Use your words

Hello and welcome back to my corner of the world. It's pretty hot here right now, like face meltingly hot. The barometer hit 44 degrees this afternoon (111 farenheit for my imperial friends out there) and today is day five of blisteringly hot weather, so we're all feeling pretty miserable down here. Add to that the bushfire in a town just 11 km away from where I live (6 miles) and I could use a distraction right now. Luckily for me the lovely Karen from Baking in a Tornado has come up with a new blogging game, so sit back and relax while I introduce you to Use Your Words.

So for this post, all the participating bloggers were asked to provide 4 - 6 phrases or words that must be used in a post. These are then given to another unsuspecting blogger and it's up to them to turn their list of words into some semblance of sense. Today we have been asked to post our stories, all at the same time. This is the first time all of us get to see who got our submissions, and what direction they decided to take with the words we picked for them. The possibilities for fun are endless.  Before I go any further I'll introduce the rest of the group of players. Please be sure to visit them all and see what everyone else has done with their submissions.

http://BakingInATornado.com                   Baking In A Tornado

http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com    Juicebox Confession

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://batteredhope.blogspot.com           Battered Hope

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com          Spatulas on Parade

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com               Evil Joy Speaks

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/          Stacy Sews and Schools

http://www.justalittlenutty.com                         Just A Little Nutty

http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com     The Bergham’s Life Chronicles

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                   Follow me home . . .

http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                         Dates 2 Diapers

So the phrases I have been given to use are...He saw the white coat ~ Hello ~ OMG WHAT WAS THAT NOISE? ~DON'T EAT THAT ...and they were submitted by Dates 2 Diapers

I had always thought my life was pretty ordinary. I had my daughter, my job and my hobbies to keep me busy, and that was all I needed. I watched other people have dramatic and exciting lives, but I was happy to stay in the audience and watch all the fun from the sidelines. But one night that all changed with a visit from a stranger. 

I have tried to explain this night over and over again to many people, but no one ever seems to believe me. It has gotten to the point where I'm just that crazy lady that mothers warn their children to stay away from. But it wasn't always like this, once upon a time I was ordinary. 

This night was ordinary at first too. I'd finally gotten Miss K to bed after three requests for extra drinks, one request to use the potty, and five requests for another story and I was getting ready to settle in for a night of watching mindless television before crawling into bed when there was an almighty thud outside my living room window. I jumped up and screamed OMG WHAT WAS THAT NOISE? My heart was in my throat from the fright, but I decided I needed to investigate in case someone had gotten hurt. 

I went outside into the darkness and waited for my eyes to adjust. I scanned the front yard and the nature strip where my car was parked, but at first I couldn't see any evidence of what the heck had made the noise. "Hello?" I called out in the night, hoping somebody would answer me so I didn't have to go any further away from my door. At first there was silence, but then I heard a quiet moan from around the street lamp outside my fence. "Darn it" I thought to myself as I headed towards where the moan came from. At first I couldn't see anyone, but once I got closer I noticed a lump on the ground at the foot of the pole. I rushed over, noticing how small the lump was. Almost too small to be an adult. "What is a kid doing out this time of night?" I thought as I left the yard. By the time I got to the lump it was starting to stand up, and the first thing I noticed was that this was no child. It wasn't even human. 

This is the point where I start getting weird looks from the people I tell the story to. If I hadn't lived it myself I wouldn't believe it either, but standing in front of me that night next to the lamp post was a giant rabbit. And I'm not just talking an over sized, well fed rabbit, I'm talking a four foot tall rabbit. A very woozy four foot tall rabbit. I stopped dead in my tracks as I tried to process what I was seeing, but as I did the rabbit swayed a little bit and started to fall over again. I raced over and grabbed him before he landed on the ground. The jolt seemed to wake him up and he looked up at me, clearly having difficulty focusing. 

"What on earth...?" I managed to choke out, not trusting my ability to speak any further in case I screamed.

"Ooooohhh" said the rabbit, "Where did that lamp post come from?"

I nearly dropped him back on his head, as I finally let out a little scream.

"You can talk" I cried

"Well spotted" he replied, with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice

"But....but rabbit's aren't supposed to talk" I managed to say

"Ah yes, but I'm not most rabbits," he said proudly, "I'm the Easter Bunny."

"The Easter Bunny? but it's February. Don't you normally come out in April?"

"Do I look like I'm delivering eggs?" He snapped. I looked around and couldn't see any baskets around so I shook my head.

"I'm actually on holidays at the moment." He continued. "I was having a race with a leprechaun, but I didn't see that lamp post there, and now he's probably already celebrating his victory at the pub. Stupid drunk."

I was beginning to feel woozy myself and tried to sit down, forgetting that I was still cradling the Easter Bunny's head in my arms, so we both ended up toppling to the ground. The Easter Bunny gave a cry of pain as we tried to untangle ourselves. I apologised profusely and invited him inside to get a drink. I figured it was the least I could do since it was my lamp post he had crashed into, not to mention having probably just made his injuries worse.

We came inside and he started sniffing around the lounge room while I got a glass of water from the kitchen.  When I came back to the lounge he was investigating my couch, where I had left my white fur coat earlier in the day. He saw the white coat and screamed. 

"What?" I screamed back, surprised at his sudden outburst

"You killed a yeti!" he yelled back. "You killed a yeti and turned him into a coat!"

"Ah" I said relieved. "First of all yetis aren't real, and second of all that's fake fur."

"Exactly." said The Easter Bunny angrily. "Where do you think all the fake fur in the world comes from?"

"From factories?" I replied confused

"No!" yelled the Easter Bunny, "It comes from Yetis."

Totally bamboozled by this stage I flopped down on the couch to try and wrap my head around everything that had happened in the past ten minutes. I noticed some jelly beans on the coffee table and absently started eating them. Suddenly The Easter Bunny looked over at me and jumped up.

"NO! DON'T EAT THAT" he yelled, but it was too late, I'd already had three.

"What? they're just jelly beans" I said defensively.

"They're not just jelly beans" he replied impatiently, "they are sleeping tablets. I give them to kids who are still awake when I come to deliver the eggs. It stops them from interrupting me while I work."

I was about to open my mouth to protest but things started going dark. I tried to fight the feeling of exhaustion that had washed over me, even for just a few minutes to tell The Easter Bunny how irresponsible it was to drug small children, but it was just too strong.

I woke up with the sun streaming onto my face, still fully dressed on the couch. I struggled up and tried to remember why I hadn't made it to bed the night before when I noticed a sheet of paper on the cushion next to where my head had been. I picked it up and began to read the unfamiliar handwriting.

"Sorry about drugging you, didn't your mother ever teach you not to take lollies from strangers? Thanks for the hospitality. EB"

Images from the night before came flooding back and I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands, trying to tell myself that everything that happened last night was just a crazy dream, but the note in my hands was making that impossible. I called my big sister and tried to tell her about my adventure, but she laughed uncomfortably and told me it might be time for a holiday. I told my mum, my little sister, even my boss. None of them believed me and my boss even told me I needed to stop working so hard and take some time to relax. 

And so that's how I became the crazy lady around here. But I refuse to give up. I've started a support group for others who have been visited by fictional characters, and I hope one day someone else will come forward and admit they too have met The Easter Bunny.

Secret Subject Swap - Fry up

Hello again my lovelies, another month has passed and it's time again for yet another Secret Subject Swap. For any of you who haven't heard of this phenomenon, each month 12 bloggers get together and swap topics with each other with thanks to Karen from Baking in a Tornado. Then on a pre-determined day we all release our posts at the same time so that the rest of you can enjoy. Before I get into the action, I'll introduce the other bloggers participating in the swap today. Once you have finished reading my slice of the fun, be sure to visit everyone else and share the love around.

http://www.BakingInATornado.com                     Baking In A Tornado

http://followmehome.shellybean.com                   Follow me home . . .

http://themomisodes.com                                  The Momisodes

http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/                     Confessions of a part-time working mom

http://aworkingmomswhoas.com/                        A Working Mom’s “Whoas”’

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com              Evil Joy Speaks

http://xcartwight.blogspot.com                            Go Momma!

http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                     Juicebox Confession

http://stacysewsandschools.wordpress.com/          Stacy Sews and Schools

http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com                  Spatulas on Parade

http://www.smalltalkmama.com                          Small Talk Mama

So today my topic is You have the opportunity to meet with any celebrity for coffee, dead or alive: who do you choose, where do you go, what do you talk about?

It was submitted by: Confessions of a part-time working mom     

So anyone who knows me will know how much I love to talk. I love it so much I kept getting work in call centres so I had an excuse to talk all day without anyone being allowed to tell me to shut up. (Ok neither of those are true facts, I got the jobs because I'm not fussy, and I still got told to shut up ALL the time.) But one thing I find that goes great with talking is coffee. Give me a cup of java and someone to talk to and I am happy as a pig in muck. Given my love for both of these things, I think the best person to go on a coffee date with would be Stephen Fry.

I am hoping desperately that you have all heard of this gentleman, and aren't all just staring at your computer screens blankly, as Stephen Fry has had his fingers in so many pies that surely even people who don't watch television must have heard of him. Good friend of comic geniuses like Hugh Laurie and Emma Thompson (and a comic genius in his own right too), writer, actor, director, and the owner of a golden voice, who lends his talents to kids cartoons and video games alike. (For any players of the game LittleBigPlanet you are looking at the narrator of all the games right here.) He is the quiz master of QI, one of my favourite quiz shows of all time, and he has worked alongside my future husband David Boreanaz on the set of Bones which is just a bonus in my book. He is also vocal about his struggles with depression and suicide, which is an important topic for anyone to understand.

Now for our coffee date I'd chose somewhere quiet and out of the way for us to meet up and meld minds. I'd love somewhere in London with low mood lighting and classic movie posters on the walls. Chandeliers would be an added bonus. We'd get a corner table out of the way of any other customers who come in and I'd order a cappuccino (because I am completely unimaginitive and refuse to try coffee without milk) and Stephen would have....is it wrong to assume that he'd have tea because he's British? Well given this is my coffee date and not his I'm going to give him a short black. (Apologies to the real Stephen Fry if I've gotten your order wrong, feel free to correct me :-D) Once we've gotten our drinks we can stop with the small talk that always happens when you don't have a cup in your hand and get on with the real conversing. The topics will be vast and varied, as I have chosen one of the most well rounded people I know of to accompany me in this fantasy. We can talk about current technology, (Stephen is a lover of all things Apple and was one of the first people in Britain to own the Apple Macintosh computer back in the eighties.) literature, the evolution and then devolution of the English language, Oscar Wilde, and anything else we can think of. I will try my hardest to make him swear too, because if there is one thing I love, it's hearing people with a posh British accent drop the F bomb. It is almost like the auditory version of finding a unicorn. 

The date would only end when the barista kicked us out because they need to close up for the evening. We would be sad for our chat to end as there would still be so much that we hadn't discussed, but we would button up our winter jackets and head out into the chilly London air, I to the airport because I really can't afford to stay in London for longer than one coffee date at a time, and Stephen to his flat. The world would seem slightly flat and boring after my one chat with Stephen, and I could only hope that I was able to add a little sunshine into his life too, even if only for one afternoon. I would remember my afternoon with my hero for the rest of my life, and would slowly bore and alienate all of my friends at parties as I bang on and on forever about the day I shared a coffee with Stephen Fry. So perhaps it's best for my social life such as it is that this all just happened in my head and not in real life.

Well that's all from me for now, be sure to visit the rest of the swappers if you haven't already, and be sure to tune in again next week when I take part in a new series that Karen has cooked up for us. 

New Year Old Me

As always I'm a step behind the rest of the blogging world when it comes to timely posting, but I know you guys will forgive me as always because I'm just that awesome.

So yesterday I wrote about what happened in December 2013, and why it was by far the worst month I've had for a long time. But December was only one month. What did I think about the rest of the year I've just had? To be perfectly honest I can't remember the past 12 months too well, probably because I was just too damn busy to stop and store much in my long term memory, but according to my phone's calendar and photo gallery, below are some of the things I managed to accomplish this year.

I kept Miss K alive for another 12 months

So according to the photos on my phone, the last photo I took of Miss K was on 24th December in the emergency room at Sunshine Hospital while she was driving dangerously. (Luckily if there was an accident we were surrounded by trained professionals.) But according to the lump in her bed she's still very much here so I'm considering that my biggest accomplishment to date. Anyone who has kids will tell you exactly how hard they are to keep safe, with their desire to touch everything they shouldn't touch, and jump off all the things you don't want them to jump off, so every day you can get them to bed in one piece is a win. Miss K and I have had a lot of ups and downs this year, a few major changes to our routines and quite a bit of stress and worry, but she is definitely blossoming into a beautiful child (despite her love of temper tantrums) and not a day goes by when I don't feel proud of her.

I finished my schooling

This one I still remember pretty well (probably because I ended up taking my final exam at McDonalds.) I have since gotten my final results, and while I didn't get a perfect score for the exam, I am pretty sure I got enough to pass the unit and I'll graduate along with everyone else in March. I haven't heard anything from my tutor to say otherwise, so I now just need to sit back and wait for my certificate to show up in the mail. I'm pretty proud to say the least that I managed to stick it out with this course, and I will finally have a piece of paper to show people that I know stuff about things. I still don't know if I'll ever actually use my new qualification outside of taking payments from clients, but at this stage that doesn't really matter as much as the fact that I actually managed to finish something.

I got a job and managed to keep it

So for anyone who saw the post I wrote when I first decided to try going back to work, you will know that the last time I worked for my boss I made it through 6 months before quitting and moving to another town over 100 Km away. (Not because I was scared of my former boss, just because the pickings are richer out west.) Well the 6 month mark came and went in December and I managed to ride out the storm and not quit my job this time. To be fair though I had no intentions of quitting this time, and given that I am older and wiser than I was in 2007 it wasn't hard to stick around this time. The work is still challenging, and I see more horrible things in a week than I ever wanted to see in a life time (such is the way when people start fighting over their children), but my boss is super generous, totally understanding about how hard it is to juggle kids and employment, and brilliant at her job, which makes my job easier. I still have to wear a monkey suit to work every day, and now I've been told I'm not allowed to put my hair in a pony tail while at work, so the demands will never stop, but I'm determined to keep my head down and just keep bringing in the moolah.

I started a business

Yes I am still a business owner, even though things are pretty quiet on the business side of things, but I managed to hit a pretty big sales target that Kaszazz give all new consultants and I'm loving all the perks being afforded to me as a consultant. We have officially gone multi-national so any of my crafty readers out there, check out the link and come see the awesome things you can do with our products. (Ok sales pitch over, I'll go back to being a blogger now.)

I got my teeth fixed

So this one I never blogged about, partly because it was too awful to talk about at the time, and partly because I hate my teeth, so talking about them is never high on my list of things to do. But I did get sick and tired of all the holes and pain so I gave in and visited a dentist. Two extractions and seven fillings later I'm still in pain while I continue to heal, but at least my smile looks normal. There was also one fun visit where the anesthetic wore off before the dentist was finished, and being the scaredy cat I am, I didn't have the nerve to tell her to stop playing with my teeth and drug me up again. That tooth took forever to stop hurting, and there is now a lump on the gum directly above it, so I need to go back to the dentist again this week to get her to check it out, but I'll get my teeth cleaned at the same time so it's not all bad. Seriously guys, brush your teeth every day. It saves you a hell of a lot of pain in the long run.

Miss K started day care

I know I swore black and blue that I would never send my daughter to day care and let strangers take care of her, but as always life had different plans for me. My big sister Sam has valiantly taken care of her for the past 6 months while I went off to work, and she did it without a single complaint (ok that's not entirely true, my daughter is a handful) but the strain of taking care of her own two children plus mine did get a bit much in the end. So I decided for her sake, and also to help Miss K learn to socialize with children who she isn't related to, that the time had come to put her into a program. We had a few weeks of orientation in December, which was actually timed perfectly because they came right after Sam's brother in law died, so she was really too busy taking care of her own family and didn't need the worry of Miss K as well. Orientation went super smoothly and Miss K is loving going to day care two days a week. She starts again on the 6th of this month while I'm still on holidays so if anything goes wrong I'm still close enough to deal with it for the first week. Sam's baby is starting school this year as well, so she won't know herself, being totally child free while Miss K is in day care, but she'll still get her one day a week, plus pick ups the rest of the time, so she won't be totally deprived of her time with Miss K. (Her words not mine)

I met long lost family members

So again this is something I didn't discuss at the time, but I actually got to meet one of my big sisters for the first time. I've mentioned before that my dad had 5 children with a previous wife, and I had met all of them except one. Well the Gods of fortune smiled on us this year and nearly 20 years after I met the first of my half brothers and sisters, I finally met the last one. The meeting was strange to say the least, as I could see the similarities that come with sharing a genetic bond, but given that her and her brothers and sisters were fed lies about our family their whole lives, things were slightly strained at first while we tried to figure each other  out. But my big sister and her partner are lovely ladies, and great mums and I am proud to be able to say I now know them. Miss K also got to meet a missing link in her family tree when Ady and his father finally reconnected after I don't know how many years of being estranged, and things there are going great. We make sure to pop in to visit him every month while we're down visiting Nonna, and while she has no idea we have anything to do with him (Ady hasn't gotten up the nerve to tell her and I refuse to get involved), it is lovely watching him develop a relationship with his only grandchild. He spoils her absolutely rotten any chance he gets, but he also genuinely loves her. He drives trams for a living, and lives very close to the route he drives, so any time a tram passes us as we walk down the street, they stop where they are so they can meet Miss K. It's fun watching my daughter disrupt Melbourne traffic and get away with it. If only she knew exactly how much power she held.

I made some wonderful blogging friends

So for anyone who has read anything before this blog, you'll know I have a blog crush on Karen from Baking in a Tornado. This lady just comes up with the best ideas for blogging, and I look forward to taking part in her blog series every chance I get. I get three chances this month, so I'm over the moon excited right now. But she certainly isn't the only wonderful blogger I've had the joy to cross paths with this year. From Vanessa at Babbling Bandit who writes about her daily struggles with depression with such raw honesty you can't help but feel her pain, to Stephanie at The Pursuit of Normal who makes me feel so much better about my own screw ups, and everyone else I have spoken to this year, (there are too many to mention), I will just say you ladies are all wonderful, and your writing has touched me so much over the year, so thank you.

Well I think that's a pretty good year. I'm sure other things happened too, but if I really gave you a play by play of the entire year, we'd be here until 2015 so I'll leave you now with my absolute favourite photo of 2013, Miss K as a fairy.

Before the new, a bit of the old

Happy 2014 my lovely people, I know I've been pretty absent the past month but things around here have been CRAZY busy these past weeks, and sadly when the chips are down this blog is the first place to get ignored. So thank you all for your never ending patience while you waited for me to get my head above water yet again, and to reward you all I have decided to grace the interwebs with yet another nugget of sparkling wisdom.

So to say that December was the worst month I've had in a long time seems like a slight understatement. There were pretty sad lows, a few health scares and lots of tears. My big sister lost her brother in law to suicide at the beginning of the month, and the whole family are still trying to come to terms with their grief and loss. I knew her brother in law, having gone to high school with him for a few years, and I even did my debutante ball with him back when I was 16. He very kindly stepped in to be my partner when all my other potentials fell through, even though by that stage he'd moved to a different school. As an added bonus, when his big brother finally married my big sister we were partnered together again for the wedding party and I already knew he was a good dancer. It was a life cut tragically short and his absence is strongly felt by everyone who knew him. My heart has broken time and time again for my big sister and my brother in law this month watching them feel such pain and I can only hope the day comes soon that this all becomes a little easier for them.

Also receiving a major hit was my sister in law who discovered in November that she would need to get her leg amputated. She had a bad infection in her foot and it hit the bone. It shouldn't have been so urgent except that she also discovered that she is pregnant again in November (Yay!!) and infections tend to be pretty bad for developing babies, so they had to chop the leg off. No one knew what was going to happen to the baby, whether or not it could cope with the anesthetic and the shock of major surgery, but luckily both mum and baby came out the other side OK and we now get to welcome a new baby into our family later this year. I have already advised I will not be joining her in getting knocked up this time (Miss K is 3 months younger than their daughter) but I will happily watch her swell up from the sidelines.

Then Miss K and I had an emergency visit to the Sunshine hospital on Christmas Eve after she fell and hit her head on the tiled floor at Nonna's house. I didn't see the actual fall as I was in the laundry doing some washing, but Miss K's Nonna insisted that the fall was only minor and took Miss K off for a drive to cheer her up. Unfortunately for us Miss K has a habit of falling asleep in the car, and sure enough she dozed off this time too. For anyone with basic knowledge of head injuries, you'd know that you never let anyone with a bump to the head go to sleep, as you can't properly observe a sleeping baby. Sure enough Miss K woke up with vomiting and dilated pupils and we rushed her to the emergency room to make sure everything was ok. The staff at Sunshine hospital were absolutely amazing, and knew exactly how to examine a sick two year old. There were stickers and bubbles and everything else a little girl could love, and she didn't even realise she was undergoing medical tests. Luckily for us she only had a mild concussion, there were no signs of bleeding to the brain or fractures to the skull so we were given permission to give her some pain killers and after watching her tear around the emergency room in a Cosy Coupe for an hour and a half they were happy enough to let us go home. For Ady and I the visit to the hospital was an awful trip down memory lane, as it was nearly three years ago we made our first visit to an emergency room when Miss K got meningitis. As horrible luck goes, Ady's car broke down that morning so he couldn't even drive us to the hospital. I had to throw Miss K into Nonna's car and get her to take us to the hospital and Ady caught up with us there. Watching him walk up to our bed on the ward was the most relieved I had felt since the whole disaster started and I burst into tears. By then we had been told that she was going to be ok, but I still couldn't relax until we were allowed to go home and I could see my mum. Of course for me, home was still more than two hours away, so it was a white knuckle trip home. Poor Ady tried to make conversation the whole drive but I was too busy waiting for Miss K to throw up again to really talk.

Despite having taken a knock to the head, Miss K did bounce back pretty quickly, and because I was waking her up every 4 hours to take more pain killers, her Christmas started at 2am when she saw her first present, her very own Cosy Coupe, which my little sister Kim had been putting together while we were driving home. It was just dumb luck that she had already spent the better part of her afternoon screaming around the hospital in one the day before so she knew how to drive it, but I'd had the car on lay by for a whole month before Christmas, because I am just an awesome mum.

Pictured: The daughter of the best mum ever!

Christmas went pretty smoothly despite everything I've mentioned above, we had lunch at our place with almost all the family, Ben and Tristan decided to spend Christmas with Tristan's family so we won't get to give them their gifts until they come down for mum's birthday next week, but Ady did get to come and spend the day with his daughter, and watching the two of them play together was a wonderful way to spend Christmas. She got more presents than I could possibly find homes for, including a kitten, which has been named Bertie Beetle (because why not?) and he is quickly becoming one of the family. 

He's pretty cute for a fur ball.

Given that I am very allergic to cats and usually go out of my way to avoid them at all costs, I will admit that he's pretty cute for a cat, and because I am the one who feeds him and cleans his litter tray, I get most of the cuddles off him, but Miss K is trying her hardest to get him to play with her, even if her methods are rough to say the least. Surprisingly enough Bertie puts up with most of her rough housing, only crying when she grabs him by the tail or the legs. I have had to rescue him from her death grip on more than one occasion but I'm sure they'll find their groove soon enough.

So that's pretty much summed up the past month. Ady is still in town, so Miss K has been spending time with him every day this week, much to her delight, and I'm loving it because it makes a wonderful bargaining chip for me whenever she refuses to go to bed. Any time she gets up one too many times I tell her she can't see dad tomorrow if she misbehaves and it pulls her head right in. I've also gotten some much needed quiet time while they go off together so I'm feeling almost relaxed at the moment. Except that we're also trying potty training right now so there's always something to worry about.

Well I'll be back again tomorrow with more gems for you guys, so stay tuned for that. Also I'm taking part in three blog series put together by Karen from Baking in a Tornado this month, the first one coming up very soon, so keep your eyes peeled guys. But until then, as always, stay awesome and happy new year.

An Advent Calendar for Karen

Hello audience, a lot of you have been sent here by the lovely Tamara from Confessions from a part-time working mom, and others have probably stumbled here by accident while trying to find whatever high brow stuff normal people look at while browsing the internet. (I personally prefer sites that feature toilet humor, but that definitely doesn't happen around here.)

Image source

There is nothing funny to be seen here at all.

But for those of you who know exactly why you're here (and even for the ones who don't) I was contacted by Tamara in mid November when she invited me and a heap of other bloggers to help her create an advent calendar for the lovely and ever so talented Karen from Baking in a Tornado. You see Karen never had the pleasure of owning an advent calendar as a child. Can you imagine not knowing the excitement that is that cardboard box with little windows full of tiny chocolates? When I was a kid that was the only way I knew how close we were to the big day. But being one of six kids we never actually got to eat much chocolate, it was one of the only times I wished my mum had stopped at two kids. (OK that's a lie, I always wished my mum had stopped at two.)

Image source

One pile each, that might have been almost enough to make me happy...

So today is my turn to make the chocolate to go behind the little window (and as with everything else I do, it must come with a long winded speech). I have wracked my brains for a whole ten minutes now, trying to come up with something that is special enough to give to one of the loveliest bloggers I know. I've decided since Karen is such a food lover, I'd give her a recipe straight out of a real Aussie Christmas. Now I don't use this recipe, as we are lazy chefs at my house and buy our meringue base pre-baked from Woolworths, but I have gotten it from the oldest recipe book in our house, The Australian Women's Weekly Cookbook, published in 1977, so you know this recipe is the real deal. For a real Australian taste at your next Christmas dinner, whip up this little beauty and impress your family and friends.

Pavlova

Ingredients

3 egg whites at room temperature (little tip, make sure the eggs are a few days old for really stiff peaks)

a pinch of salt

3/4 cup of castor sugar

1/4 cup of white sugar

1 tablespoon of cornflour

1 teaspoon lemon juice

500ml thickened cream (17 fluid ounces I think)

Fresh fruit to top (or if you're my family, peppermint chocolate and Cadbury Flake)

Pre-heat the oven to 90 degrees celsius if it is a gas oven or 160 degrees celsius if it is an electric oven (200 and 325 degrees farenheit)

Beat the egg whites and salt until they form stiff peaks

Add the caster sugar gradually, beating well between each addition

Combine the white sugar and cornflour and lightly fold into the meringue with the lemon juice

Spoon the mixture into a round cake dish and bake in the oven for 1 hour if it is a gas oven or 30 - 40 minutes if it is an electric oven

When the pavlova base is dry to the touch turn the oven off and leave the pavlova inside the oven to cool

When the pavlova is cool whip the cream and spread over the entire pavlova base

Decorate the top of the pavlova with soft fruit such as berries, kiwi fruit, bananas and/or chocolate.

Image via Cooking on the Bay

Well now that I have revealed one of the things we have on our table every single Christmas, I hope you can all enjoy it too.  A big thank you to Tamara for setting this all up, and Merry Christmas Karen, two days down, twenty two days to go. Enjoy the rest of your calendar.

I love it!!

I'm sure you're all surprised to see me writing right now. Especially given that lately the only time I hit this old blog up is when summoned by the great Karen at Baking in a Tornado to write for one of her awesome series.  Well it's almost 11 o'clock at night, and I'm the only one still out of bed, and I've suddenly been hit with the urge to write to you guys. So firstly sorry for my neglect, and thank you for your patience. I hope tonight's inspiration is not short lived and that I can get back into the swing of things. Especially since I feel so good right now. It's been a long time in the making but I can honestly say I love life right now. It feels amazing to finally say that I am happy. This doesn't mean I spend my days singing from the roof tops, or even that I smile 24 hours a day. I still have bad moods, I still get tired, and I have a chest cold right now, so even at my absolute best things aren't perfect, but they are still pretty damned good.

So just because I am such a giving and thoughtful person, I thought I'd share the love with you guys, and let you know what the go is around here, and why I'm so darn happy now.  So the first bit of good news is I finally finished my studies. I have no idea whether or not I've passed yet, I won't get the results from the final exam until next month, but I've submitted my application to graduate next year with the rest of the class, and all I can do now is sit and wait for some kind of confirmation.  The final exam was nothing short of a shambles, first off I missed the exam date because of a screw up with messages from the school, and I had to organise with my tutor to "re-sit" the exam. Then on the day I had the exam booked the servers at the TAFE all crashed, so I couldn't access the system to actually take the exam.  The joys of being totally reliant on modern technology.  I was offered the choice of coming back another day, or going somewhere with free wi-fi and a borrowed laptop and going ahead with the exam on the day. Given I was already two weeks late to sit, I decided against trying again another day and my tutor and I headed of to McDonalds and I took my exam accompanied by the smell of fry oil and pre-schoolers enjoying a trip out with mum and dad.  I can't say it was my easiest exam to get through, but it certainly was the most memorable. I'm sure I'll spend my twilight years regaling my grandchildren with stories of the day grandma took her final exam next to the play equipment at Maccas. Then we will all sit back and laugh at my wild antics as a youngin'.

Now I'm sure you're all thinking I decided to sit back and enjoy all the free time that not being a student affords me. That would be true except for two things. Firstly I never actually studied until the eleventh hour the whole year, so there hasn't actually been an increase in free time for me, and secondly, I have gone completely insane and decided to fill in the non-existent free time by opening up a business.  I am now an independent Kaszazz consultant, which means that I get paid to make scrap book layouts and beautiful cards, and then sell the products that I used to make my art.  It's still early days at the moment, but I've already held one workshop which was open to general public, and started regular private workshops for a select few people (read my big sister and sister in law.)  Once I'm more confident in the stock I'm actually meant to be selling and the skills I need to hold the workshops, I'll start expanding and actually hold more public workshops and hopefully make more sales.  It has been a huge learning experience already, and it can only go up from here. Except for my bank account, that will definitely keep shrinking because I can't help but keep buying every thing I see in the catalog.

I'm still also employed part time at the law firm, and despite it being as depressing as you could imagine spending your days facilitating other people's divorces and custody battles, I am loving being so busy eight hours a day. I start running the minute I get in the door at 8:45 and I don't stop until 5:30 some nights. It's hectic, stressful and some times confronting, but at the end of the day I walk out the door knowing that I've done a good day's work and earned my wage for the day. And the screams and cuddles I get from Miss K when I go to pick her up are always the best part of the day. And all of the worrying I did before I started that she wouldn't adjust, or that it would make life difficult for her were all for nothing. She is of course in the best hands possible being left in the care of mum and Sam, and I usually spend the first five minutes at my sister's house being shown the latest art project they did together, or hearing the new words she learned today. She's always so proud to show off to me, and it's great to see her getting to try things that she'd never get to do with me.

The rest of life with Miss K is pretty peachy too right now.  Of course she's a typical 2 year old, which means she pushes her luck every chance she gets, trying to learn her boundaries and expand them when she can.  We're still learning every day what it means to be a mum and daughter, and our relationship is constantly evolving, and of course I have to do a lot of mean things as her mum, like make sure she eats vegetables on a semi-regular basis, and pick her nose when she has a cold, and enforce rules, even when I don't feel like being the bad cop today, and there are days where it takes a lot of chanting "it's for her own good" to myself to get through another temper tantrum, but we always come out the end of it happy.

I am so proud of the person Miss K is becoming, she is so fearless and she charges through life head first at all times. She loves meeting new people and charms the pants off everyone the moment she speaks to them.  She actually met her Nonno for the first time a month ago, Ady finally having reconciled with his father and they are speaking again for the first time in years. I'd never met his father the whole time we dated, and I wasn't even sure if he was aware when Miss K was born, so we're making up for a lot of lost time at the moment, and in December Miss K and I have been summoned to meet the rest of his family at their annual family reunion. So far Nonno seems to be a doting grandfather, and there are always presents for Miss K whenever we visit, and mysteriously they are always perfectly suited to her. We went down this weekend and there were colouring pencils and Little People figurines waiting in Nonno's kitchen for her.  I have no idea how he knows exactly what to get her, but Miss K certainly always appreciates the gifts and I appreciate the effort and thought.

Things with Ady are going smoothly at the moment, and we've managed to navigate our way through several issues without everything dissolving into screaming matches and name calling lately. I can't say that everything there is perfect, because there are still all the reasons why we never survived as a couple staring us in the face, which does sometimes make it hard to get along, but we're trying to work together for Miss K's sake and so far it's going ok. We're now starting to talk about Miss K staying with her dad by herself, and we're aiming for starting the visits after Miss K turns 3, so I've now given myself something new to stress about. Yay!

Well that's all from me for now, I should probably get to bed too given I need to be up in 7 hours to get ready for work again, the daily grind continues.  I hope to be back again soon, but until then, stay awesome.

Secret Subject Swap - Dwarfed

Hello again my lovelies, it is time again for yet another Secret Subject Swap. We are gathered here today for take one of the November swaps, and I am plum tuckered out right now. In my true style, I have decided to leave writing this post until the absolute last minute, which for me means half an hour after I undertake a two hour drive through Melbourne and to the suburbs so Miss K can visit with her Italian family. So you'll have to forgive me if this post descends into madness pretty quickly tonight, as both Miss K and I are pretty tuckered out right now, and it's past both our bed times. (OK so technically it's only past Miss K's bed time as I usually stay up until midnight anyway, but tonight, my guest bed is looking pretty darn inviting. Even if it is only a single bed that I have to share with a squirmy 2 year old.)

Anyway, on with the fun, first allow me to introduce you to the other players in today's proceedings.  All of these lovely bloggers are incredibly brilliant, and they all deserve your visit as much as I do.

http://BakingInATornado.com                        Baking In A Tornado

http://themomisodes.com/                         The Momisodes

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                     Just A Little Nutty

http://followmehome.shellybean.com              Follow me home . . .

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/    Moore Organized Mayhem

http://thesadderbutwisergirl.com                The Sadder But Wiser Girl              

http://dinoheromommy.com/                            Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

http://crazyasnormal.com                                     Crazy As Normal

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                   Searching for Sanity

http://dawnsdisaster.blogspot.com                           Dawn’s Disaster

http://www.menopausalmom.com/                               Menopausal Mother

http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                           Evil Joy Speaks

Ok so today my subject is You’re having a bad day. The doorbell rings, you go to answer it and . . . And this topic was given to me by none other than the big cheese herself, Karen from Baking in a Tornado.  I was so excited to hear I was finally being selected to write about the grand master's (Mistress?) subject of choice I could have jumped for joy. (Of course if such a thing was possible, damn my ample, doughnut loving backside for keeping me so firmly rooted to the ground.)

It's days like today that make me wonder if I wasn't totally insane for taking on a full time job.  The dressing down I got from both the office manager and my boss for making a simple mistake in one tiny letter was bad enough, but then when I went to pick Miss K up from my big sister's house, I was gravely informed that she had been hitting my nephew in the head again. I made my excuses and left her house pretty quickly after she told me that, promising that I'd have a word with Miss K about keeping her hands to herself, and joined the peak hour traffic to get Miss K home and to bed. When I finally got home, I found out that mum had not managed to cook the roast tea she had promised before she went out to work, and it was now my responsibility to try and pull a meal out of the meagre findings in our pantry. I was busy dusting off the bags of loose pasta hiding in the back of the cupboard with one hand while pulling Miss K away from the plastic bags on the bottom shelf when there came a loud knock at the door.

"Perfect" I grumbled to myself, "Kim's forgotten her bloody keys again hasn't she?" I stormed to the door, and threw it open getting ready to give my little sister a serve only to find there was no one there. "Bloody kids" I muttered to myself, getting ready to slam the door, when suddenly I heard a small voice say "We're not kids thank you very much, we're dwarves." I looked again, but still saw no one. Then another voice called out "down here." Well imagine my surprise when I looked down and saw not one but seven little people standing in my archway. "Can I help you?" I asked, trying to keep the surprise out of my voice.

"Actually," said the oldest looking one at the front, "We were hoping to help you." 

"And what exactly were you hoping to help me with?" I replied, still desperately trying to sound like it was normal for me to be speaking to seven very short men. 

"We've been watching you for a while!" snapped another of the men,  "And you clearly need all the help you can get!" I was getting ready to tell this rude man what I thought of his opinion when the old man spoke up. 

"Never mind him, he's always grumpy.  But he is right, you do need help. And that's what we're here for, to help you." 

I was getting ready to refuse their offer when Miss K came running to the door holding her cup. "dink, dink" she yelled, clearly forgetting that she'd already had one drink since we'd gotten home. At the sound of her voice I hung my head and opened the door to the men, ignoring the fact that I was quite possibly allowing seven axe murderers into my house, purely so I didn't have to pour another cordial for Miss K.

"So how does this work?" I asked weakly, admitting defeat having sapped the last of the energy from my body. 

"Well" said one of the men with a sniff, "how about you go and have a shower, and by the time you get back, everything will be taken care of."

While I was unwilling to admit that the prospect of being naked with seven strange men in my house was unsettling, I was willing to admit that I did need a shower, having missed my morning shower already today with sleeping in and running late to work, so I turned away from the men and started towards the bathroom. As I shut the door I could hear Miss K yelling "Dink, dink" at the top of her voice, and one of the strangers leading her into the kitchen to grab her a drink. "At least I don't have to worry about Miss K getting into anything while I'm in the water" I said to no one in particular as I tested the water with my wrist. I stepped into the shower and stood under the hot water for longer than I care to admit, just happy that for once I didn't have to rush so that Miss K wasn't left unsupervised for too long. Even if her supervisors were only a few inches taller than her.

Once I was finally showered and dressed again I hesitantly stepped out of the bathroom and braced myself for the worst possible scenario. After all I had just left my daughter with seven strangers, I could only imagine what hell I was walking into.  But to my surprise the house was still standing. What's more, it was clean. I walked into the kitchen and found a pot of tuna casserole slowly simmering away, nearly ready to be served. I walked down the hall to Miss K's room and found her playing quietly with a baby doll, the hurricane of toys that had been left there earlier this morning was no where to be seen, and the pile of dirty nappies and clothes I'd added to the bottom of my to do list last night were also missing.  But where were the little men? I rushed back through the house, terrified that they had left us, but when I got to the lounge room, there they were, putting the last of the magazines back on the table. 

"Thank you!" I gasped, not used to walking so quickly any more, "what you've done for us is amazing."

"We know" grumbled the grumpy one. "It's just what we do."

"And now that we're finished," said the old one, "we're going."

"What?" I gasped again, "You can't leave me, I need you."

"No," replied the grumpy one, "what you need is to get your lazy butt off the computer once in a while and do some house work."

"But that's boring" I moaned. "I'd rather play jigsaw puzzles online."

"Well that's too bad" said the sniffly gnome, "we've got you started, it's up to you to keep it up."

"Don't worry" said another one with a kindly smile, "it's not that hard, you just need to whistle while you work and the work just flies by."

"I don't know what I'll do without you little men" I said sadly as they walked towards the front door. "You've really spoilt me tonight."

I was about to say thank you again when the front door opened and mum walked in. I was about to introduce her to the little men when I looked down and noticed they had disappeared. I was terrified I had hallucinated the entire thing, but when I turned back into the lounge room it was still clean. 

"Well at least it wasn't a dream" I said to myself.

"What?" asked mum?

"Nothing I replied. "Are you hungry? There's tuna casserole on the stove and the lounge room is nice and clean for you."

"Thank you honey, you're an angel" mum said with a sigh as she pulled her apron off. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

I was about to admit I had nothing to do with any of it, but I decided to keep my mouth tightly closed. I guess it was better to have a huge reputation to live up to than to make her think I was losing my mind.