Saturday, 24 October 2015

October Fly on the Wall

Hello again people, it's time again for this month's edition of Fly on the Wall, the post where I share all the crazy, funny things that happen in my house, that you would all see if you were flies on my wall, and let me tell you right now is a good time to be a fly on my wall, because Miss K is all of a sudden terrified of spiders, so we're having to kill every single money spider or daddy long legs on sight. You really don't appreciate how good a job these guys do until you have to eradicate every single one who dares to show their face to a screechy four year old.

Fly on the Wall
Before I jump into all of the fun I'll share the list of the rest of the bloggers participating this month. Today we have 14 brave bloggers all baring their crazies for your enjoyment, so be sure to visit them all.            Baking In A Tornado       Spatulas on Parade          Follow me home             Menopausal Mother               Never Ever Give Up Hope                          The Momisodes          Someone Else’s Genius Eileen’s Perpetually Busy                  Cluttered Genius            Southern Belle Charm                          Go Mama O                       Dinosaur Superhero Mommy            Nichole Mom of 8

I wanted to try a fishtail braid in Miss K's hair, after discovering that they are apparently stupidly easy to do. Of course anyone who says a fishtail braid is easy to do has never tried to do one on a squirmy four year old.

The look I was going for.

It took me half an hour to achieve something similar to the image above (sorry no pictures, Miss K had had enough of sitting down by the time we were finished.) and I was pretty proud of myself, even if I do say so. Miss K of course, not so impressed, told me that the final product was in fact not worth the amount of time she had to spend sitting still, and that she never wanted another fishtail braid put in her hair again. True to her word, every time I suggest giving her a fish tail, she politely declines and runs away. 

Me (to mum)
You're turning into a grumpy old man in your old age.

Sam: I know dad looks old, he looks really old. He looks like an 80 year old man 
Me: With the bones of an 80 year old woman to match. 
(My dad is actually in his 60's, he's just not aging well, plus he has osteoporosis AND arthritis, so he's a very frail man. He actually broke his ribs bending over the hood of a car once.)

Me: Miss K if you're going to pick your nose in the toilet could you please not wipe your boogers on the walls?
Miss K: No! 

Miss K's arachnophobia is actually beginning to impact on her everyday life. I have to go with her to the toilet every trip and inspect for spiders before she can go. Of course since I am such a sympathetic mother, I never do anything that could potentially scar her for life...

Miss K: There are no spiders in here?
Me: Nope, no spiders. Now all you need to worry about are the snakes in the toilet.
Miss K: Mum, no!

I sometimes feel bad that Miss K is an only child, so in order to show her what having a brother or sister would be like, I love to play a nice rousing game of "I'm not touching you" where I sit my finger as close to her eye as possible without touching her, then just keep repeating "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you." until she cracks it at me. It helps to pass the time.

I was trying to encourage Miss K one day for doing a good job, so I told her she was number one. She promptly responded with "No mum, I'm number four." At least she has low expectations of herself. 

We were having our fence replaced earlier this month, and I was having a much needed sleep in on the day. Miss K got out of bed and was stealing a lolly from the kitchen when mum came in. The following is the conversation they had.
Mum: Miss K, someone stole our fence! What are we going to do?
Miss K: Oh no! Don't worry, I'll go back to bed and eat my lolly and you go to the lounge room.

One night I was lying in bed dozing off when I could hear movement from Miss K's bedroom. I thought she was just shifting around in her sleep until I heard her call out for me. I jumped up and ran to her room terrified she'd wet the bed. Upon entry I found her standing next to her bed without any pants on, instead they were in a ball on the ground. She looked up at me and said "Mum, where are my pants?" I asked her why she took them off, and she looked at me like I was crazy. I then noticed the lounge room light was on, so I thought mum must be up. I went in to talk to her and the room was empty. I asked Miss K if she'd turned the light on, and again she looked at me like I was crazy. So either we have a playful ghost in our house who enjoys pantsing sleeping children, and wasting electricity, or my daughter has just discovered the joys of sleepwalking...

Miss K and I watched a video of a man getting arrested at a McDonalds in the next town over. I was telling my big sister Sam about it the next day when this happened.
Me: We saw a bad guy being arrested at McDonalds didn't we?
Miss K: Yeah, it was my dad...
It wasn't, and I'm not sure where she got that idea from, but she didn't seem entirely concerned by the fact either way.

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