Today is International Women's Day, so I thought this was the perfect time to discuss being a woman. I know it isn't something I'm forbidden to speak about the other 364 days a year, but I recently tried an experiment, and its findings seem relevant on a day like today.
If you ask a woman what the three most important things in her life are, she'd probably have a hard time answering you. We all have so much going on, it's sometimes hard to put a number on anything in our lives, but I'm going to hazard a guess and say a pretty popular answer would be family, friends and financial security. That's just a total stab in the dark (and probably what I'd say if asked). But these are three very big things, and they can be hard things to juggle. Some women have an ability to do just that, and make it look easy too, but I don't think I've ever been that woman. If my career is going well, my housework is suffering, as are my friendships. If my family life is taking up my focus, my work ethic goes out the window, along with my cleaning schedule. (Let's face it, I'll take any excuse not to clean up after myself.) I've never been able to find that perfect balance, and I will quite often choose to sit on the couch and drink coffee rather than actually do any of the things on my mile long to do list. I'm an expert procrastinator, just ask me. (But not right now ok, I'm too busy staring at my eye worms.)
But recently I wanted to find out whether or not it is indeed possible to have all the things. I wanted to know whether there was a way to be the perfect woman we always see in the media. She's impeccably groomed, she has time for coffee with the girlfriends, she has wholesome home cooked meals on the table every single night, and I'm sure she's a tiger in the sack too, but they never really show that part during prime time television for some reason... So I decided to become that woman for a while, to step into her shoes and find out exactly how the hell it is she does all the things the television says she does. I was hoping that I'd find some secret formula to all of this, which I could then rush off and share to all of my female friends who at the end of the day always look the same as me; exhausted, overwhelmed and not a little bit crazed. So for one week I decided to become the "perfect" woman, I was going to be everything for everyone. I was to be the perfect mother, the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect housekeeper and the perfect employee. I'm sure you've all already guessed how this turned out.
In order to be the perfect mother, I decided I couldn't reprimand Miss K too strongly. You would never see a TV mum calling her kids bone headed for sticking their finger in the fan, so neither would I. (I did giggle while I was comforting her though, which is also something you'd never see a TV mum doing.) You'd never see her sending her kids off to school with junk food in their lunch boxes or serving convenience meals for dinner, so neither would I. All meals for the week were to be healthy and well thought out. There was to be nothing artificial pass our lips at all during this time. And all this meant was a lot more time spent in the kitchen for me. Of course there were some moments of pride like the night my carbonara fettucini turned out really well, or the day Miss K and I made popcorn for her lunches (no salt or butter though, that's just too unhealthy) but for the most part all I remember is pruny fingers from having my hands in dishwater, and sweat pouring off me while I slaved over the stove in 30 degree heat (86 degrees farenheit for my American friends) which immediately made me regret not trying this experiment in the winter when my kitchen is my favourite place in the house simply because of all the heat I can generate at once. I will say the time spent with Miss K at the end of the day as we ate our dinner without watching television, and cleaned the kitchen together were pretty pleasant when I wasn't stressing that she wasn't eating her vegetables, or was taking too long to dry the dishes (mainly because she was turning the cutlery into people), but listening to her constant chatter was always guaranteed to make me smile.
Being the perfect daughter was more of a challenge for me, because I'm pretty much perfect already. (I can hear my mum laughing at this statement already.) but I figured that given I know one of mum's biggest pet peeves in the world is a dirty kitchen, all the time I spent in there keeping it pristine would have made her pretty happy. Plus she had a whole week off from having to cook food, which is something all mum's dream of. (Trust me, I know.) I felt bad that I couldn't think of anything earth shattering to do to assert my role as the perfect child, so I had to take comfort in the little things like a (mostly) edible meal sitting in the microwave every single night, and a block of cheese in the fridge for her midnight snacks at all time. It clearly worked though, because she literally just called me a dick, so I'm obviously the favourite child right now.
As for perfect sister and perfect employee, they kind of ended up being rolled into one, as I spent the week helping my big sister who is trying to get a business off the ground. I'm hoping that by getting in at the ground floor, I'll be in for easy money once she's a millionaire. So for this part of my role, I spent my week studying up on contract law, and drawing up terms and conditions as well as a refund policy for her new business. I also drew up a business plan for her, and got started on the registration process for taxes and other boring stuff. Believe it or not this was actually the most fun part of my week, which makes more sense when I tell you I do my budget for fun, and I can write up legal documents in my sleep. This was also the area where I felt the most useful. There are definitely times where I miss being in a work environment, so having a chance to play secretary for the week was rewarding.
One of the things I learned throughout this week is that it takes a hell of a lot of organisation just to be remotely proficient in more than one of these areas. I had more lists running through my head and written down in my organiser than I knew what to do with. I would almost be happy never to see another list again. I also learned that when you're doing everything for everyone else, it is very easy to forget yourself quickly. My own needs eventually became low priority, simply because I can forgive myself for forgetting to shower more than once a week. (Another reason why this would have been a better experiment to do in the dead cold of winter.) I also became very protective of time I put aside for myself. Texts and snapchats suddenly became an intrusion during a time I wished to speak to no one, whereas once upon a time I was happy to be reachable right up to and even sometimes after bedtime. When you put so much of yourself into working for other people, those three hours at the end of the day when kids are finally in bed but you are not become a revered time that you spend all other waking hours dreaming of. When someone dared to take up that time by making me look at photos of their latest trip to the pub I started to feel just the tiniest bit stabby. I could have turned off my phone, but a perfect person probably wouldn't shut themselves off from the world like that.
But where did all of this leave me at the end of the week? It leaves me with a sparkly clean kitchen, a freezer full of pre-prepared meals I can pull out and defrost, it leaves me with lots of lovely memories of times I didn't lose my temper at Miss K like I normally would, and it hopefully leaves her feeling a little bit more secure about her place in my world. But most of all it leaves me feeling over tired and under appreciated. It's not like I went into this looking for praise or accolades, or even that people didn't recognise the hard work I put in during this week. My big sister even forced me to take the weekend off from working for her, simply because I was starting to look like a zombie by the time Thursday rolled around. It was more the feeling that what I just spent a week doing is expected as the bare minimum for women these days. We're expected to go find work outside of the house, plus keep doing the work we've always done inside the house, and look like a million dollars the whole time. I simply couldn't keep this up for much longer before I needed a week at the local psych ward. I definitely understand why women turn to alcohol.
I certainly don't feel perfect right now, if anything I feel less perfect than I did before I started. It served to highlight all of the areas in my life where I don't balance things properly when I'm not watching myself, which is always a cheerful thing to think about. But I definitely came out of this with a newly found respect for women everywhere who do this for more than one week at a time. For the women out there who this is necessary each and every single day. Be it because they simply don't have the support network I am fortunate to have around me, or because they find doing all of this rewarding, instead of exhausting, or even simply because they want to prove that it can be done; I still think you're slightly mad, but I salute you anyway.
Now if you'll excuse me, this perfectly imperfect woman has just earned herself a perfectly long nap.
I come for the coffee, I stay for the padded walls and straight jackets
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Wednesday, 9 March 2016
Saturday, 20 June 2015
June Fly on the Wall
Welcome again to another Fly on the Wall. This series is about sharing all the little things that we all do that are never enough on their own for a blog post, but tend to group together nicely in a post like this, just to show you that even the flies in our house are ashamed to know us. Today 18 bloggers are participating in the challenge, and their links are written below. Be sure to visit all of them, even if only to make you feel just a little bit better about how insane you are.
My brother law was recently diagnosed as diabetic. I never knew just how inappropriate conversations about blood tests could be until we all decided to play with his new blood sugar tester.
Me: Did you prick me already? I didn't feel a thing.
Sam: That's what she said.
Me: You're going to have to prick me again, I got nothing out of that one.
Me: I'm getting nothing out of this one.
Jason: Squeeze it harder then.
*inappropriate giggling from every adult in the room*
Sam: I want Eliza to have a turn. Where's his little jabby thing?
*inappropriate giggling from me*
Sam: I said his LITTLE jabby thing.
Needless to say that didn't stop the giggling.
Me: Life is more like a soap opera than we realise. The only difference is we don't do the longing stares into the difference when things go wrong.
Mum: That is so true. I'm going to make it my life's mission now to do that stare into the distance whenever something goes wrong. Can I get some dramatic music too?
Kim and I were discussing recipes from our childhood with mum when we started talking about a recipe mum had when she was a kid. This is the conversation that ensued.
Mum: I was about to say I'd ask mum, but never mind*
Me: Did you really? Aww mum.
Kim: Hold on, let me get out the ouija board...0408
Me: Hang on, that's my number, I'm not dead yet, don't summon me!
*My grandma has been dead 25 years, which somehow makes mum's initial comment even sadder.
Nat: I had to get the dinner cart downstairs to the kids at work the other day, but I hate taking the elevator, so I stuck the dinner cart on the elevator, pushed the button then raced the elevator down the stairs. Unfortunately I got halfway down the stairs and forgot what I was doing, so I just went back to my room and left the cart to ride the elevator. It could have ended up in the basement if my room leader hadn't got it for me.
Me: Did you know that strawberry flavouring comes from beaver secretions, from their scent gland.
Nat: Really? I have strawberry flavoured lip gloss.
Me: Oh. Well then, enjoy putting your beaver secretions on your lips.
Me: I feel it is inappropriate to break into 1980's songs when yelling at the children.
The court house in the town I work in has a massive circuit every three months, and all the local people going through the family law courts can have their matters heard in the area. It saves everyone having to travel an hour and a half to the next closest family law courts. The joys of living in a rural area. The latest circuit just happened this last week, and we had thirty matters going through the court in one week. Most of them happened in the first day so I had to help my boss get the case files for about 25 matters to the court house, which is half a block away from our office, so we walked the files down. I was carrying about 20 kilos worth of paperwork the whole trip, then we got to the court house and found that they were doing security scans at the front door, which meant that entry was in single file, and the queue to enter was the length of the building. Needless to say by the time we got the files into the court room my arms and legs were like jelly. The sore muscles I ended up with lasted another three days. The pain ended up so bad Miss K had to pull me up the stairs into my sister's house when I went to pick her up at night. I'm now going to request we get office skate boards before next circuit. The added bonus is I will look mega cool when I ride it down to the cafe every week to pick up our milk.
Miss K has fortnightly speech therapy sessions in a nearby town. This is a conversation she has with our therapist every single week. You would think the woman would learn by now she needs to rephrase this question.
Chloe: What is this girl doing?
Miss K: She's eating a burger.
Chloe: And where is she eating the burger?
Miss K: (pointing to the picture) Right there.
Well that's all from me for this month, be sure to buzz back again next month for another installment of crazy.
http://www.BakingInATornado.
http://spatulasonparade.
http://followmehome.
http://www.menopausalmom.com/
http://stacysewsandschools.
http://batteredhope.blogspot.
http://www.justalittlenutty.
http://themomisodes.com
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.
http://gndisney.wordpress.com
http://www.juiceboxconfession.
http://dinoheromommy.com/
http://www.angelaweight.com
http://www.southernbellecharm.
http://thesadderbutwisergirl.
http://eileensperpetuallybusy.
My brother law was recently diagnosed as diabetic. I never knew just how inappropriate conversations about blood tests could be until we all decided to play with his new blood sugar tester.
Me: Did you prick me already? I didn't feel a thing.
Sam: That's what she said.
Me: You're going to have to prick me again, I got nothing out of that one.
Me: I'm getting nothing out of this one.
Jason: Squeeze it harder then.
*inappropriate giggling from every adult in the room*
Sam: I want Eliza to have a turn. Where's his little jabby thing?
*inappropriate giggling from me*
Sam: I said his LITTLE jabby thing.
Needless to say that didn't stop the giggling.
Me: Life is more like a soap opera than we realise. The only difference is we don't do the longing stares into the difference when things go wrong.
Mum: That is so true. I'm going to make it my life's mission now to do that stare into the distance whenever something goes wrong. Can I get some dramatic music too?
Kim and I were discussing recipes from our childhood with mum when we started talking about a recipe mum had when she was a kid. This is the conversation that ensued.
Mum: I was about to say I'd ask mum, but never mind*
Me: Did you really? Aww mum.
Kim: Hold on, let me get out the ouija board...0408
Me: Hang on, that's my number, I'm not dead yet, don't summon me!
*My grandma has been dead 25 years, which somehow makes mum's initial comment even sadder.
Nat: I had to get the dinner cart downstairs to the kids at work the other day, but I hate taking the elevator, so I stuck the dinner cart on the elevator, pushed the button then raced the elevator down the stairs. Unfortunately I got halfway down the stairs and forgot what I was doing, so I just went back to my room and left the cart to ride the elevator. It could have ended up in the basement if my room leader hadn't got it for me.
Me: Did you know that strawberry flavouring comes from beaver secretions, from their scent gland.
Nat: Really? I have strawberry flavoured lip gloss.
Me: Oh. Well then, enjoy putting your beaver secretions on your lips.
Me: I feel it is inappropriate to break into 1980's songs when yelling at the children.
The court house in the town I work in has a massive circuit every three months, and all the local people going through the family law courts can have their matters heard in the area. It saves everyone having to travel an hour and a half to the next closest family law courts. The joys of living in a rural area. The latest circuit just happened this last week, and we had thirty matters going through the court in one week. Most of them happened in the first day so I had to help my boss get the case files for about 25 matters to the court house, which is half a block away from our office, so we walked the files down. I was carrying about 20 kilos worth of paperwork the whole trip, then we got to the court house and found that they were doing security scans at the front door, which meant that entry was in single file, and the queue to enter was the length of the building. Needless to say by the time we got the files into the court room my arms and legs were like jelly. The sore muscles I ended up with lasted another three days. The pain ended up so bad Miss K had to pull me up the stairs into my sister's house when I went to pick her up at night. I'm now going to request we get office skate boards before next circuit. The added bonus is I will look mega cool when I ride it down to the cafe every week to pick up our milk.
Miss K has fortnightly speech therapy sessions in a nearby town. This is a conversation she has with our therapist every single week. You would think the woman would learn by now she needs to rephrase this question.
Chloe: What is this girl doing?
Miss K: She's eating a burger.
Chloe: And where is she eating the burger?
Miss K: (pointing to the picture) Right there.
Well that's all from me for this month, be sure to buzz back again next month for another installment of crazy.
Saturday, 15 February 2014
February Use Your Words The Very Bad Day
Hello and welcome to the February edition of the new blogging game Use Your Words. It looks like this series was another winner for Karen at Baking in a Tornado, so she's decided to keep it around for now.
This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.
So allow me to introduce you to the other bloggers participating in todays challenge. Be sure to visit them all and see how they manage to mold a group of random words into something beautiful.
This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.
So allow me to introduce you to the other bloggers participating in todays challenge. Be sure to visit them all and see how they manage to mold a group of random words into something beautiful.
http://BakingInATornado.com
http://www.justalittlenutty.
http://batteredhope.blogspot.
http://www.JuiceboxConfession.com Juicebox Confession
www.theblacksheepmom.blogspot.
http://stacysewsandschools.
http://thethreegerbers.
http://www.eviljoyspeaks.
http://spatulasonparade.
http://berghamchronicles.
www.fbxadventures.blogspot.com
http://www.healingtomato.com
http://dates2diapers2.
http://followmehome.
www.outmannedmommy.com/
Now the other thing you need to know is what words I have been given to include. This time my words were submitted by Spatulas on Parade and they are: calendar ~ time off ~ jerky ~ teriyaki ~ hot dang ~ slammin
So I mentioned in my last post how we had the worst bush fires in five years over the last week. I had to go to work on Monday despite the fact that the town I worked in was closed off from all freeway traffic and authorities were telling everyone to stay away from the town. Off course with all of this in mind, I had gone to bed the night before assuming that my boss would tell us to stay home the next day. Despite the fact that I figured I had some time off on the Monday, I was still up at 7am like I always am on a work day. (Trust my stupid body calendar to know it's a weekday) so I texted the office manager asking for confirmation that I should stay home and not do anything insane like drive directly into a fire affected town. Sadly for me she told me I HAD to go to work, and I would need to leave early because I'd have to find an alternate route into town.
Now I don't know what any of you would do in this situation, but my natural response is to panic. I started tearing around the house madly trying to find clothes for me and Miss K and trying to remember where I put my shoes on Wednesday night after I finished work. I grabbed Miss K and started to take her nappy off, so I could get her cleaned up and ready for day care. What I didn't realise at the time was that I had grabbed her and ripped her nappy off mid bowel movement, when she was beyond the point of no return. I was so distracted and complaining to mum I didn't realise anything was wrong until I noticed the nugget on my carpet, looking a lot like a piece of teriyaki chicken. "Hot dang!" I yelled as I scrambled to pick it up. (Actually what I really said was a lot ruder and more appropriate for when you have a lump of turd on your carpet, but this is a child friendly place right here you know?) By this time Miss K was crying because she was upset she had just done a poo on the carpet, I was crying too from sheer frustration. I sat on my couch with my head in my hands heaving huge jerky sobs and just wishing I could go back to bed. (Or at least crawl into a dark corner and start slammin back the vodkas).
This was the point where mum stepped in and took Miss K off my hands so I could focus on getting ready for work. I had the quickest shower I have ever had, and then raced out the door while wearing my little sister's shoes (I never did manage to figure out where I'd hidden my own shoes until the next morning) and started the long and often terrifying drive to work along some of the most treacherous roads I have ever driven. A trip that normally takes me 15 minutes took an hour and a half of winding, narrow, unfamiliar roads in towns I'd seen on maps but never had the urge to visit for myself.
You'll be pleased to know I made it to work in one piece, and while the office manager was totally unsympathetic to the rough start to my day, my boss was a lot more understanding when we spoke about it the next day. When the freeways were finally reopened and I never had to make that drive ever again. I think the next time the town decides to combust I'll be telling the boss to close the office for the day and just let me go back to sleep.
Well that's all for now, I am off to go share a single bunk bed with a two year old because that's what you do when you visit family for the weekend. Thanks to Spatulas on Parade for my words, especially because I've never been given the opportunity to compare bowel movements to Asian food before, so this was an exciting first for me. Now go on and visit everyone else and enjoy the rest of the festivities.
Thursday, 2 January 2014
New Year Old Me
As always I'm a step behind the rest of the blogging world when it comes to timely posting, but I know you guys will forgive me as always because I'm just that awesome.
So yesterday I wrote about what happened in December 2013, and why it was by far the worst month I've had for a long time. But December was only one month. What did I think about the rest of the year I've just had? To be perfectly honest I can't remember the past 12 months too well, probably because I was just too damn busy to stop and store much in my long term memory, but according to my phone's calendar and photo gallery, below are some of the things I managed to accomplish this year.
I kept Miss K alive for another 12 months
So according to the photos on my phone, the last photo I took of Miss K was on 24th December in the emergency room at Sunshine Hospital while she was driving dangerously. (Luckily if there was an accident we were surrounded by trained professionals.) But according to the lump in her bed she's still very much here so I'm considering that my biggest accomplishment to date. Anyone who has kids will tell you exactly how hard they are to keep safe, with their desire to touch everything they shouldn't touch, and jump off all the things you don't want them to jump off, so every day you can get them to bed in one piece is a win. Miss K and I have had a lot of ups and downs this year, a few major changes to our routines and quite a bit of stress and worry, but she is definitely blossoming into a beautiful child (despite her love of temper tantrums) and not a day goes by when I don't feel proud of her.
I finished my schooling
This one I still remember pretty well (probably because I ended up taking my final exam at McDonalds.) I have since gotten my final results, and while I didn't get a perfect score for the exam, I am pretty sure I got enough to pass the unit and I'll graduate along with everyone else in March. I haven't heard anything from my tutor to say otherwise, so I now just need to sit back and wait for my certificate to show up in the mail. I'm pretty proud to say the least that I managed to stick it out with this course, and I will finally have a piece of paper to show people that I know stuff about things. I still don't know if I'll ever actually use my new qualification outside of taking payments from clients, but at this stage that doesn't really matter as much as the fact that I actually managed to finish something.
I got a job and managed to keep it
So for anyone who saw the post I wrote when I first decided to try going back to work, you will know that the last time I worked for my boss I made it through 6 months before quitting and moving to another town over 100 Km away. (Not because I was scared of my former boss, just because the pickings are richer out west.) Well the 6 month mark came and went in December and I managed to ride out the storm and not quit my job this time. To be fair though I had no intentions of quitting this time, and given that I am older and wiser than I was in 2007 it wasn't hard to stick around this time. The work is still challenging, and I see more horrible things in a week than I ever wanted to see in a life time (such is the way when people start fighting over their children), but my boss is super generous, totally understanding about how hard it is to juggle kids and employment, and brilliant at her job, which makes my job easier. I still have to wear a monkey suit to work every day, and now I've been told I'm not allowed to put my hair in a pony tail while at work, so the demands will never stop, but I'm determined to keep my head down and just keep bringing in the moolah.
I started a business
Yes I am still a business owner, even though things are pretty quiet on the business side of things, but I managed to hit a pretty big sales target that Kaszazz give all new consultants and I'm loving all the perks being afforded to me as a consultant. We have officially gone multi-national so any of my crafty readers out there, check out the link and come see the awesome things you can do with our products. (Ok sales pitch over, I'll go back to being a blogger now.)
I got my teeth fixed
So this one I never blogged about, partly because it was too awful to talk about at the time, and partly because I hate my teeth, so talking about them is never high on my list of things to do. But I did get sick and tired of all the holes and pain so I gave in and visited a dentist. Two extractions and seven fillings later I'm still in pain while I continue to heal, but at least my smile looks normal. There was also one fun visit where the anesthetic wore off before the dentist was finished, and being the scaredy cat I am, I didn't have the nerve to tell her to stop playing with my teeth and drug me up again. That tooth took forever to stop hurting, and there is now a lump on the gum directly above it, so I need to go back to the dentist again this week to get her to check it out, but I'll get my teeth cleaned at the same time so it's not all bad. Seriously guys, brush your teeth every day. It saves you a hell of a lot of pain in the long run.
Miss K started day care
I know I swore black and blue that I would never send my daughter to day care and let strangers take care of her, but as always life had different plans for me. My big sister Sam has valiantly taken care of her for the past 6 months while I went off to work, and she did it without a single complaint (ok that's not entirely true, my daughter is a handful) but the strain of taking care of her own two children plus mine did get a bit much in the end. So I decided for her sake, and also to help Miss K learn to socialize with children who she isn't related to, that the time had come to put her into a program. We had a few weeks of orientation in December, which was actually timed perfectly because they came right after Sam's brother in law died, so she was really too busy taking care of her own family and didn't need the worry of Miss K as well. Orientation went super smoothly and Miss K is loving going to day care two days a week. She starts again on the 6th of this month while I'm still on holidays so if anything goes wrong I'm still close enough to deal with it for the first week. Sam's baby is starting school this year as well, so she won't know herself, being totally child free while Miss K is in day care, but she'll still get her one day a week, plus pick ups the rest of the time, so she won't be totally deprived of her time with Miss K. (Her words not mine)
I met long lost family members
So again this is something I didn't discuss at the time, but I actually got to meet one of my big sisters for the first time. I've mentioned before that my dad had 5 children with a previous wife, and I had met all of them except one. Well the Gods of fortune smiled on us this year and nearly 20 years after I met the first of my half brothers and sisters, I finally met the last one. The meeting was strange to say the least, as I could see the similarities that come with sharing a genetic bond, but given that her and her brothers and sisters were fed lies about our family their whole lives, things were slightly strained at first while we tried to figure each other out. But my big sister and her partner are lovely ladies, and great mums and I am proud to be able to say I now know them. Miss K also got to meet a missing link in her family tree when Ady and his father finally reconnected after I don't know how many years of being estranged, and things there are going great. We make sure to pop in to visit him every month while we're down visiting Nonna, and while she has no idea we have anything to do with him (Ady hasn't gotten up the nerve to tell her and I refuse to get involved), it is lovely watching him develop a relationship with his only grandchild. He spoils her absolutely rotten any chance he gets, but he also genuinely loves her. He drives trams for a living, and lives very close to the route he drives, so any time a tram passes us as we walk down the street, they stop where they are so they can meet Miss K. It's fun watching my daughter disrupt Melbourne traffic and get away with it. If only she knew exactly how much power she held.
I made some wonderful blogging friends
So for anyone who has read anything before this blog, you'll know I have a blog crush on Karen from Baking in a Tornado. This lady just comes up with the best ideas for blogging, and I look forward to taking part in her blog series every chance I get. I get three chances this month, so I'm over the moon excited right now. But she certainly isn't the only wonderful blogger I've had the joy to cross paths with this year. From Vanessa at Babbling Bandit who writes about her daily struggles with depression with such raw honesty you can't help but feel her pain, to Stephanie at The Pursuit of Normal who makes me feel so much better about my own screw ups, and everyone else I have spoken to this year, (there are too many to mention), I will just say you ladies are all wonderful, and your writing has touched me so much over the year, so thank you.
Well I think that's a pretty good year. I'm sure other things happened too, but if I really gave you a play by play of the entire year, we'd be here until 2015 so I'll leave you now with my absolute favourite photo of 2013, Miss K as a fairy.
So yesterday I wrote about what happened in December 2013, and why it was by far the worst month I've had for a long time. But December was only one month. What did I think about the rest of the year I've just had? To be perfectly honest I can't remember the past 12 months too well, probably because I was just too damn busy to stop and store much in my long term memory, but according to my phone's calendar and photo gallery, below are some of the things I managed to accomplish this year.
I kept Miss K alive for another 12 months
So according to the photos on my phone, the last photo I took of Miss K was on 24th December in the emergency room at Sunshine Hospital while she was driving dangerously. (Luckily if there was an accident we were surrounded by trained professionals.) But according to the lump in her bed she's still very much here so I'm considering that my biggest accomplishment to date. Anyone who has kids will tell you exactly how hard they are to keep safe, with their desire to touch everything they shouldn't touch, and jump off all the things you don't want them to jump off, so every day you can get them to bed in one piece is a win. Miss K and I have had a lot of ups and downs this year, a few major changes to our routines and quite a bit of stress and worry, but she is definitely blossoming into a beautiful child (despite her love of temper tantrums) and not a day goes by when I don't feel proud of her.
I finished my schooling
This one I still remember pretty well (probably because I ended up taking my final exam at McDonalds.) I have since gotten my final results, and while I didn't get a perfect score for the exam, I am pretty sure I got enough to pass the unit and I'll graduate along with everyone else in March. I haven't heard anything from my tutor to say otherwise, so I now just need to sit back and wait for my certificate to show up in the mail. I'm pretty proud to say the least that I managed to stick it out with this course, and I will finally have a piece of paper to show people that I know stuff about things. I still don't know if I'll ever actually use my new qualification outside of taking payments from clients, but at this stage that doesn't really matter as much as the fact that I actually managed to finish something.
I got a job and managed to keep it
So for anyone who saw the post I wrote when I first decided to try going back to work, you will know that the last time I worked for my boss I made it through 6 months before quitting and moving to another town over 100 Km away. (Not because I was scared of my former boss, just because the pickings are richer out west.) Well the 6 month mark came and went in December and I managed to ride out the storm and not quit my job this time. To be fair though I had no intentions of quitting this time, and given that I am older and wiser than I was in 2007 it wasn't hard to stick around this time. The work is still challenging, and I see more horrible things in a week than I ever wanted to see in a life time (such is the way when people start fighting over their children), but my boss is super generous, totally understanding about how hard it is to juggle kids and employment, and brilliant at her job, which makes my job easier. I still have to wear a monkey suit to work every day, and now I've been told I'm not allowed to put my hair in a pony tail while at work, so the demands will never stop, but I'm determined to keep my head down and just keep bringing in the moolah.
I started a business
Yes I am still a business owner, even though things are pretty quiet on the business side of things, but I managed to hit a pretty big sales target that Kaszazz give all new consultants and I'm loving all the perks being afforded to me as a consultant. We have officially gone multi-national so any of my crafty readers out there, check out the link and come see the awesome things you can do with our products. (Ok sales pitch over, I'll go back to being a blogger now.)
I got my teeth fixed
So this one I never blogged about, partly because it was too awful to talk about at the time, and partly because I hate my teeth, so talking about them is never high on my list of things to do. But I did get sick and tired of all the holes and pain so I gave in and visited a dentist. Two extractions and seven fillings later I'm still in pain while I continue to heal, but at least my smile looks normal. There was also one fun visit where the anesthetic wore off before the dentist was finished, and being the scaredy cat I am, I didn't have the nerve to tell her to stop playing with my teeth and drug me up again. That tooth took forever to stop hurting, and there is now a lump on the gum directly above it, so I need to go back to the dentist again this week to get her to check it out, but I'll get my teeth cleaned at the same time so it's not all bad. Seriously guys, brush your teeth every day. It saves you a hell of a lot of pain in the long run.
Miss K started day care
I know I swore black and blue that I would never send my daughter to day care and let strangers take care of her, but as always life had different plans for me. My big sister Sam has valiantly taken care of her for the past 6 months while I went off to work, and she did it without a single complaint (ok that's not entirely true, my daughter is a handful) but the strain of taking care of her own two children plus mine did get a bit much in the end. So I decided for her sake, and also to help Miss K learn to socialize with children who she isn't related to, that the time had come to put her into a program. We had a few weeks of orientation in December, which was actually timed perfectly because they came right after Sam's brother in law died, so she was really too busy taking care of her own family and didn't need the worry of Miss K as well. Orientation went super smoothly and Miss K is loving going to day care two days a week. She starts again on the 6th of this month while I'm still on holidays so if anything goes wrong I'm still close enough to deal with it for the first week. Sam's baby is starting school this year as well, so she won't know herself, being totally child free while Miss K is in day care, but she'll still get her one day a week, plus pick ups the rest of the time, so she won't be totally deprived of her time with Miss K. (Her words not mine)
I met long lost family members
So again this is something I didn't discuss at the time, but I actually got to meet one of my big sisters for the first time. I've mentioned before that my dad had 5 children with a previous wife, and I had met all of them except one. Well the Gods of fortune smiled on us this year and nearly 20 years after I met the first of my half brothers and sisters, I finally met the last one. The meeting was strange to say the least, as I could see the similarities that come with sharing a genetic bond, but given that her and her brothers and sisters were fed lies about our family their whole lives, things were slightly strained at first while we tried to figure each other out. But my big sister and her partner are lovely ladies, and great mums and I am proud to be able to say I now know them. Miss K also got to meet a missing link in her family tree when Ady and his father finally reconnected after I don't know how many years of being estranged, and things there are going great. We make sure to pop in to visit him every month while we're down visiting Nonna, and while she has no idea we have anything to do with him (Ady hasn't gotten up the nerve to tell her and I refuse to get involved), it is lovely watching him develop a relationship with his only grandchild. He spoils her absolutely rotten any chance he gets, but he also genuinely loves her. He drives trams for a living, and lives very close to the route he drives, so any time a tram passes us as we walk down the street, they stop where they are so they can meet Miss K. It's fun watching my daughter disrupt Melbourne traffic and get away with it. If only she knew exactly how much power she held.
I made some wonderful blogging friends
So for anyone who has read anything before this blog, you'll know I have a blog crush on Karen from Baking in a Tornado. This lady just comes up with the best ideas for blogging, and I look forward to taking part in her blog series every chance I get. I get three chances this month, so I'm over the moon excited right now. But she certainly isn't the only wonderful blogger I've had the joy to cross paths with this year. From Vanessa at Babbling Bandit who writes about her daily struggles with depression with such raw honesty you can't help but feel her pain, to Stephanie at The Pursuit of Normal who makes me feel so much better about my own screw ups, and everyone else I have spoken to this year, (there are too many to mention), I will just say you ladies are all wonderful, and your writing has touched me so much over the year, so thank you.
Well I think that's a pretty good year. I'm sure other things happened too, but if I really gave you a play by play of the entire year, we'd be here until 2015 so I'll leave you now with my absolute favourite photo of 2013, Miss K as a fairy.
Thursday, 22 August 2013
The chair killing bottom strikes again and other stories
Hello again people, I know it's been waaay too long between posts, but I've been slowly trying to get into a groove between work and home, and that sadly leaves very little time for extra curricular activities like sharing with you guys. But I'm still here, and things are still going well, and hopefully I will have more to share with you wonderful and patient people soon, especially about my current downsizing. I've been having a huge cull, and have taken the mantra "if you're not going to use it then get rid of it" to extremes by trying to use up a heap of my craft stash so I don't have to throw it away. I'll have more on that as soon as I remember to charge the batteries in my camera so I can take pictures.
So for a bit of a back story, and for anyone who doesn't know how deadly my backside can be to a common chair, check out this post here which goes into details of chairs that I have killed in the past. Well this week my butt struck again, destroying my office chair at work. Now this time I can't blame sitting on my feet, which is my excuse for most other chairs I've broken (that and shoddy workmanship when building the chairs) as I can't sit on my feet at work. First it is incredibly bad OH&S so I'd get into heaps of trouble, and second I can't operate the dictation machine unless my feet are on the ground. But I have gotten into the terrible habit of throwing myself into my chair while at work, usually because I'm insanely busy, and I don't have time to sit down like a lady, so a lot of my day is spent just diving onto the chair as quickly as possible so I can do the mile long to-do list the boss has just given me before I forget any of it. Sadly the standard office chair is not designed to be used in such a manner, and my poor chair has been creaking and groaning at me for several weeks now, so I had a feeling that what happened this week was really inevitable, but it still came as a shock when it finally happened.
It was close to the end of the day, which happens to be the worst time to work in a law firm. That's usually the time when my boss checks over the correspondence for the day, and signs the letters that are good to go out, and returns the ones that need corrections done. So I usually have a massive pile of letters that need to be folded and stuffed into envelopes, another massive pile of letters that need adjustments before they can be signed, stuffed and posted, and yesterday I had a handful of people I had to call to reschedule their appointments because there had been a massive double booking in today's calendar. So needless to say I was incredibly frazzled, and not very worried about being delicate with the office furniture. But this time when I flounced to my desk and threw myself down, my poor chair decided it had had enough, so there was a huge crack sound, followed by a very unprofessional scream from me as I jumped up to save landing ass first on the ground. My office manager happened to be standing next to me when I decided to go all Incredible Hulk on the chair too, so I couldn't even hide the fact that I was destroying the office in front of her. Of course she was more concerned about me than the chair, but I explained that I was so used to chairs breaking underneath me I wasn't even scratched. (Gotta love ninja like reflexes at times like these.)
I inspected the chair and found that one of the five legs had snapped clean off and escaped somewhere to enjoy its new found freedom. I still can't find the leg so it has done a good job of falling off the grid. I just hope the boss doesn't find it on one of her random trips to the front office because then I'll have some explaining to do. Of course if she notices I'm using one of the crappy spare chairs I'll still have some explaining to do, so I can only pray she's too distracted for the next few weeks to start asking any uncomfortable questions. Of course if she does find out about my amazing skills of destruction, I could use it as a bargaining tool in the future. I'll start threatening to break all the chairs in the place simply by sitting down unless I get a longer lunch break, or a higher rate of pay. (Of course she could just use my pay rise to fund the replacement of every chair in the place.) In the meantime I may just start looking at the office catalogs to see if any of the office supply stores in the area sell steel reinforced chairs for flouncers like me.
And so with that I've had to say RIP to yet another brave chair, it tried its best to support my ample frame, but the stress was just too much. Memorial services will be held this Friday, and we ask that instead of buying flowers, you donate the money to the science of finding a chair that I cannot break.
So for a bit of a back story, and for anyone who doesn't know how deadly my backside can be to a common chair, check out this post here which goes into details of chairs that I have killed in the past. Well this week my butt struck again, destroying my office chair at work. Now this time I can't blame sitting on my feet, which is my excuse for most other chairs I've broken (that and shoddy workmanship when building the chairs) as I can't sit on my feet at work. First it is incredibly bad OH&S so I'd get into heaps of trouble, and second I can't operate the dictation machine unless my feet are on the ground. But I have gotten into the terrible habit of throwing myself into my chair while at work, usually because I'm insanely busy, and I don't have time to sit down like a lady, so a lot of my day is spent just diving onto the chair as quickly as possible so I can do the mile long to-do list the boss has just given me before I forget any of it. Sadly the standard office chair is not designed to be used in such a manner, and my poor chair has been creaking and groaning at me for several weeks now, so I had a feeling that what happened this week was really inevitable, but it still came as a shock when it finally happened.
It was close to the end of the day, which happens to be the worst time to work in a law firm. That's usually the time when my boss checks over the correspondence for the day, and signs the letters that are good to go out, and returns the ones that need corrections done. So I usually have a massive pile of letters that need to be folded and stuffed into envelopes, another massive pile of letters that need adjustments before they can be signed, stuffed and posted, and yesterday I had a handful of people I had to call to reschedule their appointments because there had been a massive double booking in today's calendar. So needless to say I was incredibly frazzled, and not very worried about being delicate with the office furniture. But this time when I flounced to my desk and threw myself down, my poor chair decided it had had enough, so there was a huge crack sound, followed by a very unprofessional scream from me as I jumped up to save landing ass first on the ground. My office manager happened to be standing next to me when I decided to go all Incredible Hulk on the chair too, so I couldn't even hide the fact that I was destroying the office in front of her. Of course she was more concerned about me than the chair, but I explained that I was so used to chairs breaking underneath me I wasn't even scratched. (Gotta love ninja like reflexes at times like these.)
I inspected the chair and found that one of the five legs had snapped clean off and escaped somewhere to enjoy its new found freedom. I still can't find the leg so it has done a good job of falling off the grid. I just hope the boss doesn't find it on one of her random trips to the front office because then I'll have some explaining to do. Of course if she notices I'm using one of the crappy spare chairs I'll still have some explaining to do, so I can only pray she's too distracted for the next few weeks to start asking any uncomfortable questions. Of course if she does find out about my amazing skills of destruction, I could use it as a bargaining tool in the future. I'll start threatening to break all the chairs in the place simply by sitting down unless I get a longer lunch break, or a higher rate of pay. (Of course she could just use my pay rise to fund the replacement of every chair in the place.) In the meantime I may just start looking at the office catalogs to see if any of the office supply stores in the area sell steel reinforced chairs for flouncers like me.
And so with that I've had to say RIP to yet another brave chair, it tried its best to support my ample frame, but the stress was just too much. Memorial services will be held this Friday, and we ask that instead of buying flowers, you donate the money to the science of finding a chair that I cannot break.
Oh the humanity!
Sunday, 28 July 2013
Discrimination or genuine concern
I promise I'm still here guys. I'm still alive and kicking (just barely some days). I am actually writing this to you from in the middle of a circus. (A metaphorical one anyway.) My sister in law and her daughter are camping out at our house at the moment, there are dramas going on with the house they live in with my little brother, so we've taken them in for a few days until some stupid paper work can get sorted out and they can return to their house. (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate bureaucracy?) Given that my niece is only 3 months older than Miss K, it's been good having a friend in the house for her to play with that is so close in age to her. Of course given that they are both only 2 and still learning about the delicate art of sharing, (something they both hate as they get royally screwed any time they have to share anything) we've had a fair few dust ups the past few days, but for the most part they get on really well.
Movie time. I was hoping they would actually go to sleep but no such luck.
So the point of today's post wasn't just to talk about the babies, it was actually to share something that happened to me at work last week. Yes I'm still employed, and according to my boss I'm doing a good job. But she still felt the need to call a staff meeting last Wednesday before we turned on the phones for the day and rush hour began. I was terrified that I was going to be given my marching orders, and had been since the day before when she locked herself and the office manager in her office for five minutes without me. I knew something big was coming and I spent the whole of Tuesday wracking my brains trying to remember anything I had done that was bad enough to get myself fired. Luckily for me I wasn't about to face the firing squad (ba boom) but there were a few things the boss wanted to bring up. One was I needed to tidy up the place a bit more, this one didn't surprise me, I hate housework so I avoid it at all costs, but I'll cop that one on the chin. The second one was that I smell like cigarette smoke. That one doesn't surprise me, my boss is a militant anti-smoker and a health nut to boot. I am very aware of the cigarette smoke, but considering I am unable to douse myself in perfumes at the office because she is also allergic to a lot of the chemicals found in deodorants and perfumes there aren't a lot of options for me. I'm still determined to quit smoking for good and this may give me the boot up the backside to go the last few yards.
But the third and possibly strangest part of this meeting was the one where she disapproved of my work outfits. Now it wasn't strange that she didn't like my attire at work (I've had that complaint at several places that I work. I hate shirts, being so ample in the front and all, I find it difficult to find shirts that fit nicely all over so I tend to not bother wearing them at all.) Her solution was the strange part of the day, and the part I still shake my head over even four days after the fact. Normally when a boss tells me to change my work outfits, they do so with much hemming and hawing and looking at the floor. (Mainly because most of my bosses have been men who find talking about women's outfits about as comfortable as discussing their emotions.) but then they walk out of the meeting patting themselves on the back for being so tactful and leaving me to figure out exactly what the hell it is they want me to wear. But with my current boss, her solution was to have the office manager take us shopping to a local office clothing store down the road from where we work and pick out my new uniform with me. And then she paid for it.
On one hand I'm totally grateful that the boss was picking up the tab on this excursion, especially given that one new jacket, one pair of trousers and four new tops (the office manager grabbed two for herself) cost a whopping $500. But on the other hand I can't help but feel the entire process was entirely wasteful. I nearly fainted when the shop assistant tallied up the final bill, and I don't even know if that price includes the tailoring they need to do to my new trousers. (I am what the office manager calls incredibly short, but I call midget, so I always need new pants taken up.) They will quite possibly need to do the same to my new jacket when it finally comes in, and then we are getting the office logo embroidered on all the tops. It will all look very professional and when I am in the office, we will look like we have a uniform especially with the office manager and I dressing alike now, but I don't know what if anything this new look is going to accomplish except to tear me away from my nice warm duffel coat. (It is pink which happens to be the least favourite colour of my current boss, and I suspect the whole reason this make over happened in the first place.)
Now the boss was very careful in holding this meeting. She made sure that the office manager was in the room with us so that there was a witness to the whole proceedings (gotta love solicitors for preparing for the worst case scenario at all times) and she was very tactful (or as tactful as a no nonsense solicitor can ever be) about the whole thing, but it still stung. It still felt like I was being told I wasn't good enough just as I am. I have never put much stock into my appearance, and even less goes into it now that I have Miss K. My motto has always been as long as it's clean it's all good. The fact that I manage to put make up on every morning before I go to work is nothing short of a miracle for me these days. I have always thought my performance on the job mattered more than my appearance, but apparently this isn't the case any more. I don't know if I can even get enthusiastic about clothes any more, because they just mean more work when it comes to laundry day. (especially if the jacket is dry clean only.) But it looks like I'm going to have to fake it at the very least because my successful passing of the probation period now rests on my ability to smarten up my appearance.
So I am trying. I bought myself some new gel nail polishes, I may even invest in a new eye shadow and lipstick, and this week I am going to book an appointment at the best hairdressers in town. (The fact that she has been my hairdresser since I was ten makes her the best.) And then I am going to go to work and pretend that I don't feel like mutton dressed as lamb. And hopefully that will be enough to make the boss happy and keep my backside in a job for a little while longer. I'll keep you posted.
Image courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net
Mutton dressed as...well mutton
Saturday, 29 June 2013
First week as a working mum
So I had a feeling it would be some time before I felt I had enough energy to come back to you guys, and I wasn't wrong. So first before I get to the point of today's post, a quick update on the little things that have happened this week.
Miss K got over her gastro after about five days. We only had spewing for three of those days, and yuck nappies for another day. She has now been clever enough to catch a cold on my first day off, so I've been dealing with snot these past three days, which while still gross is a lot easier on my sensitive gag reflex. Her dad has split up with his girlfriend and moved back to his mother's house in Melbourne, (no huge surprises there, I've been predicting this would happen for about 2 weeks now.) so we're back to square one when it comes to his visits. We missed speech therapy last week, because of her stomach bug, but we were back again this week and she is improving with such speed it is wonderful to watch. I now need to go out and buy her a few jigsaw puzzles, because she played with some at speech therapy and was so good at it, I feel it's something we need to bring into the house. Miss K is also adjusting brilliantly to spending so much time at her aunty's house, possibly because she has so much fun there. This week alone they went toy shopping, visited my nephew's kindergarten and went to a cafe for lunch. There have been no tantrums when I leave for work, no tears or clinging or anything negative at all. I get a wave and a kiss and she returns to playing. It has definitely made returning to work a lot easier that she is so OK with me not being around all the time. Also knowing that she is in the best place possible means I don't spend the day worrying if she is OK. Of course this week may be different given she is unwell, but I've already been reassured that a sticky green nose isn't a problem.
Now on to the point of today's post. I've been back at work for three days now, and when I thought about going back to work, I always thought the hardest part of the whole process would be leaving Miss K behind. It turns out that was the easiest part. I know I should be going easy on myself as I've been out of the workforce for three years now, but I suck at my job. It has been so long since I've been this bad at my work and it feels terrible. Once upon a time I used to put a lot of stock into the fact that I could learn new jobs fairly quickly, which made being a temp worker a breeze. In fact the first time I got this job it started as a temporary assignment when one of their secretaries up and quit very quickly, and I was so good at the job she asked me to stay on once the contract was finished. It was probably a huge risk for her, given I had next to zero experience working in a solicitor's office, but she gave me the chance and I was grateful for it.
Well she's taken another huge risk taking me back again, for several reasons. The first being the last time I worked there I unceremoniously quit after 6 months, staying only long enough to train a new secretary to take my place, and two I've spent the last three years ignoring the many things I've learnt while working over the past ten years in lieu of tea parties and dirty nappies. And I'm paying for it now. I don't remember where they keep all the legal documents, I can't remember the process for filing things with the court, I had forgotten the security pass for the front door and locked myself out the first day I was there, and I am so very, very slow at completing my work right now. When I left there the last time, I was able to get through a basket of dictation in a day. This week it took me three days to get through a basket. But on the plus side I started a second basket on Wednesday, and managed to get through almost half of it by the end of the day. So I guess you could say I'm getting better, but it's going to take quite some time to get back to my former quality of work. Luckily for me my boss is completely understanding of my position, and is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt when it comes to what I am able to do (or will be able to do eventually.) It just means that for now she checks absolutely everything I do before she allows it to leave the office, which I am totally fine with.
So we are back to playing the wait and see game. I now have to wait and see how long it takes to get good at this job again, I have to wait and see if Miss K is going to be as happy to be left at her favourite aunty's house for three days in a row this week, and I have to wait and see if my big sister finally comes to her senses and realises that my darling daughter is Dennis the Menace in disguise and decides to start pretending she's not at home whenever we come over first thing in the morning. But in the mean time I do have to say how very grateful I am that I have so many people around who are so happy to turn their lives upside down so that I can get what I want. Especially my big sister and her whole family, who have suddenly become cured of any last hints of cluckiness in the past week. There is not a bunch of flowers big enough to say how thankful I am for their help.
Miss K got over her gastro after about five days. We only had spewing for three of those days, and yuck nappies for another day. She has now been clever enough to catch a cold on my first day off, so I've been dealing with snot these past three days, which while still gross is a lot easier on my sensitive gag reflex. Her dad has split up with his girlfriend and moved back to his mother's house in Melbourne, (no huge surprises there, I've been predicting this would happen for about 2 weeks now.) so we're back to square one when it comes to his visits. We missed speech therapy last week, because of her stomach bug, but we were back again this week and she is improving with such speed it is wonderful to watch. I now need to go out and buy her a few jigsaw puzzles, because she played with some at speech therapy and was so good at it, I feel it's something we need to bring into the house. Miss K is also adjusting brilliantly to spending so much time at her aunty's house, possibly because she has so much fun there. This week alone they went toy shopping, visited my nephew's kindergarten and went to a cafe for lunch. There have been no tantrums when I leave for work, no tears or clinging or anything negative at all. I get a wave and a kiss and she returns to playing. It has definitely made returning to work a lot easier that she is so OK with me not being around all the time. Also knowing that she is in the best place possible means I don't spend the day worrying if she is OK. Of course this week may be different given she is unwell, but I've already been reassured that a sticky green nose isn't a problem.
Now on to the point of today's post. I've been back at work for three days now, and when I thought about going back to work, I always thought the hardest part of the whole process would be leaving Miss K behind. It turns out that was the easiest part. I know I should be going easy on myself as I've been out of the workforce for three years now, but I suck at my job. It has been so long since I've been this bad at my work and it feels terrible. Once upon a time I used to put a lot of stock into the fact that I could learn new jobs fairly quickly, which made being a temp worker a breeze. In fact the first time I got this job it started as a temporary assignment when one of their secretaries up and quit very quickly, and I was so good at the job she asked me to stay on once the contract was finished. It was probably a huge risk for her, given I had next to zero experience working in a solicitor's office, but she gave me the chance and I was grateful for it.
Well she's taken another huge risk taking me back again, for several reasons. The first being the last time I worked there I unceremoniously quit after 6 months, staying only long enough to train a new secretary to take my place, and two I've spent the last three years ignoring the many things I've learnt while working over the past ten years in lieu of tea parties and dirty nappies. And I'm paying for it now. I don't remember where they keep all the legal documents, I can't remember the process for filing things with the court, I had forgotten the security pass for the front door and locked myself out the first day I was there, and I am so very, very slow at completing my work right now. When I left there the last time, I was able to get through a basket of dictation in a day. This week it took me three days to get through a basket. But on the plus side I started a second basket on Wednesday, and managed to get through almost half of it by the end of the day. So I guess you could say I'm getting better, but it's going to take quite some time to get back to my former quality of work. Luckily for me my boss is completely understanding of my position, and is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt when it comes to what I am able to do (or will be able to do eventually.) It just means that for now she checks absolutely everything I do before she allows it to leave the office, which I am totally fine with.
So we are back to playing the wait and see game. I now have to wait and see how long it takes to get good at this job again, I have to wait and see if Miss K is going to be as happy to be left at her favourite aunty's house for three days in a row this week, and I have to wait and see if my big sister finally comes to her senses and realises that my darling daughter is Dennis the Menace in disguise and decides to start pretending she's not at home whenever we come over first thing in the morning. But in the mean time I do have to say how very grateful I am that I have so many people around who are so happy to turn their lives upside down so that I can get what I want. Especially my big sister and her whole family, who have suddenly become cured of any last hints of cluckiness in the past week. There is not a bunch of flowers big enough to say how thankful I am for their help.
photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
Would a field of flowers be enough? probably not.
Thursday, 13 June 2013
Gainfully employed
Ok so I have actually been sitting on this news for over 12 hours now, but I had to make sure I told all the important people in person before shouting it out over the internet, but I have a job! I got the call at 9:30 this morning letting me know. So apologies to all of you who have been sitting here all day waiting for the good news.
Now I don't know if any of you believe in serendipity, or karma, or even guardian angels, but someone was certainly looking out for me today, because I got the three days work I asked for, a higher salary offer than I could have hoped for, and a week and a half to prepare for my return to work. Apparently the person they were interviewing after me was happy having two days work per week, and was also happy to take the days I didn't want, so I still get to attend all of Miss K's group therapy sessions, and I can still schedule doctors appointments, eye specialist appointments and any other appointments so that I can attend them all. Can anyone else say super psyched?? And also, thanks to having the best big sister in the world, I don't have to ship Miss K off to daycare, as she will be taken care of in the comfort of her favourite aunty's house surrounded by people she knows, loves and trusts. It all just seems too good to be true.
I'm still nervous as all hell, as this is something I've never ever even thought of trying before, and there is still so much that the next few months hold that I can't even prepare myself for, because I don't know what is going to happen. All I can do is hope that Miss K copes with the transition to being babysat three days a week, and I cope with being separated from her for the longest time I have ever tried since she was born. I've not admitted to anyone that my biggest fear is missing my baby. Not that she won't cope without me, not that she'll forget me, but that I won't cope without her. I know I complain about how hard being a mum is, and I roll my eyes occasionally when she starts whinging at me for drinks, but truth be told I need that little girl just as much as she needs me. As demanding as she is, and as weird as she is at times, (and trust me, Miss K has the market cornered in weird.) my baby is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. (Mainly because before she was born I used to sleep in until lunch time, but let's not split hairs here.)
So wish me luck guys, because I'm going to need it. Especially when it comes to remembering that adult's don't appreciate it as much as kids do when you spontaneously start dancing around like an idiot.
Now I don't know if any of you believe in serendipity, or karma, or even guardian angels, but someone was certainly looking out for me today, because I got the three days work I asked for, a higher salary offer than I could have hoped for, and a week and a half to prepare for my return to work. Apparently the person they were interviewing after me was happy having two days work per week, and was also happy to take the days I didn't want, so I still get to attend all of Miss K's group therapy sessions, and I can still schedule doctors appointments, eye specialist appointments and any other appointments so that I can attend them all. Can anyone else say super psyched?? And also, thanks to having the best big sister in the world, I don't have to ship Miss K off to daycare, as she will be taken care of in the comfort of her favourite aunty's house surrounded by people she knows, loves and trusts. It all just seems too good to be true.
I'm still nervous as all hell, as this is something I've never ever even thought of trying before, and there is still so much that the next few months hold that I can't even prepare myself for, because I don't know what is going to happen. All I can do is hope that Miss K copes with the transition to being babysat three days a week, and I cope with being separated from her for the longest time I have ever tried since she was born. I've not admitted to anyone that my biggest fear is missing my baby. Not that she won't cope without me, not that she'll forget me, but that I won't cope without her. I know I complain about how hard being a mum is, and I roll my eyes occasionally when she starts whinging at me for drinks, but truth be told I need that little girl just as much as she needs me. As demanding as she is, and as weird as she is at times, (and trust me, Miss K has the market cornered in weird.) my baby is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. (Mainly because before she was born I used to sleep in until lunch time, but let's not split hairs here.)
So wish me luck guys, because I'm going to need it. Especially when it comes to remembering that adult's don't appreciate it as much as kids do when you spontaneously start dancing around like an idiot.
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
They also don't appreciate spandex, but then again who does?
Wednesday, 12 June 2013
Cautious optimism
Hello again everyone and welcome to my lair. For anyone who has been waiting with baited breath since my last post, my job interview was today. Given my long history with this solicitor I knew it would be the most relaxed interview I'd ever been to, and I was not wrong. Of course that doesn't mean it wasn't a job interview, I still had to answer questions, (including that awful one I always get asked, "Where do you see yourself in five years?") You could say given how well I knew the women who were interrogating me, it would have been an easy interview. Well it was, but at the same time it wasn't.
You see this woman has worked with me before, so she knows what I'm like. She knows that I love to talk, I don't handle yelling very well, and I can fall to pieces fairly easy. So when I get asked a question like "If a client calls up and yells at you, are you going to call me on my day off in tears again crying because you can't cope?" it's a bit hard to put my best face forward. (And yes I really did do that the last time I worked there.)
Basically it was my job today to prove to her that I wasn't too rusty from being out of work for over three years, and also that I have grown and matured enough to be able to cope with the high stress of working for a divorce solicitor. The rusty part was easy to prove. You see one of my most appealing skills as a secretary was my typing speed. Thanks to my dad forcing me to learn touch typing when I was 11 I can type fast enough to take dictation well. So I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons she hired me the first time. Today I had to type out a dictated letter for her, and I know for a fact I aced that part of the interview. Apparently I was the first person to have gotten 100% on the typing test, but I did have an advantage there given I'm familiar with her work.
As for reassuring her that I've grown, matured and am ready to come back to work, I think I did that too. In her words I'm the most ideal candidate so far, the only problem is I don't really want to work full time. That's really not a problem for her, the problem for her is whether or not she can find someone else willing to job share with me. Of course I told her that if it came to it, I'd be prepared to go back to work full time, even temporarily at this stage, but I don't know for how long. Already I need an hour off every Thursday for Miss K's speech therapy group, then there will be optometrists appointments, eye specialist appointments, other family emergencies I'm sure, you get the picture. Already I have been given the impression that taking a day off because Miss K has a cold is unacceptable, but I totally understand why. The thing I need to figure out is how much am I prepared to put to the side in the name of work.
I'm getting this job for Miss K's sake (as well as my own). I'm doing it so that we can have a nice life, full of nice things and no stress about whether to pay the bills or buy food this week. But can I really say it's for Miss K's sake if she goes without her mum when she really needs her, so that I can go out and play with the big people all day? I guess I won't really know for certain until it happens, but I can tell you now, this would be a huge learning experience for me. One I hope I'm ready for. Already I learned today that she cannot be bribed with wine and chocolate, so that's always good to know for future reference. (Yes I did offer a bribe, no I wasn't serious, yes she knows I was joking.)
So now I play the waiting game. I should hear something by the end of the week, so for anyone who knows me, don't be surprised if I spend the next three days jumping every time the phone rings. Hopefully very soon you'll be reading the work of a working mum. Or I'll fall completely off the map being too exhausted to even think straight and you guys might need to send out a search party. Either way we'll have fun.
Wish me luck...
You see this woman has worked with me before, so she knows what I'm like. She knows that I love to talk, I don't handle yelling very well, and I can fall to pieces fairly easy. So when I get asked a question like "If a client calls up and yells at you, are you going to call me on my day off in tears again crying because you can't cope?" it's a bit hard to put my best face forward. (And yes I really did do that the last time I worked there.)
Basically it was my job today to prove to her that I wasn't too rusty from being out of work for over three years, and also that I have grown and matured enough to be able to cope with the high stress of working for a divorce solicitor. The rusty part was easy to prove. You see one of my most appealing skills as a secretary was my typing speed. Thanks to my dad forcing me to learn touch typing when I was 11 I can type fast enough to take dictation well. So I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons she hired me the first time. Today I had to type out a dictated letter for her, and I know for a fact I aced that part of the interview. Apparently I was the first person to have gotten 100% on the typing test, but I did have an advantage there given I'm familiar with her work.
As for reassuring her that I've grown, matured and am ready to come back to work, I think I did that too. In her words I'm the most ideal candidate so far, the only problem is I don't really want to work full time. That's really not a problem for her, the problem for her is whether or not she can find someone else willing to job share with me. Of course I told her that if it came to it, I'd be prepared to go back to work full time, even temporarily at this stage, but I don't know for how long. Already I need an hour off every Thursday for Miss K's speech therapy group, then there will be optometrists appointments, eye specialist appointments, other family emergencies I'm sure, you get the picture. Already I have been given the impression that taking a day off because Miss K has a cold is unacceptable, but I totally understand why. The thing I need to figure out is how much am I prepared to put to the side in the name of work.
I'm getting this job for Miss K's sake (as well as my own). I'm doing it so that we can have a nice life, full of nice things and no stress about whether to pay the bills or buy food this week. But can I really say it's for Miss K's sake if she goes without her mum when she really needs her, so that I can go out and play with the big people all day? I guess I won't really know for certain until it happens, but I can tell you now, this would be a huge learning experience for me. One I hope I'm ready for. Already I learned today that she cannot be bribed with wine and chocolate, so that's always good to know for future reference. (Yes I did offer a bribe, no I wasn't serious, yes she knows I was joking.)
So now I play the waiting game. I should hear something by the end of the week, so for anyone who knows me, don't be surprised if I spend the next three days jumping every time the phone rings. Hopefully very soon you'll be reading the work of a working mum. Or I'll fall completely off the map being too exhausted to even think straight and you guys might need to send out a search party. Either way we'll have fun.
Wish me luck...
Saturday, 8 June 2013
Am I completely insane?
Hello again wonderful people that make up my audience, I am back again. I've had a nice little break from writing (actually it was terrible. I missed writing and I missed talking with you guys) but fear not because the holiday is over and I finally have something to say. First of all I have been very relieved over the past few days of stalking reading other blogs online to find out I have not been the only one filled with blog ennui (otherwise known as writers block). For any of my fellow bloggers in Australia, I have a feeling it is the onset of winter that has us feeling uninspired and full of meh. I spend my days enviously reading all of my American blogs filled with summer activities and warm weather and I just want to pack my bag and move north. But given I have a job interview on Tuesday any plans to move will have to be put on hold for now.
That's right, a job interview. I thought I'd just sneak that one in and see if you guys noticed. Once upon a time, (or in 2007 if my old resume is anything to go by) I used to work for a local solicitor as one of her secretaries. The work was fast paced and pretty challenging for someone who hadn't done anything like dictation or writing up legal documents before, but the thing that made me quit was all the horrible stories I heard while working there. There's nothing like listening to everyone's divorce and custody stories to put you in a bad mood every single day. So I quit the job after 6 months and moved to Melbourne to work in yet another call centre. (I can't remember exactly how many call centre's I've worked in, but needless to say it's a lot.) Well fast forward 5 years to when I'm going through my own custody battle, and the only solicitor I wanted to represent me was my former boss. Given I had insider's knowledge to how she works, I knew that she was my best bet for ensuring that Miss K's needs were the main consideration in any custody agreements.
Well we never ended up going to court or even writing up any custody agreements, and Miss K's dad and I ended up sorting everything out on our own, but I did learn from my solicitor that a job would be coming up in her office soon. She told me the job was mine if I wanted to come back, and to my surprise I said yes. Well this was over 7 months ago, and I never heard anything more about it so I put it out of my mind and went back to being a full time mum. On Thursday of this week mum was reading the local paper, and spotted a job ad for my solicitor's office. She told me to call her, but given the ad only gave her postal address and email, I ended up emailing one of the secretaries and asked to be considered for the job. Well less than 12 hours after I sent the email I got a call asking to come in on Tuesday next week. I don't know if this means I've got the job and she wants to discuss starting times etc, or she just wants to do a formal interview in the interest of fairness to all candidates, but just quietly I am soiling my pants at the thought of either prospect.
Not that I'm scared of job interviews, I've had my fair share over the past 11 years, and although not every one of them ever resulted in a job, I have learned over the years how to cruise through them. No, my real fear is that I actually have the job. Now I know that I can do the job, and if I stick around long enough I'll actually be sent off for proper training, but I don't know what going to work will do to me and Miss K. Anyone who has been here for a while will know that I am a big advocate for stay at home mums. However I have known since the beginning that the time would come where I have to return for work. Sadly for me the time has come sooner than I had hoped, as money is nothing more than a rumor around here these days, and with Miss K needing specialist appointments for her eyes, plus therapy for her speech and motor skills, we are struggling to keep our heads above water at the moment.
When I was younger, I had always dreamed of finding the perfect job where I jumped out of bed every morning looking forward to spending the next 8 hours at work. Sadly after 11 years of working (and not working) I am more realistic about what to expect from a job, and know that there is no such thing as the perfect job. I will never look forward to working, and even though there will be good days and bad days, the purpose of work is really for money, and not any kind of personal fulfillment. The work here will be hard, and I will earn every single dollar that I make, but my solicitor takes good care of her staff, and because of her incredible work ethic and knowledge she is never short of clients. (That and divorce is too easy these days.)
But what about my other job? The one that I'll have till the day I die. Miss K is the reason I'm applying for this job, and she will be what most of the money will be spent on, but what is my absence going to do to her? The shortest answer is I don't know, and I won't know until it happens. I know I'll miss so much while at work, and it is part of the trade off for being financially secure, but it just feels so cold to dump her on someone else while I go and play with the big people all day. I am lucky to have a wonderful family who have agreed to help me with taking care of her while I'm at work, so hopefully we won't have to put her in daycare at this stage. That is a small form of relief, because at least I know that while I'm not around she'll still be surrounded by everyone else that she loves and trusts, and she'll get the best care possible. But it also brings up the concern that we are being a burden on my family. Of course they'd tell me I'm being stupid right now, but I can't help but feel this way.
But all of this is just speculation for now, because like I said I still don't know if I have this job. Right now a more pressing concern is the fact that I've been out of work for 3 years now, so my corporate wardrobe is non-existent. So if you'll excuse me I'm off to raid every wardrobe in my family for something to wear. Wish me luck and I'll be back again soon.
That's right, a job interview. I thought I'd just sneak that one in and see if you guys noticed. Once upon a time, (or in 2007 if my old resume is anything to go by) I used to work for a local solicitor as one of her secretaries. The work was fast paced and pretty challenging for someone who hadn't done anything like dictation or writing up legal documents before, but the thing that made me quit was all the horrible stories I heard while working there. There's nothing like listening to everyone's divorce and custody stories to put you in a bad mood every single day. So I quit the job after 6 months and moved to Melbourne to work in yet another call centre. (I can't remember exactly how many call centre's I've worked in, but needless to say it's a lot.) Well fast forward 5 years to when I'm going through my own custody battle, and the only solicitor I wanted to represent me was my former boss. Given I had insider's knowledge to how she works, I knew that she was my best bet for ensuring that Miss K's needs were the main consideration in any custody agreements.
Well we never ended up going to court or even writing up any custody agreements, and Miss K's dad and I ended up sorting everything out on our own, but I did learn from my solicitor that a job would be coming up in her office soon. She told me the job was mine if I wanted to come back, and to my surprise I said yes. Well this was over 7 months ago, and I never heard anything more about it so I put it out of my mind and went back to being a full time mum. On Thursday of this week mum was reading the local paper, and spotted a job ad for my solicitor's office. She told me to call her, but given the ad only gave her postal address and email, I ended up emailing one of the secretaries and asked to be considered for the job. Well less than 12 hours after I sent the email I got a call asking to come in on Tuesday next week. I don't know if this means I've got the job and she wants to discuss starting times etc, or she just wants to do a formal interview in the interest of fairness to all candidates, but just quietly I am soiling my pants at the thought of either prospect.
Not that I'm scared of job interviews, I've had my fair share over the past 11 years, and although not every one of them ever resulted in a job, I have learned over the years how to cruise through them. No, my real fear is that I actually have the job. Now I know that I can do the job, and if I stick around long enough I'll actually be sent off for proper training, but I don't know what going to work will do to me and Miss K. Anyone who has been here for a while will know that I am a big advocate for stay at home mums. However I have known since the beginning that the time would come where I have to return for work. Sadly for me the time has come sooner than I had hoped, as money is nothing more than a rumor around here these days, and with Miss K needing specialist appointments for her eyes, plus therapy for her speech and motor skills, we are struggling to keep our heads above water at the moment.
When I was younger, I had always dreamed of finding the perfect job where I jumped out of bed every morning looking forward to spending the next 8 hours at work. Sadly after 11 years of working (and not working) I am more realistic about what to expect from a job, and know that there is no such thing as the perfect job. I will never look forward to working, and even though there will be good days and bad days, the purpose of work is really for money, and not any kind of personal fulfillment. The work here will be hard, and I will earn every single dollar that I make, but my solicitor takes good care of her staff, and because of her incredible work ethic and knowledge she is never short of clients. (That and divorce is too easy these days.)
But what about my other job? The one that I'll have till the day I die. Miss K is the reason I'm applying for this job, and she will be what most of the money will be spent on, but what is my absence going to do to her? The shortest answer is I don't know, and I won't know until it happens. I know I'll miss so much while at work, and it is part of the trade off for being financially secure, but it just feels so cold to dump her on someone else while I go and play with the big people all day. I am lucky to have a wonderful family who have agreed to help me with taking care of her while I'm at work, so hopefully we won't have to put her in daycare at this stage. That is a small form of relief, because at least I know that while I'm not around she'll still be surrounded by everyone else that she loves and trusts, and she'll get the best care possible. But it also brings up the concern that we are being a burden on my family. Of course they'd tell me I'm being stupid right now, but I can't help but feel this way.
But all of this is just speculation for now, because like I said I still don't know if I have this job. Right now a more pressing concern is the fact that I've been out of work for 3 years now, so my corporate wardrobe is non-existent. So if you'll excuse me I'm off to raid every wardrobe in my family for something to wear. Wish me luck and I'll be back again soon.
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
I'm assuming this is still inappropriate wear for a job interview yes?
Tuesday, 17 July 2012
Let stay at home mums stay at home
So yesterday I was reading one of the pull out sections of the weekend newspaper, when I stumbled upon an article by a woman called Wendy Tuohy banging on about the differences between men and women. Don't worry, today's post is not a battle of the sexes one, as that has been done to death everywhere else, and I don't really have anything original to say about it. Now Wendy's article was based on a list some man somewhere had written about the worst and best things about being a guy. She had decided to counteract this by writing the best and worst things about being a woman. However given some of the things on her list, I'm not entirely sure she is an expert on what she was saying.
Towards the end of the article, she said that one of the best things about being a woman was the fact that women could leave work to go off and have a baby, and everyone would be completely understanding if she didn't want to go back to work, and wanted instead to stay home and be a mum. Well the last time I checked, no one is OK with this any more except the mums themselves. The government certainly doesn't want anyone to stay at home and raise their families, they want all of us to be out being productive and making money for them. They have even gone as far as refusing to pay you to be a parent once your child is in school because then you're out of excuses. There is no reason for you to stay at home any more because the school system is now raising your child, so off you go, get a job and start doing something useful.
The only people wanting mums to stay at home and take care of their children are the mums themselves, and even then not all the mums are content with this. Some of them are quite happy to pay professionals to play with their children while they go off and have adult time at work. Now I'm not passing judgement on mums who work. In a couple of years I will have to be a mum that works, but this is not my choice. If I could choose, I would be at home all day waiting for Miss K to come home from school. And it is not because I have an obsession with daytime television either. (especially since all the daytime television I watch these days is aimed at children.) It is because I feel that as Miss K's parent, my job is to take care of her and run her home. I have already discovered as a childless bachelorette that I am terrible at balancing work and running a household. Once upon a time when I was a full time professional person my house was always messy and dishes were done as I needed a new plate and cutlery. Add the extra mess that a child brings to a household and pretty soon you'd be seeing me on an episode of hoarders or how clean is your house.
Given that I am a single parent, and the sole provider of income for my family, I have no choice but to go out to work as soon as I can, in order to make sure that Miss K and I have a comfortable life. I have had to accept this and I'm even taking steps to make myself more employable once that inevitable day comes. But I really resent the fact that my current job isn't appreciated by anyone other than Miss K. Of course you could rationalise that she really is the only person who needs to appreciate it as she is the only one who is affected by it, but given that she isn't the one that determines whether I get paid or not, her appreciation really doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things. It is because of people forcing mothers to go back to work that we are raising a generation of privileged brats who respect nobody but themselves. And I'm not saying that working mothers are bad parents here, I'm saying that children of working parents are being raised by child care centres who aren't allowed to use the word no, and aren't allowed to discipline a child when they need to be brought into line. Have we all forgotten that these are the people who are going to be choosing our nursing homes? I don't know about you but I'm very afraid.
The real issue that comes with returning to work after a 5 year "vacation" as you raised your child is that the skills you once valued as a worker are probably all a distant memory. Once upon a time I was able to juggle several conversations at once, stare down an entire basket of typing without flinching and manage a to do list as long as my arm. These days I struggle to have one conversation at a time, I wince every time I see another basket of laundry and my to do list stretches to next year, with very little progress ever. Of course being a mum means you can become creative when redoing your resume, as for the past few years you have been an entertainer, chef, personal assistant, nurse, negotiator and maid, but I know very few bosses who really care that you are able to sneak vegetables into your meals on a regular basis, or that you can diffuse a potential temper tantrum in five seconds flat. And very few colleagues appreciate it when you offer to kiss their boo boos better.
Luckily for me I still have a good couple of years left before I have to worry about returning to the adult world, and I'm determined to make the most of it. But I do wish that more recognition was given to the working soldiers whose battlefields are the kitchen sink and kids bedrooms. You may not think so but they work just as hard as you do, and sometimes even harder.
Towards the end of the article, she said that one of the best things about being a woman was the fact that women could leave work to go off and have a baby, and everyone would be completely understanding if she didn't want to go back to work, and wanted instead to stay home and be a mum. Well the last time I checked, no one is OK with this any more except the mums themselves. The government certainly doesn't want anyone to stay at home and raise their families, they want all of us to be out being productive and making money for them. They have even gone as far as refusing to pay you to be a parent once your child is in school because then you're out of excuses. There is no reason for you to stay at home any more because the school system is now raising your child, so off you go, get a job and start doing something useful.
The only people wanting mums to stay at home and take care of their children are the mums themselves, and even then not all the mums are content with this. Some of them are quite happy to pay professionals to play with their children while they go off and have adult time at work. Now I'm not passing judgement on mums who work. In a couple of years I will have to be a mum that works, but this is not my choice. If I could choose, I would be at home all day waiting for Miss K to come home from school. And it is not because I have an obsession with daytime television either. (especially since all the daytime television I watch these days is aimed at children.) It is because I feel that as Miss K's parent, my job is to take care of her and run her home. I have already discovered as a childless bachelorette that I am terrible at balancing work and running a household. Once upon a time when I was a full time professional person my house was always messy and dishes were done as I needed a new plate and cutlery. Add the extra mess that a child brings to a household and pretty soon you'd be seeing me on an episode of hoarders or how clean is your house.
Given that I am a single parent, and the sole provider of income for my family, I have no choice but to go out to work as soon as I can, in order to make sure that Miss K and I have a comfortable life. I have had to accept this and I'm even taking steps to make myself more employable once that inevitable day comes. But I really resent the fact that my current job isn't appreciated by anyone other than Miss K. Of course you could rationalise that she really is the only person who needs to appreciate it as she is the only one who is affected by it, but given that she isn't the one that determines whether I get paid or not, her appreciation really doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things. It is because of people forcing mothers to go back to work that we are raising a generation of privileged brats who respect nobody but themselves. And I'm not saying that working mothers are bad parents here, I'm saying that children of working parents are being raised by child care centres who aren't allowed to use the word no, and aren't allowed to discipline a child when they need to be brought into line. Have we all forgotten that these are the people who are going to be choosing our nursing homes? I don't know about you but I'm very afraid.
The real issue that comes with returning to work after a 5 year "vacation" as you raised your child is that the skills you once valued as a worker are probably all a distant memory. Once upon a time I was able to juggle several conversations at once, stare down an entire basket of typing without flinching and manage a to do list as long as my arm. These days I struggle to have one conversation at a time, I wince every time I see another basket of laundry and my to do list stretches to next year, with very little progress ever. Of course being a mum means you can become creative when redoing your resume, as for the past few years you have been an entertainer, chef, personal assistant, nurse, negotiator and maid, but I know very few bosses who really care that you are able to sneak vegetables into your meals on a regular basis, or that you can diffuse a potential temper tantrum in five seconds flat. And very few colleagues appreciate it when you offer to kiss their boo boos better.
Luckily for me I still have a good couple of years left before I have to worry about returning to the adult world, and I'm determined to make the most of it. But I do wish that more recognition was given to the working soldiers whose battlefields are the kitchen sink and kids bedrooms. You may not think so but they work just as hard as you do, and sometimes even harder.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
