Me: If you spell your son's name like that I will call him cod-eye and nothing else.
Dad: No, I don't know what you're talking about. Weren't you leaving?
Me: Oh I said something that bugged her so she threw her shoe at me. So I waited until she came back and lobbed it at her as hard as I could. She ended the fight by throwing a banana at me. I wasn't going to waste a good banana on her.