That's right, today is my birthday. Another year has passed and I am one year closer to as my nephew calls it, being a skeleton in a box in the ground. Gotta love 4 year olds for telling it like it is. So apparently after midnight last night my odometer automatically clicked over to 28 years old. I don't feel 28, and according to everyone who asks me for ID before selling me cigarettes I don't look 28 either. I actually had one woman last week tell me that hopefully by the time I'm reaching 40 I might finally look like I'm in my 20's. I don't mind being told that I look young or being asked for ID because I know that the people are looking past my appearance and realise that I'm young at heart. They choose to ignore the wrinkles I have been growing since my 25th birthday and tell me in so many words that I act like a teenager. (I'm not lying about the wrinkles either, I found my very first wrinkle on my 25th birthday. How's that for your body telling you it hates you?)
They say that with age comes wisdom, but I'm still not entirely convinced of this because in all my years, the wisest thing I have been able to come up with is don't try to do a three point turn next to your house otherwise you'll end up driving through your lounge room window. You'll also probably end up with five stitches in your arm after you slice it open on the jagged glass hanging from your window frame. (True story.) But no one can deny they love the spoiling and attention that comes with a birthday. So far I have received 2 bunches of flowers, 2 boxes of chocolates and 2 cases of cupcakes to help celebrate my birthday. A lot of my Facebook friends have obeyed the instructions on their news feeds and popped over to my wall to wish me a happy birthday, and I have one very happy little girl who has spent most of her morning jacked up on sugar. I actually caught her stealing a Tim Tam from my coffee table while I was out of the room. By the time I came back it was almost all gone and there was little point in doing anything but cleaning up the mess she left behind.
So now there is nothing left for me to do but sit back and enjoy the rest of my day. And eat my weight in cupcakes. I should probably leave this post with something deeply reflective and moving to commemorate the occasion, but instead I'll tell a joke...
Q: How can you tell that you're getting old?
A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you
That's it, I'm outta here, try the chicken and don't forget to tip your waitress!
I come for the coffee, I stay for the padded walls and straight jackets
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