, then stack another smaller ring on top. You continue this till you have a tower of sticky sweet donuts waiting to be consumed.

Image courtesy of http://emmalinebride.com

Doesn't that just look good enough to eat??

Of course you could make it look neater by putting it on a tiered cake plate, if you have one.

Image courtesy of http://www.theknot.com

Or you could throw sanity to the wind and make a massive 18ft wide and 12ft tall cake decorated with donuts.

Image courtesy of http://junkfoodnews.net

Now I personally would love to have this cake sitting in my lounge room on Sunday, but given that this cake took 2 weeks to make and I only have four days, I think I'd be a bit pressed for time. 

So I'll just stick with my tiny tower of donuts for now. The next big question is what do I put on top of the cake. Looks like I need to spend another hour researching that now. Oh well the housework will still be there tomorrow.

Belated birthday revenge...

Whoops a daisy, I almost forgot the special birthday post for my little sister. I knew last night that there was something I was meant to be doing on here, but do you think I could remember what it was? Well it's probably for the best that I left it for today because I am fresh as a daisy and ready to pay back my little sister for hacking my Facebook.

But it isn't just about revenge, it's also about wishing her a happy birthday. And because she didn't have very many humiliating photos on her photo board at her 21st birthday party last year, I figured now was the time to rectify that oversight and flood my blog with as many cringe-worthy pictures as I could find.

So I guess a little bit of a back story is needed so that you guys can understand the content of the following photos. Well once upon a time many years ago (ok four years ago) Nat and I were drinking buddies. Given that by the time Natty was old enough to drink I'd been out of the pub scene for about 3 years we tended to meet up at my place to hold our shenanigans, as I preferred being able to enjoy my alcohol without the hoards of sweaty, sloppy teenagers that you tend to find in pubs and nightclubs. Now the one drawback of drinking at home is you don't have to behave yourself quite as much as you would in public, so we would get a bit messy ourselves. And for some reason we always decided to capture the messiness for future generations to admire. (I don't understand the logic there either.) But terrible photography aside, I always had fun with my drinking buddy, and we would spend lots of time laughing (and crying once the alcohol started wearing off.) It was a sad day for both of us when I realized that our days of drunken shenanigans were over now that I was going to be a mum and had to start acting like a responsible person. So in a way I'm glad that these photos exist because they are all that's left of my wild and misspent youth. Although I'm not quite sure that Nat will feel the same way about them as I do.

Careful, I think she's about to burst!

Now where did I put my cigarette then?

I said love, I said pet, I said love...

Now that is one happy camper...

Like I said, messy.

So happy birthday Fat Kat. Even though this is a day late the sentiment is still the same, I have horrible photos of you and I'm not afraid to use them. 

*Editors note, I know I promised the next blog post would be about a Christmas planning book, and the post is still coming, however the batteries in my camera died so I have to wait till they recharge to take some photos of the finished product. 

I am a winner!!!

So this is just a quick hello and howdy doo for all of you my lovely readers, I know that it has again been too long between posts, and I know I promised to you all in my last post here that I would hopefully be able to explain what payroll consolidation means, but when I got to reading my last chapter, I realised it was just revision of everything I was meant to have learned through the rest of the book, and either the chapter title was the most misleading title ever, or I was missing the point somehow. I was also horrified to discover I must have been asleep through most of my last fortnight of studying because as I sat there staring at the words on the pages, I still had no idea what I was meant to be doing. Luckily I tend to be better able to concentrate on things when I'm thrown in the deep end, so I learned more in that last chapter than I had while supposedly reading the rest of the book.

Ben and Tristan popped in for a quick visit this afternoon on their way to an information session for a musical that a local theatre group is doing next year, so they got to visit with Miss K, and mum and I got to give Ben some birthday money because as the title birthday money would suggest, it was Ben's birthday last week. I actually meant to write a special blog just for Ben on his birthday, but yet again it got to blogging time and I was just too tired to come up with anything so instead I'll just wish him a happy belated birthday today. (I did actually speak to him on his birthday so don't think I really did leave it a week to wish him happy birthday). Now the next birthday on my calendar is my little sister's this Friday and I promise to have a blog post dedicated to her on the day, mainly because several weeks ago she changed my birth date on Facebook and I had to explain to about twenty well meaning friends that their birthday greetings were 5 months too early and that they needed to try again in May, and now it is time for my revenge. Be afraid Natty, be very afraid.

Now on to the title of my blog today. I'm sure you're all thinking I'm just trying to be positive and think good things about myself, but today I truly am a winner. Several days ago I liked a page on Facebook called Little Birdies, which is a small business owned by an old friend of mine from my high school years. She has a daughter about one month older than Miss K and she makes gorgeous head bands and hair clips for little girls. Now I was invited by my friend to like the page, so I didn't realise it at the time, but she was holding a competition for all of her new page likers to win some of her head bands and hair clips. So imagine my surprise this evening when I got a message from her saying that my name had been picked as the winner and I had my choice of two of her lovely hair pieces. So I have chosen my prizes and they are being mailed off tomorrow from WA. Now all I have to do is wait for the mail to come and I can share pictures of them with you guys. With Miss K as the model of course.

It is ridiculous how giddy with excitement I got when I read her message, as the last time I won something it was blank video cassettes so this is so much better. And the timing is perfect as well as Miss K has suddenly become quite interested in her appearance and looking pretty. She loves wearing jewelry and hair accessories, and we can't go out until she's put perfume on. She has even started trying to put make up on, and loves watching my baby sister put her face on before going out to parties. So this prize is a welcome gift for Miss K.

Well that's me done for another day, I'm off to bed to no doubt dream about payroll tax and salary sacrificing. So until next time my wonderful readers stay awesome.