Hello everyone and welcome again to another episode of Spotlight on Mental Health.
Today's special guest is Jamie from Being Positive with a Depressive Soul. Her blog is an amazing insight into the life of someone currently suffering from depression, and even when she is having the worst day in the world, it is all shared with her audience so you can see what it takes to get through depression.
I am a 42 year old mother of a teenage girl, anxious with life, wild at heart, blogger and an Administrative Assistant, who loves finding freebies and deals. I also happen to suffer from major depressive disorder and choose to blog about my journey staying positive with major depressive disorder. My daughter also suffers from depression. I am me and this is my brief story.
I remember, I believe I was around 12 years old, feeling so alone, lonely, and sad. I was a very shy child, got my feelings hurt easily, and cried a lot. I always cared way too much and was very sensitive, I still am. As I got into my teen years, thanks to being introduced to alcohol, I was able to get over some of my shyness. Now, mind you, alcohol and I have not had the best relationship but that is a story for another time. I was young, naïve, had no self-confidence, and absolutely no experience with boys; Yet I fell in love for the first time. We had a short six month romance and then he broke my heart and at age 19 I had a nervous breakdown and I was diagnosed with depression. Little did I know that this would the beginning of a life long illness.
I have struggled with alcohol and drugs but didn't let them consume my soul. Anyone who has a mental illness and takes medications knows that they shouldn't drink. Well, I, many times, challenged that and lost each time. I have been in a toxic relationship with my daughter’s father now, on and off for 17 years. We currently live together but are not romantically involved. One change I wanted to make this year was to be able to move out on my own but due to financial difficulties that didn’t happen. There is always next year!
I used to be very pessimistic about things in life; a bad attitude to say the least. I have had never actually tried to commit suicide but I have wished many, many times I was dead Turning 40 turned out to be a pleasant experience. For the first time in my life, I made my mind up that I would not be depressed about turning 40; age is nothing but a number. Every milestone 25, 30, 35, would roll around and I would be so negative and dwell on all the things that I didn’t accomplish. There is something to say about getting older and gaining maturity. I decided to take my life into my own hands. I decided to take responsibility for myself and stop blaming others for my mistakes, my past, and my own happiness.
Blogging has been the best decision for me that I could ever make. I feel that I am finally free to be me and no longer have to hide who I am. I am a kind, loving, fun individual who deserves the best in life. So what if I suffer from major depressive disorder and will need medication for the rest of my life, there is more to me than that. I do feel lonely and sad a lot but I will take each day as it comes and I am hopeful of the future and believe that the best is yet to come. One positive step at a time!
So firstly I would like to thank Jamie for sharing her story with us. As her blog shows, her struggle is still a daily one, and sometimes while you're still in the middle of something it can be hard to write about. Luckily for all of us Jamie is always happy to talk about her past and her struggles. If you would like to show Jamie some of the love I know you awesome readers are capable of, please feel free to visit her website, or leave a comment below.
Well that's all for today, sadly I don't have a new story lined up for next week at this stage, so we may have to take a brief break from this series while I madly try to rustle up some more people willing to tell their stories here. If any of you my wonderful readers have a story and wouldn't mind sharing it here, please get in contact with me, I would love to feature you.
Until next time, stay awesome.