Welcome again to another monthly episode of Fly on the Wall. For any of you who are unfamiliar with the premise, what happens is every month a group of bloggers joins forces to share all the crazy and weird things you'd see and hear were you a fly on one of our walls.
Below is the list of bloggers who are participating this month, be sure to visit them all and see that I'm not the only mad one around here.
Upon seeing that Miss K had spilt an entire marble run game over the living room floor:
Mum: Look at that, now your balls are all over the floor.
Me: I'm debating whether or not to have a nap. That's really the only reason I shipped Miss K off to kindergarten, so I could have daytime sleeps.
My brother in law Jason shaved off his signature goatee this month, which for some reason always causes a lot of discussion in our family. This time he didn't even warn anyone before he did it, so the first we all knew about it was when he came home one day after work with a naked face. This was the conversation...
Sam: What did you do?
Jason: I just felt like a change.
Sam: World's greatest shave?
Me: No, world's weakest chin.
Eliza: At least he makes up for it in nose size
Mum and I were making up a shopping list...
Mum: And Malteasers, in case I feel like them.
Me: Did you say Malteasers to pay for the funeral?
Kim was struggling to open a high chair at work one day. Her boss walked up and rescued the chair from her wrenching, and got it opened in two seconds, Kim decided to walk off in a huff, and yelled behind her to the laughing boss "Shut up, I never graduated high school OK?" Her boss then yelled back "You have a diploma in child care."
Miss K and I were sitting on her bed chatting one night, when I stood up she patted my backside.
Miss K: You have a big bum mum.
Me: I know honey, I ate too much sugar when I was younger. But if someone has a big bum, trust me when I say they know they have a big bum, so you should never point it out to them.
Miss K: But you do have a big bum right?
So glad she learns so much from me.
Miss K and I were at my friend Frankie's for dinner one night when two of his friends stopped in for a visit. The husband and Frankie went outside to look at his car, and I stayed inside chatting with the wife, who is originally from Texas. We were having a lovely discussion about her home town when Miss K decided we were being boring and wanted some attention. So she starts stroking the lady's face and declares "You're really old." I was mortified because this lovely lady is only ten years older than me, and hasn't aged too badly at all, but luckily she took it well and laughed. I think I need to have a discussion with Miss K about appropriate declarations to make to strangers.
Miss K: Mum, I'll be me, and you be Nonna.
Me: What? Why?
Miss K: Nonna, I'm hungry.
Me: Right. And what would Nonna say right now?
Miss K: Here, have some food.
So two days before I was meant to post this, Miss K took a tumble while running around the house (if I've told her once, I've told her a million times not to run in the house) and she ended up with a concussion. It wouldn't have been such a big deal except I was already babysitting my niece and nephew that day, so I had to rally the whole family to help me organise school pick ups, getting Miss K and I to the doctors so they could check her out, and look after a baby. In between scheduling medications and ducking streams of vomit I may have gone slightly more insane, but at the end of the day Miss K was over the worst of it, and everything else that had to be done that day got done. It's times like this I'm so grateful I have such a big and caring family, who all pitched in to keep us going. Miss K is back to her smiling, bubbly self now, and seems to be suffering from no ill effects after trying to scramble her brain. In fact her biggest annoyance about the whole day was that she had to miss kindergarten because of it.
Well that's all from me this month, I'm off to remind Miss K "gently" that she's not meant to be doing pirouettes in the living room again. Apparently she'll never learn.
I come for the coffee, I stay for the padded walls and straight jackets
Showing posts with label Baby sitting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby sitting. Show all posts
Saturday, 19 March 2016
Monday, 20 April 2015
Why I love my electronic babysitters
I'm having one of those months. You know the kind, your four year old decides this would be a perfect time to regress back to the age of 2, your boss feels that the 200 clients she manages on her own simply aren't enough, and it's up to you to figure out how to juggle the bulging diary of an overworked boss, your backside breaks yet another chair, same old thing really. But as any mum will tell you, sometimes when life keeps handing you lemon after lemon, you need a few things to save your sanity. For the housewives of the 1950's it was bottles of alcohol hidden in laundry baskets, but for me it's electronic babysitters.
These days it's a cardinal sin to admit that you allow your children free range of any electronic entertainment that their little heart desires. To the point that I actually resisted buying my daughter a children's tablet for a year, simply because I didn't want the other mothers at the store to judge me. But I'm here to tell those Judgy Mcjudgersons that they're missing the bigger picture by insisting that their children entertain themselves rather than plonking them in front of a TV screen so you can retire to your happy place for an hour or so. (or in my case go to the toilet without an audience). So today I am here as an advocate for every television that remains switched off during the day, and video console which gathers dust on weekends while children argue in their bedrooms over who can do the louder armpit farts. So below is a list of exactly why I love my electronic babysitters.
1. It's the only time children sit still
I'll get the obvious out of the way first. You turn on the television, and your children instantly become mute zombies. They also desire that you become a mute zombie, because every time you speak over the television they miss yet another glorious few seconds of Hulk and the agents of S.M.A.S.H (and let me tell you, the dialogue in some of these shows is pure gold.) When you have a child who only operates on two speeds, super fast and at the speed of light, then you will do anything you can to make them have an occasional rest, short of tying them down. The TV is the perfect solution to this problem. It also puts a stop to the million questions children ask you over the course of a day. Suddenly they don't want to know why you're calling the guy letting his dog take a dump on your nature strip horrible names, because they've got more pressing things to worry about, like how is Batman going to save the day yet again when he has no real powers. You can also rest safe in the knowledge that they won't take the choice phrases you yell through your curtains to school or kindergarten the next day because when the TV goes on, they hear nothing else. It is truly magic.
2. They learn things you don't have the energy or patience to teach them
Thanks to the wonders of children's television Miss K is gaining a wealth of knowledge I have no ability to teach her. Waybuloo is teaching her yoga (or yogo as they call it, which is confusing around here, because that's a brand of chocolate yogurt), something which will benefit me greatly when I decide to enroll in a mummy and me yoga class one day, and my daughter can do the downward facing dog while the other children are sitting on the floor sucking on their thumbs. Thanks to the psychedelic shows like Teletubbies and Baby Jake she's learning the dangers of doing psychotropic drugs like LSD (because you cannot tell me all of the people involved in those shows weren't tripping balls the whole time they were making that crap.) The access to the child safe videos on Miss K's Leap Pad have educated her to the awesome wonders of screaming goats, and excellent physical activities such as parkour. I will admit however that after watching some of those videos I had to rescue her from the top of a mattress that was stacked on its side against a wall in our spare room, as she decided one viewing of these videos was enough to make her a parkour expert. (Either that or her cousin's obsession with Spiderman is really starting to rub off on her.)
3. You can subject your children to countless hours of lectures without losing your voice
This one actually bugged me at first until I realised I could use it to my advantage. Every children's show these days has an important take home message, whether it be the uplifting always be yourself, even if you are a barely evolved caveman, or the more surreal never impersonate a multi-millionaire CEO of a large corporation, as you'll end up in a wacky series of hi-jinx that will be next to impossible to explain to your parents, and may end up with you losing your computer privileges for a week. These days I take special note of all of the messages that come with Miss K's favourite shows, simply so that when she inevitably breaks one of the cardinal rules set out by her beloved TV, I can just sit back and say "Well you should have done what Elmo told you, and you wouldn't have ended up nearly cracking your own backside on the pavement." It hits home quicker than the hour long lectures I used to have to give just to drive a point home, and it comes with pretty colours and spontaneous singing, which is something I haven't attempted since my last night spent drinking butterscotch schnapps.
So people, please go easy on the electronic babysitters, they are more valuable than you realise. I think there are some of you who owe your televisions an apology, and maybe a little hug. Go ahead, I won't judge.
These days it's a cardinal sin to admit that you allow your children free range of any electronic entertainment that their little heart desires. To the point that I actually resisted buying my daughter a children's tablet for a year, simply because I didn't want the other mothers at the store to judge me. But I'm here to tell those Judgy Mcjudgersons that they're missing the bigger picture by insisting that their children entertain themselves rather than plonking them in front of a TV screen so you can retire to your happy place for an hour or so. (or in my case go to the toilet without an audience). So today I am here as an advocate for every television that remains switched off during the day, and video console which gathers dust on weekends while children argue in their bedrooms over who can do the louder armpit farts. So below is a list of exactly why I love my electronic babysitters.
1. It's the only time children sit still
I'll get the obvious out of the way first. You turn on the television, and your children instantly become mute zombies. They also desire that you become a mute zombie, because every time you speak over the television they miss yet another glorious few seconds of Hulk and the agents of S.M.A.S.H (and let me tell you, the dialogue in some of these shows is pure gold.) When you have a child who only operates on two speeds, super fast and at the speed of light, then you will do anything you can to make them have an occasional rest, short of tying them down. The TV is the perfect solution to this problem. It also puts a stop to the million questions children ask you over the course of a day. Suddenly they don't want to know why you're calling the guy letting his dog take a dump on your nature strip horrible names, because they've got more pressing things to worry about, like how is Batman going to save the day yet again when he has no real powers. You can also rest safe in the knowledge that they won't take the choice phrases you yell through your curtains to school or kindergarten the next day because when the TV goes on, they hear nothing else. It is truly magic.
2. They learn things you don't have the energy or patience to teach them
Thanks to the wonders of children's television Miss K is gaining a wealth of knowledge I have no ability to teach her. Waybuloo is teaching her yoga (or yogo as they call it, which is confusing around here, because that's a brand of chocolate yogurt), something which will benefit me greatly when I decide to enroll in a mummy and me yoga class one day, and my daughter can do the downward facing dog while the other children are sitting on the floor sucking on their thumbs. Thanks to the psychedelic shows like Teletubbies and Baby Jake she's learning the dangers of doing psychotropic drugs like LSD (because you cannot tell me all of the people involved in those shows weren't tripping balls the whole time they were making that crap.) The access to the child safe videos on Miss K's Leap Pad have educated her to the awesome wonders of screaming goats, and excellent physical activities such as parkour. I will admit however that after watching some of those videos I had to rescue her from the top of a mattress that was stacked on its side against a wall in our spare room, as she decided one viewing of these videos was enough to make her a parkour expert. (Either that or her cousin's obsession with Spiderman is really starting to rub off on her.)
3. You can subject your children to countless hours of lectures without losing your voice
This one actually bugged me at first until I realised I could use it to my advantage. Every children's show these days has an important take home message, whether it be the uplifting always be yourself, even if you are a barely evolved caveman, or the more surreal never impersonate a multi-millionaire CEO of a large corporation, as you'll end up in a wacky series of hi-jinx that will be next to impossible to explain to your parents, and may end up with you losing your computer privileges for a week. These days I take special note of all of the messages that come with Miss K's favourite shows, simply so that when she inevitably breaks one of the cardinal rules set out by her beloved TV, I can just sit back and say "Well you should have done what Elmo told you, and you wouldn't have ended up nearly cracking your own backside on the pavement." It hits home quicker than the hour long lectures I used to have to give just to drive a point home, and it comes with pretty colours and spontaneous singing, which is something I haven't attempted since my last night spent drinking butterscotch schnapps.
So people, please go easy on the electronic babysitters, they are more valuable than you realise. I think there are some of you who owe your televisions an apology, and maybe a little hug. Go ahead, I won't judge.
Monday, 8 July 2013
The weekend from hell
If I ever wrote any kind of a diary (which I can never do for more than a few days at a time) this is what it would have looked like after this weekend.
Thursday 4th July 2013 6:00pm
Well today we are in Melbourne. I have been summoned up by Miss K's nonna to meet her cousin who is arriving from Italy tomorrow morning. I have been told it will be my job to keep her company tomorrow morning while Nonna is at work. Now given I don't really speak much Italian, and she doesn't speak much English this will be an interesting babysitting job. The trip up here was made easier by the fact that mum was with us on the train, she will be visiting my uncle while I'm in little Italy and we all travel together home on Saturday. I will be interested to find out if Miss K's dad has actually told nonna how short our trip is this time, he tends to forget the little details like that. After a discussion with him last week where he complained that I don't step back enough and let him take care of Miss K, I have agreed that he can bear the brunt of the parenting duties this weekend while I step back and observe from a distance. This will be interesting. I have been pleasantly surprised by the people of Melbourne today, and their willingness to help a lady with a pram get off and on public transport. I was assisted by no less than three strangers today while making the long and complicated journey from the city to the suburb where "la famiglia" live. It gives me hope that common courtesy isn't lost.
Thursday 4th July 2013 11:00pm
Well I am meant to be getting some sleep right now but it is proving impossible. It took 2 hours and a long car trip to finally get Miss K to sleep at 9pm tonight, but the sleep only lasted 2 hours and she is awake again. Nonna has offered to take her off my hands so I can get my rest, as she isn't going to bed any time soon, I think I'll take her up on the offer and try to catch some sleep.
Friday 5th July 3:00am
Just woke up to hear Miss K's screams from the garage which means two things. 1. She is still awake, 2. she is throwing the mother of all temper tantrums which means she is over tired and over indulged. Went into the garage to find her playing with her father, nonna is nowhere to be seen having gone to bed an hour ago. Miss K's dad said she wanted to go outside and when I asked why he hadn't returned her to bed he told me she didn't want to go to sleep. I drag a screaming Miss K back inside and get her to sleep in five minutes. When will these people learn that what a 2 year old wants and what a 2 year old needs are usually two different things, and you always go with the latter? I don't mind spoiling a child and letting her bend the rules occasionally, but this is ridiculous.
Friday 5th July 7:30am
We were just woken up by a troupe of people walking through the door. The cousin has arrived and there is a whole heap of people standing in the kitchen talking over the top of one another as if they are all well rested and not encumbered with a 2 year old who always gets her own way. I envy them. Go outside to have a cigarette and complain on Facebook that I have no idea what is going on around me given my lack of understanding of the Italian language. It is very hard to be polite to these people when I am so damn exhausted right now. I still have my pyjamas on and bed hair. And to make matters worse Miss K broke my glasses again. I need coffee and lots of it.
Friday 5th July 9:00am
Am sitting in the kitchen with two people, neither of which can speak very much English. Of course one of them is 2 years old and very cute so she gets away with it. I have resorted to downloading a translation app on my phone so that I can string more than two words together for the cousin, and we are attempting a conversation. It is not easy for either of us, but I've managed to find out a little bit about her and she seems very interesting. I still do not understand why nonna tasked me with the job of keeping her company, especially since her son can actually understand Italian, even though he doesn't speak it. I have learned two new words so far, Scimmia, which means monkey, and pazzo, which means crazy. This will help me greatly in conversation because I know lots about crazy monkeys.
Friday 5th July 4:00pm
The house is full of people again. More friends wanting to meet the cousin have arrived. I tried to get a sleep in today but it wasn't successful. Miss K's father on the other hand has been in bed since he got home at 7 this morning. So much for taking care of his daughter. Apparently nonna's nose was put out of joint by the comment I passed on Facebook this morning. Or perhaps it was Tristan's suggestion that I call them all Stronzos which means asshole. While both funny and interesting it hasn't proved to be helpful in the least. I stupidly opened my mouth and offered to visit for Christmas this year, and they are already making plans so I guess I'm stuck with being away from my family for the best family day of the year this year. When will I learn to keep my fat mouth shut?
Friday 5th July 8:00pm
The house is finally empty again, Miss K was asleep at a reasonable hour (it only took ten minutes of fighting and three rounds of there was an old lady who swallowed a fly tonight) and I am alone to enjoy my headache. My glasses were well and truly broken this morning which means I am blind until next Thursday when I can finally make time in my schedule to visit the optometrist. I'm overdue anyway but the headaches aren't fun. Miss K's father did forget to mention we were leaving tomorrow (I knew he would) but I have informed nonna that tonight was our last night and she has very kindly offered to drive us as close to the city as she can tomorrow morning. Need to check train timetables and organise to meet mum and my uncles at the station. Tomorrow is my cousin's engagement party and I do not want to miss this for the world. Our family parties are legendary. I have decided to spend the evening hiding in the front room on our blow up mattress and read the hunger games for the millionth time tonight. I can't listen to another word of Italian for now.
Saturday 6th July 7:00am
Miss K and I have been awake for an hour. We've had breakfast and watched a whole episode of High 5 and still no one else is awake. I've packed our bags and cleared the house of all of our belongings, now I just need someone else to wake up so I can finally turn on the coffee machine and get the caffeine pumping into my system again. Why is it that the only time I want people up early in this house is the one day they decide to have a sleep in?
Saturday 6th July 10:30am
I have just missed my train back home again. I am so frustrated right now. Nonna finally woke up at 8:00 and I informed her I needed to be out of the house by 9:30 at the latest. 9:45 we finally left the house and she spent the next hour arguing with her son about the best route to the train station. I had been told the trip would take 25 minutes at the most. And of course it's all my fault because I didn't tell her I needed to be gone until an hour and a half before the fact. This of course ignores the fact that I couldn't tell her any earlier because she was locked in her bedroom. What's worse is that mum has my train ticket as I brought all the tickets at the same time and handed them to her for safe keeping. I now need to wait 20 minutes for the next train into the city and another hour after that for the next train back home and back to sanity. I'm also going to miss most of the engagement party because it starts at 1, and I won't get home till 2, then I need to get both Miss K and I dressed, (we tend to travel comfortable.) so who knows what time I'll get there. I kept telling nonna that it was fine and I'll just catch a later train but I'm so angry right now I could spit.
Saturday 6th July 7:00pm
Well that was one hell of a weekend. Miss K and I are finally home from the engagement party (we were an hour and a half late so we missed lunch but we made it for the speeches.) I didn't have much time to chat to my cousin which was a shame because I don't see him all that much but I did get to catch up with some family members which usually only happens at Christmas and birthdays so that was good. Miss K and I made our excuses at about 4:30 because we were both drained and ended up zoning out in front of the telly and the computer until her bed time. She didn't even want dinner tonight so she got sent to bed full of paracetamol (for her lovely cold) half an hour early. There was a new comment on my Facebook status when I got home from nonna, calling all the people who had commented on my post "stronzos" which means she has just insulted my family. So I'm done. No Christmas, no weekend visits once a month, no more being nice period. She wants to see a stronzo, she's got it. Mum has just walked in with a 6 pack of rum and cola so I think it's time I drowned my sorrows and forgot this whole hellish weekend even happened. Thank goodness for work on Monday.
Thursday 4th July 2013 6:00pm
Well today we are in Melbourne. I have been summoned up by Miss K's nonna to meet her cousin who is arriving from Italy tomorrow morning. I have been told it will be my job to keep her company tomorrow morning while Nonna is at work. Now given I don't really speak much Italian, and she doesn't speak much English this will be an interesting babysitting job. The trip up here was made easier by the fact that mum was with us on the train, she will be visiting my uncle while I'm in little Italy and we all travel together home on Saturday. I will be interested to find out if Miss K's dad has actually told nonna how short our trip is this time, he tends to forget the little details like that. After a discussion with him last week where he complained that I don't step back enough and let him take care of Miss K, I have agreed that he can bear the brunt of the parenting duties this weekend while I step back and observe from a distance. This will be interesting. I have been pleasantly surprised by the people of Melbourne today, and their willingness to help a lady with a pram get off and on public transport. I was assisted by no less than three strangers today while making the long and complicated journey from the city to the suburb where "la famiglia" live. It gives me hope that common courtesy isn't lost.
Thursday 4th July 2013 11:00pm
Well I am meant to be getting some sleep right now but it is proving impossible. It took 2 hours and a long car trip to finally get Miss K to sleep at 9pm tonight, but the sleep only lasted 2 hours and she is awake again. Nonna has offered to take her off my hands so I can get my rest, as she isn't going to bed any time soon, I think I'll take her up on the offer and try to catch some sleep.
Friday 5th July 3:00am
Just woke up to hear Miss K's screams from the garage which means two things. 1. She is still awake, 2. she is throwing the mother of all temper tantrums which means she is over tired and over indulged. Went into the garage to find her playing with her father, nonna is nowhere to be seen having gone to bed an hour ago. Miss K's dad said she wanted to go outside and when I asked why he hadn't returned her to bed he told me she didn't want to go to sleep. I drag a screaming Miss K back inside and get her to sleep in five minutes. When will these people learn that what a 2 year old wants and what a 2 year old needs are usually two different things, and you always go with the latter? I don't mind spoiling a child and letting her bend the rules occasionally, but this is ridiculous.
Friday 5th July 7:30am
We were just woken up by a troupe of people walking through the door. The cousin has arrived and there is a whole heap of people standing in the kitchen talking over the top of one another as if they are all well rested and not encumbered with a 2 year old who always gets her own way. I envy them. Go outside to have a cigarette and complain on Facebook that I have no idea what is going on around me given my lack of understanding of the Italian language. It is very hard to be polite to these people when I am so damn exhausted right now. I still have my pyjamas on and bed hair. And to make matters worse Miss K broke my glasses again. I need coffee and lots of it.
Friday 5th July 9:00am
Am sitting in the kitchen with two people, neither of which can speak very much English. Of course one of them is 2 years old and very cute so she gets away with it. I have resorted to downloading a translation app on my phone so that I can string more than two words together for the cousin, and we are attempting a conversation. It is not easy for either of us, but I've managed to find out a little bit about her and she seems very interesting. I still do not understand why nonna tasked me with the job of keeping her company, especially since her son can actually understand Italian, even though he doesn't speak it. I have learned two new words so far, Scimmia, which means monkey, and pazzo, which means crazy. This will help me greatly in conversation because I know lots about crazy monkeys.
Friday 5th July 4:00pm
The house is full of people again. More friends wanting to meet the cousin have arrived. I tried to get a sleep in today but it wasn't successful. Miss K's father on the other hand has been in bed since he got home at 7 this morning. So much for taking care of his daughter. Apparently nonna's nose was put out of joint by the comment I passed on Facebook this morning. Or perhaps it was Tristan's suggestion that I call them all Stronzos which means asshole. While both funny and interesting it hasn't proved to be helpful in the least. I stupidly opened my mouth and offered to visit for Christmas this year, and they are already making plans so I guess I'm stuck with being away from my family for the best family day of the year this year. When will I learn to keep my fat mouth shut?
Friday 5th July 8:00pm
The house is finally empty again, Miss K was asleep at a reasonable hour (it only took ten minutes of fighting and three rounds of there was an old lady who swallowed a fly tonight) and I am alone to enjoy my headache. My glasses were well and truly broken this morning which means I am blind until next Thursday when I can finally make time in my schedule to visit the optometrist. I'm overdue anyway but the headaches aren't fun. Miss K's father did forget to mention we were leaving tomorrow (I knew he would) but I have informed nonna that tonight was our last night and she has very kindly offered to drive us as close to the city as she can tomorrow morning. Need to check train timetables and organise to meet mum and my uncles at the station. Tomorrow is my cousin's engagement party and I do not want to miss this for the world. Our family parties are legendary. I have decided to spend the evening hiding in the front room on our blow up mattress and read the hunger games for the millionth time tonight. I can't listen to another word of Italian for now.
Saturday 6th July 7:00am
Miss K and I have been awake for an hour. We've had breakfast and watched a whole episode of High 5 and still no one else is awake. I've packed our bags and cleared the house of all of our belongings, now I just need someone else to wake up so I can finally turn on the coffee machine and get the caffeine pumping into my system again. Why is it that the only time I want people up early in this house is the one day they decide to have a sleep in?
Saturday 6th July 10:30am
I have just missed my train back home again. I am so frustrated right now. Nonna finally woke up at 8:00 and I informed her I needed to be out of the house by 9:30 at the latest. 9:45 we finally left the house and she spent the next hour arguing with her son about the best route to the train station. I had been told the trip would take 25 minutes at the most. And of course it's all my fault because I didn't tell her I needed to be gone until an hour and a half before the fact. This of course ignores the fact that I couldn't tell her any earlier because she was locked in her bedroom. What's worse is that mum has my train ticket as I brought all the tickets at the same time and handed them to her for safe keeping. I now need to wait 20 minutes for the next train into the city and another hour after that for the next train back home and back to sanity. I'm also going to miss most of the engagement party because it starts at 1, and I won't get home till 2, then I need to get both Miss K and I dressed, (we tend to travel comfortable.) so who knows what time I'll get there. I kept telling nonna that it was fine and I'll just catch a later train but I'm so angry right now I could spit.
Saturday 6th July 7:00pm
Well that was one hell of a weekend. Miss K and I are finally home from the engagement party (we were an hour and a half late so we missed lunch but we made it for the speeches.) I didn't have much time to chat to my cousin which was a shame because I don't see him all that much but I did get to catch up with some family members which usually only happens at Christmas and birthdays so that was good. Miss K and I made our excuses at about 4:30 because we were both drained and ended up zoning out in front of the telly and the computer until her bed time. She didn't even want dinner tonight so she got sent to bed full of paracetamol (for her lovely cold) half an hour early. There was a new comment on my Facebook status when I got home from nonna, calling all the people who had commented on my post "stronzos" which means she has just insulted my family. So I'm done. No Christmas, no weekend visits once a month, no more being nice period. She wants to see a stronzo, she's got it. Mum has just walked in with a 6 pack of rum and cola so I think it's time I drowned my sorrows and forgot this whole hellish weekend even happened. Thank goodness for work on Monday.
image source www.freedigitalphotos.net
Pictured: me all weekend
Saturday, 29 June 2013
First week as a working mum
So I had a feeling it would be some time before I felt I had enough energy to come back to you guys, and I wasn't wrong. So first before I get to the point of today's post, a quick update on the little things that have happened this week.
Miss K got over her gastro after about five days. We only had spewing for three of those days, and yuck nappies for another day. She has now been clever enough to catch a cold on my first day off, so I've been dealing with snot these past three days, which while still gross is a lot easier on my sensitive gag reflex. Her dad has split up with his girlfriend and moved back to his mother's house in Melbourne, (no huge surprises there, I've been predicting this would happen for about 2 weeks now.) so we're back to square one when it comes to his visits. We missed speech therapy last week, because of her stomach bug, but we were back again this week and she is improving with such speed it is wonderful to watch. I now need to go out and buy her a few jigsaw puzzles, because she played with some at speech therapy and was so good at it, I feel it's something we need to bring into the house. Miss K is also adjusting brilliantly to spending so much time at her aunty's house, possibly because she has so much fun there. This week alone they went toy shopping, visited my nephew's kindergarten and went to a cafe for lunch. There have been no tantrums when I leave for work, no tears or clinging or anything negative at all. I get a wave and a kiss and she returns to playing. It has definitely made returning to work a lot easier that she is so OK with me not being around all the time. Also knowing that she is in the best place possible means I don't spend the day worrying if she is OK. Of course this week may be different given she is unwell, but I've already been reassured that a sticky green nose isn't a problem.
Now on to the point of today's post. I've been back at work for three days now, and when I thought about going back to work, I always thought the hardest part of the whole process would be leaving Miss K behind. It turns out that was the easiest part. I know I should be going easy on myself as I've been out of the workforce for three years now, but I suck at my job. It has been so long since I've been this bad at my work and it feels terrible. Once upon a time I used to put a lot of stock into the fact that I could learn new jobs fairly quickly, which made being a temp worker a breeze. In fact the first time I got this job it started as a temporary assignment when one of their secretaries up and quit very quickly, and I was so good at the job she asked me to stay on once the contract was finished. It was probably a huge risk for her, given I had next to zero experience working in a solicitor's office, but she gave me the chance and I was grateful for it.
Well she's taken another huge risk taking me back again, for several reasons. The first being the last time I worked there I unceremoniously quit after 6 months, staying only long enough to train a new secretary to take my place, and two I've spent the last three years ignoring the many things I've learnt while working over the past ten years in lieu of tea parties and dirty nappies. And I'm paying for it now. I don't remember where they keep all the legal documents, I can't remember the process for filing things with the court, I had forgotten the security pass for the front door and locked myself out the first day I was there, and I am so very, very slow at completing my work right now. When I left there the last time, I was able to get through a basket of dictation in a day. This week it took me three days to get through a basket. But on the plus side I started a second basket on Wednesday, and managed to get through almost half of it by the end of the day. So I guess you could say I'm getting better, but it's going to take quite some time to get back to my former quality of work. Luckily for me my boss is completely understanding of my position, and is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt when it comes to what I am able to do (or will be able to do eventually.) It just means that for now she checks absolutely everything I do before she allows it to leave the office, which I am totally fine with.
So we are back to playing the wait and see game. I now have to wait and see how long it takes to get good at this job again, I have to wait and see if Miss K is going to be as happy to be left at her favourite aunty's house for three days in a row this week, and I have to wait and see if my big sister finally comes to her senses and realises that my darling daughter is Dennis the Menace in disguise and decides to start pretending she's not at home whenever we come over first thing in the morning. But in the mean time I do have to say how very grateful I am that I have so many people around who are so happy to turn their lives upside down so that I can get what I want. Especially my big sister and her whole family, who have suddenly become cured of any last hints of cluckiness in the past week. There is not a bunch of flowers big enough to say how thankful I am for their help.
Miss K got over her gastro after about five days. We only had spewing for three of those days, and yuck nappies for another day. She has now been clever enough to catch a cold on my first day off, so I've been dealing with snot these past three days, which while still gross is a lot easier on my sensitive gag reflex. Her dad has split up with his girlfriend and moved back to his mother's house in Melbourne, (no huge surprises there, I've been predicting this would happen for about 2 weeks now.) so we're back to square one when it comes to his visits. We missed speech therapy last week, because of her stomach bug, but we were back again this week and she is improving with such speed it is wonderful to watch. I now need to go out and buy her a few jigsaw puzzles, because she played with some at speech therapy and was so good at it, I feel it's something we need to bring into the house. Miss K is also adjusting brilliantly to spending so much time at her aunty's house, possibly because she has so much fun there. This week alone they went toy shopping, visited my nephew's kindergarten and went to a cafe for lunch. There have been no tantrums when I leave for work, no tears or clinging or anything negative at all. I get a wave and a kiss and she returns to playing. It has definitely made returning to work a lot easier that she is so OK with me not being around all the time. Also knowing that she is in the best place possible means I don't spend the day worrying if she is OK. Of course this week may be different given she is unwell, but I've already been reassured that a sticky green nose isn't a problem.
Now on to the point of today's post. I've been back at work for three days now, and when I thought about going back to work, I always thought the hardest part of the whole process would be leaving Miss K behind. It turns out that was the easiest part. I know I should be going easy on myself as I've been out of the workforce for three years now, but I suck at my job. It has been so long since I've been this bad at my work and it feels terrible. Once upon a time I used to put a lot of stock into the fact that I could learn new jobs fairly quickly, which made being a temp worker a breeze. In fact the first time I got this job it started as a temporary assignment when one of their secretaries up and quit very quickly, and I was so good at the job she asked me to stay on once the contract was finished. It was probably a huge risk for her, given I had next to zero experience working in a solicitor's office, but she gave me the chance and I was grateful for it.
Well she's taken another huge risk taking me back again, for several reasons. The first being the last time I worked there I unceremoniously quit after 6 months, staying only long enough to train a new secretary to take my place, and two I've spent the last three years ignoring the many things I've learnt while working over the past ten years in lieu of tea parties and dirty nappies. And I'm paying for it now. I don't remember where they keep all the legal documents, I can't remember the process for filing things with the court, I had forgotten the security pass for the front door and locked myself out the first day I was there, and I am so very, very slow at completing my work right now. When I left there the last time, I was able to get through a basket of dictation in a day. This week it took me three days to get through a basket. But on the plus side I started a second basket on Wednesday, and managed to get through almost half of it by the end of the day. So I guess you could say I'm getting better, but it's going to take quite some time to get back to my former quality of work. Luckily for me my boss is completely understanding of my position, and is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt when it comes to what I am able to do (or will be able to do eventually.) It just means that for now she checks absolutely everything I do before she allows it to leave the office, which I am totally fine with.
So we are back to playing the wait and see game. I now have to wait and see how long it takes to get good at this job again, I have to wait and see if Miss K is going to be as happy to be left at her favourite aunty's house for three days in a row this week, and I have to wait and see if my big sister finally comes to her senses and realises that my darling daughter is Dennis the Menace in disguise and decides to start pretending she's not at home whenever we come over first thing in the morning. But in the mean time I do have to say how very grateful I am that I have so many people around who are so happy to turn their lives upside down so that I can get what I want. Especially my big sister and her whole family, who have suddenly become cured of any last hints of cluckiness in the past week. There is not a bunch of flowers big enough to say how thankful I am for their help.
photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
Would a field of flowers be enough? probably not.
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Dear diary the Kerplunk edition
So my soundtrack to today's diary entry is the chorus of groans and clacks of a game of Kerplunk currently being played on the coffee table by mum and the kids. One of the babies has gone home, but the last two are still here waiting for mum and dad to come back from Melbourne (hopefully with junk food).
This week certainly was more eventful than the last few weeks combined, we have had a zoo of children keeping us entertained, I got heaps of decorations completed for Miss K's new bedroom and I even got a hair cut during the week. This was actually a big deal for me because it's been over 12 months since I've had anything done to my hair so there was a lot of hair sitting on top of my head before this week. I had decided that it was getting too long and heavy, and I was getting tired of having to deal with it so I got my little sister to chop off 6 inches of hair. I now have shoulder length hair and I feel about 5 kilos lighter too. I also get out of the shower about five minutes faster these days as I don't have to shampoo and condition so much hair.
Miss K has been gorgeous as always, this week she has started copying words that she hears everyone else say, and as a result she can now say get up, ding dong and no. She also takes great delight in shouting my name at the top of her lungs first thing in the morning to try and get me to come pick her up out of her cot and feed her. Given that I hate mornings, I usually stall her by yelling back at her for as long as I can before she throws a tantrum and I'm forced to get out of bed. She has also discovered that everyone laughs if she blows raspberries whenever we say someone's name, so we spend lots of time just repeating everyone's name so she will razz at whoever we've mentioned. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that we're just as easily amused as the baby is.
I also managed to get my hands on two copies of Dr Seuss' ABC book thanks to eBay, so once I've received them in the mail I can finally get Miss K's bedroom decorated. I know I keep promising that I'll have photos posted, and I have managed so far to take photos of the new quilt, which really doesn't look like much on its own, but here is the fruits of three hours labour.
This week certainly was more eventful than the last few weeks combined, we have had a zoo of children keeping us entertained, I got heaps of decorations completed for Miss K's new bedroom and I even got a hair cut during the week. This was actually a big deal for me because it's been over 12 months since I've had anything done to my hair so there was a lot of hair sitting on top of my head before this week. I had decided that it was getting too long and heavy, and I was getting tired of having to deal with it so I got my little sister to chop off 6 inches of hair. I now have shoulder length hair and I feel about 5 kilos lighter too. I also get out of the shower about five minutes faster these days as I don't have to shampoo and condition so much hair.
Miss K has been gorgeous as always, this week she has started copying words that she hears everyone else say, and as a result she can now say get up, ding dong and no. She also takes great delight in shouting my name at the top of her lungs first thing in the morning to try and get me to come pick her up out of her cot and feed her. Given that I hate mornings, I usually stall her by yelling back at her for as long as I can before she throws a tantrum and I'm forced to get out of bed. She has also discovered that everyone laughs if she blows raspberries whenever we say someone's name, so we spend lots of time just repeating everyone's name so she will razz at whoever we've mentioned. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that we're just as easily amused as the baby is.
I also managed to get my hands on two copies of Dr Seuss' ABC book thanks to eBay, so once I've received them in the mail I can finally get Miss K's bedroom decorated. I know I keep promising that I'll have photos posted, and I have managed so far to take photos of the new quilt, which really doesn't look like much on its own, but here is the fruits of three hours labour.
Miss K's new quilt
My lovely niece was kind enough to be my model for this photo, and you can see her feet peeking out from the bottom of the doona. Unfortunately given that the blanket is almost as tall as her and quite heavy she couldn't hold it for very long so this is the best shot I could get.
Well that's another week summed up for you, Miss K is starting to cry for her dinner so for now I'm outta here, I'll see you next time.
Adventures in baby sitting, baking and sewing
I almost don't want to keep putting posts up here at the moment. You see last night's post was post number 69 for me, and given that that is my favourite number (for obvious reasons) I would love to leave it right there, just so that I can come back and giggle every time I see it. I never said that I was mature, in fact most people who know me would say that I'm the exact opposite.
So it has been an absolute circus at our house today, we had children in every corner of the house since mum and I seem to be the only people in the world who don't like doing things on weekends, we were the only ones who could be pinned down long enough to watch every child in our family. My big sister is very lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who has taken her to Melbourne for the weekend to celebrate her birthday, and my little brother and his wife were spending this weekend moving house, so to make sure their little girl was out of the way she came here and had a play date with all of her cousins. So a child in every corner may have been an over exaggeration, especially given there were only three extra kids in the house, but there were times when it sounded like we had a whole soccer team squashed into our lounge room.
Given that we had such a packed house today, I thought it would be a perfect time to prove that I could be domestic if I wanted to, by sewing a quilt cover for Miss K's new Dr Seuss bedroom, baking banana muffins for dessert, and making sure that Miss K's current bedroom was spotless when she went to bed. (This was no small task since she and her little cousin had spent a good half hour earlier in the day pulling every toy, book and piece of clothing out of it's home and throwing them on the ground.)
Out of all of these tasks, the one that proved the hardest was sewing a quilt cover. You wouldn't think that sewing a piece of fabric into a rectangle shape and attaching some snap buttons on would be so hard, but it actually ended up taking me about 3 hours to do all up. Of course I had lots of little helpers who were very curious as to what I was doing, and took great pleasure in walking and sitting all over the fabric while I was trying to measure and pin it. But the real problem was the fact that I have so very little sewing experience in my life, and I struggle to sew in a straight line. Add in tricky things like snap buttons and hems and I come completely undone. But I managed to get it finished in the end, and it is even big enough to put the quilt in, which is no small accomplishment for me given that I never have enough attention span to follow the old measure twice cut once rule.
So with all the really big jobs completed for Miss K's new bedroom, it won't be long before I will be able to put the whole thing together and watch her enjoy her new space. Of course I'll have photos up here very soon of the progress I've made so far. And given that I've managed to get everything done so far for about $50 I'm even considering going on eBay to buy some Dr Seuss books for the picture border, as I still can't find a second hand store around here that sells his books.
Well I'm off to bed now, as tomorrow is looking to be another busy day and I'll need my beauty hibernation if I'm going to be able to chase around a group of kids for another day. Stay awesome my wonderful readers and I'll be back again soon.
So it has been an absolute circus at our house today, we had children in every corner of the house since mum and I seem to be the only people in the world who don't like doing things on weekends, we were the only ones who could be pinned down long enough to watch every child in our family. My big sister is very lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who has taken her to Melbourne for the weekend to celebrate her birthday, and my little brother and his wife were spending this weekend moving house, so to make sure their little girl was out of the way she came here and had a play date with all of her cousins. So a child in every corner may have been an over exaggeration, especially given there were only three extra kids in the house, but there were times when it sounded like we had a whole soccer team squashed into our lounge room.
Given that we had such a packed house today, I thought it would be a perfect time to prove that I could be domestic if I wanted to, by sewing a quilt cover for Miss K's new Dr Seuss bedroom, baking banana muffins for dessert, and making sure that Miss K's current bedroom was spotless when she went to bed. (This was no small task since she and her little cousin had spent a good half hour earlier in the day pulling every toy, book and piece of clothing out of it's home and throwing them on the ground.)
Out of all of these tasks, the one that proved the hardest was sewing a quilt cover. You wouldn't think that sewing a piece of fabric into a rectangle shape and attaching some snap buttons on would be so hard, but it actually ended up taking me about 3 hours to do all up. Of course I had lots of little helpers who were very curious as to what I was doing, and took great pleasure in walking and sitting all over the fabric while I was trying to measure and pin it. But the real problem was the fact that I have so very little sewing experience in my life, and I struggle to sew in a straight line. Add in tricky things like snap buttons and hems and I come completely undone. But I managed to get it finished in the end, and it is even big enough to put the quilt in, which is no small accomplishment for me given that I never have enough attention span to follow the old measure twice cut once rule.
So with all the really big jobs completed for Miss K's new bedroom, it won't be long before I will be able to put the whole thing together and watch her enjoy her new space. Of course I'll have photos up here very soon of the progress I've made so far. And given that I've managed to get everything done so far for about $50 I'm even considering going on eBay to buy some Dr Seuss books for the picture border, as I still can't find a second hand store around here that sells his books.
Well I'm off to bed now, as tomorrow is looking to be another busy day and I'll need my beauty hibernation if I'm going to be able to chase around a group of kids for another day. Stay awesome my wonderful readers and I'll be back again soon.
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