Saturday 29 June 2013

First week as a working mum

So I had a feeling it would be some time before I felt I had enough energy to come back to you guys, and I wasn't wrong. So first before I get to the point of today's post, a quick update on the little things that have happened this week.

Miss K got over her gastro after about five days. We only had spewing for three of those days, and yuck nappies for another day. She has now been clever enough to catch a cold on my first day off, so I've been dealing with snot these past three days, which while still gross is a lot easier on my sensitive gag reflex. Her dad has split up with his girlfriend and moved back to his mother's house in Melbourne, (no huge surprises there, I've been predicting this would happen for about 2 weeks now.) so we're back to square one when it comes to his visits. We missed speech therapy last week, because of her stomach bug, but we were back again this week and she is improving with such speed it is wonderful to watch. I now need to go out and buy her a few jigsaw puzzles, because she played with some at speech therapy and was so good at it, I feel it's something we need to bring into the house. Miss K is also adjusting brilliantly to spending so much time at her aunty's house, possibly because she has so much fun there. This week alone they went toy shopping, visited my nephew's kindergarten and went to a cafe for lunch. There have been no tantrums when I leave for work, no tears or clinging or anything negative at all. I get a wave and a kiss and she returns to playing. It has definitely made returning to work a lot easier that she is so OK with me not being around all the time. Also knowing that she is in the best place possible means I don't spend the day worrying if she is OK. Of course this week may be different given she is unwell, but I've already been reassured that a sticky green nose isn't a problem.

Now on to the point of today's post. I've been back at work for three days now, and when I thought about going back to work, I always thought the hardest part of the whole process would be leaving Miss K behind. It turns out that was the easiest part. I know I should be going easy on myself as I've been out of the workforce for three years now, but I suck at my job. It has been so long since I've been this bad at my work and it feels terrible. Once upon a time I used to put a lot of stock into the fact that I could learn new jobs fairly quickly, which made being a temp worker a breeze. In fact the first time I got this job it started as a temporary assignment when one of their secretaries up and quit very quickly, and I was so good at the job she asked me to stay on once the contract was finished. It was probably a huge risk for her, given I had next to zero experience working in a solicitor's office, but she gave me the chance and I was grateful for it.

Well she's taken another huge risk taking me back again, for several reasons. The first being the last time I worked there I unceremoniously quit after 6 months, staying only long enough to train a new secretary to take my place, and two I've spent the last three years ignoring the many things I've learnt while working over the past ten years in lieu of tea parties and dirty nappies. And I'm paying for it now. I don't remember where they keep all the legal documents, I can't remember the process for filing things with the court, I had forgotten the security pass for the front door and locked myself out the first day I was there, and I am so very, very slow at completing my work right now. When I left there the last time, I was able to get through a basket of dictation in a day. This week it took me three days to get through a basket. But on the plus side I started a second basket on Wednesday, and managed to get through almost half of it by the end of the day. So I guess you could say I'm getting better, but it's going to take quite some time to get back to my former quality of work. Luckily for me my boss is completely understanding of my position, and is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt when it comes to what I am able to do (or will be able to do eventually.) It just means that for now she checks absolutely everything I do before she allows it to leave the office, which I am totally fine with.

So we are back to playing the wait and see game. I now have to wait and see how long it takes to get good at this job again, I have to wait and see if Miss K is going to be as happy to be left at her favourite aunty's house for three days in a row this week, and I have to wait and see if my big sister finally comes to her senses and realises that my darling daughter is Dennis the Menace in disguise and decides to start pretending she's not at home whenever we come over first thing in the morning. But in the mean time I do have to say how very grateful I am that I have so many people around who are so happy to turn their lives upside down so that I can get what I want. Especially my big sister and her whole family, who have suddenly become cured of any last hints of cluckiness in the past week. There is not a bunch of flowers big enough to say how thankful I am for their help.

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
Would a field of flowers be enough? probably not.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time getting back into the flow at work, but as you'Ve already seen, it will come back fairly quickly. I've not been out running for over 6 years and just picked it up again. I'm no-where near where I was when I stopped. I know, I'm speaking about physical fitness and your problem is with your capabilities in your job, but in the end, it's not so much different. You will have to get back in the routine again and you'll be fine. Just give it a few weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything keeps going so well with the babysitting arrangement, that Miss K. keeps improving and that you will be happy with your performance at work again. It will come back quickly, believe me! Hugs to you!

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    1. Hey Stephanie, if we're talking running, I haven't run in about ten years, so I'd be even worse at that, and it would definitely take a lot longer to gain back than this will :) I can't wait to throw myself back into work this week, I am kind of anxious to learn back everything I've lost over the past five years.

      Thanks for stopping by, big hugs to you too.

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  2. Wow I completely feel your pain. I've been back at work for 6 months now and I don't have any family I can leave my daughter with, so it's child care for her. As a result she gets absolutely every virus going around and is sick probably 5 weeks in 6. And it is so hard to remotivate, or at least I found it so. Good luck - it sounds like you are a pretty determined person and you'll probably hit your stride soon.

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    1. Ah gotta love child care for bringing bugs into the house. I have two sisters who work in child care, and one brother in law who is a bus driver, so we get bombarded every winter from all sides. And I am definitely determined to master this job again. I think it's to prove it to myself as much as my boss that I can do it.

      Thanks for stopping by with your encouragement :D

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  3. Oh, singlemum....it does come back! And you will actually find that your ability to multitask and think "big picture" is much improved too! Breathe. Enjoy Miss K. And treat yourself to a mocha now & then. :) You're doing great!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Marianne. I'm surprised to be able to say just a week after I posted this that already it's getting easier. Monday will be a real test though, because they're letting me loose in the office unsupervised for the day so that will be interesting.

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