Sunday, 2 February 2014

News from the front line

This is Searching for Sanity reporting to you live from a war torn home in a tiny town in country Victoria. This once peaceful place has been ripped apart by conflict between two former allies. On one side you have the young (and very good looking) single mum, trying her darndest to provide a nice life for her and her people, and on the other side, you have a two year old dictator who is determined to overthrow the single mum's power and replace her as ruler of the house. The battles are frequent, loud, and full of tears.

Officials of the house say the worst time for skirmishes has been at bed time, and also when it's time to get out of the tub, but there have also been conflicts over the two year old not eating her vegetables, not sharing her toys, and of course playing too roughly with the kitten. The single mum is desperately trying to regain her footing as ultimate leader of the house, but admits that the two year old is certainly her toughest foe to date.

There have been several attempts by the single mum to extend an olive branch to the two year old, these have come in the form of delaying bed time by up to an hour, and also reading one more book before leaving the room, but the effects of these peacekeeping missions are always short lived and the two year old is soon back to her tyrannical ways. Other citizens of the house live in constant fear for their ear drums, and are always on high alert for yet another temper tantrum. Luckily these are a people who are not unfamiliar with the antics of two year olds, so evacuations of bystanders is always quick and there have been few fatalities to date.

Officials are warning visitors to avoid visiting the house unless absolutely necessary, to prevent the risk of death or injury to any innocent people, and if you know anyone who lives in the house, you should contact the house's embassy for further information about the current situation.

We will have more news as it breaks, but until then, this is war correspondent Searching for Sanity wishing you all good health.

Pictured: An artist's rendition of current events in the war torn house.

For anyone wondering, Miss K is going through a particularly defiant stage of the terrible twos, and tonight was a bad night. Instead of sitting here stewing in my own juices I decided I needed to lighten up my mood, and because this place feels like a war zone right now, this post just seemed appropriate. We'll all get through this I'm sure, and I know by tomorrow morning my sunny little girl will be lying in my bed waiting for me to get up so she can smother me with hugs, but poking fun at the situation will be enough to keep me sane for now. Stay awesome everyone.

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