Saturday, 23 January 2016

January Fly on the Wall

Welcome yet again to another Fly on the Wall. I missed out on December's offering, mainly because I was going crazy enough getting Miss K ready for her kindergarten orientation and trying to do Christmas on a shoestring, I figured the fly girls would have to just miss me for one month. But if it makes you feel better I missed you guys too. And my family did as well. So without further ado, lets get into it.

Fly on the Wall

It's the same deal as always guys, each month a group of bloggers get together and share the madness that you would witness if you happened to be a fly on their wall. Below is a list of all the people participating, I'm sure you'll visit them all like you do every month and share the love so I don't even need to tell you guys to do it any more.                         Baking In A Tornado                            Juicebox Confession                          Menopausal Mother                            Someone Else’s Genius                  Spatulas on Parade                      Searching for Sanity                         Never Ever Give Up Hope                                    Go Mama O                     Dinosaur Superhero Mommy          Not That Sarah Michelle                   Southern Belle Charm                                     My Brain on Kids

So the first big thing that happened this month was my mum's birthday. She's 21 now (for about the thirtieth time I think) but with money being so tight, I couldn't afford to buy her something to commemorate the milestone. Luckily for me she made it very clear she didn't want gifts this year, which gave me an easy out, but I still thought it would be a good idea for Miss K to make her something. We decided on a paper machè bowl (mainly because the two things we have the most of in this house is paper and spare bowls). Miss K and I spent a good half hour pasting little squares of coloured paper onto a cling film covered bowl before she lost interest and I lost the will to live, so it ended up being a very thin bowl. When mum opened it she made all the appropriate noises and asked Miss K if she enjoyed making the bowl, to which Miss K replied "no, it was boring." 

I was bored, I had a front facing camera and Snapchat. You do the maths.

Miss K didn't seem to get the memo that Christmas ended on December 25, as she kept singing the songs for a good week or so after. Her favourite one was "Santa Claus is going on the town" 

Mum and Miss K were playing "I Spy" one afternoon to kill time.
Miss K: I spy with my little eye, something that has a beard.
Mum: Is it me?
Miss K: Yes!

My little sister finally has a boyfriend

Things I never thought I'd say to my child, the bumper edition

These are all things I have had to say this month, none of which I ever thought would pass my lips as a parent. Live and learn...

Miss K: Be careful.
Me: I know, I know. You think I've never cut a dinosaurs nails before?

Could you get the knitting needle out of your butt crack please?

Don't put your underpants on your head, put them on your legs for God's sake!

Number one, you did wee on my bed. Number two, you got chocolate all over my sheets, which annoys me more than the wee does.

How my family copes with death...

Miss K and I were visiting my big sister Sam when Miss K came into the kitchen where we were chatting.

Miss K: Can I have a drink?
Me: Yes, you can have water.
Miss K then walks over to my sister
Miss K: Mum is being silly, can I have a cordial please?

We were both laughing too hard to say anything.

I had to go to a funeral two days after Boxing Day, as my uncle's brother died right before Christmas. After everything was done and people were getting ready to head to the pub for the wake I went to my aunt and uncle to say goodbye. They thanked me for coming, at which point I thanked them for inviting me... I am the reason we need etiquette books people! Please tell me I'm not the only one stupid enough to do this at a funeral. 

Miss K has slowly been learning her alphabet, and that each letter has its own sound. She's now trying to nut out different words that start with the same letters. It's not always spot on.

Miss K: O, o, donut!
Me: Not quite, but nice try.

Mum and I were watching a cooking show together one night.
Me: Ugh I hate when cooks use nut butter, it just sounds like a euphemism.
Mum: Oh god, you're right.

While watching my nephew play Minecraft
Me: Why is he juggling arrows while jumping on a trampoline?

My favourite memory of the month would have to be the weekend Miss K and I went shopping with her dad. She recently learned that saying certain four letter words out of the blue will always make me laugh, so she decided that the perfect time to show this was in the middle of a packed shopping mall car park. Needless to say her father wasn't impressed with either of us, her because she kept shouting f-bombs, and me because I couldn't yell at her from my position on the ground laughing. We've since had a conversation about appropriate language to use in car parks. 

Well that's it for me, it's been a fun month, and I'm sure I'll have tons more crazy stuff to share with you guys next month. Be sure to visit everyone else and see that I'm not the only mad one here, we're all a little mad sometimes. 

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