May Fly on the Wall - Things that Kept me Smiling in Spite of Myself

Welcome again wonderful people to yet another in the Fly on the Wall series. Anyone who read my post last week about my bad news may be surprised to see me joining in this month, but right now laughter is the best medicine, and my friends and family made sure to keep me laughing all month long. I'm sure you all know the drill by now, but if you're a newbie I'll explain it anyway. Today a group of 9 bloggers have all gotten together to share all of the crazy that you'd see every day if you were a fly on their wall.



But before I get into the fun, allow me to introduce you to all the other bloggers joining in this month with the craziness, be sure to visit them all and keep the medicine flowing right to the end of the bottle.

Baking In A Tornado    http://www.bakinginatornado.com/2016/05/fly-on-wall-flirting-101.html

Juicebox Confession                    http://www.juiceboxconfession.com                           

Menopausal Mother                    http://www.menopausalmom.com/                         

Spatulas on Parade                     http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/                      

Searching for Sanity                    http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                       

Never Ever Give Up Hope             http://batteredhope.blogspot.com                        

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy       http://dinoheromommy.com/2016/05/20/fly-on-the-wall-may/

Southern Belle Charm                   http://www.southernbellecharm.com                       

My Brain on Kids                          http://mybrainonkids.net

Apparently this month Miss K had cows on the brain because we had a lot of discussions that ended up being about cows for some reason.

Me: Can you please stop eating like a little piggy and eat like a little lady?
Miss K: No, I'm not a little old lady.
Ady: Really? What are you then?
Miss K: I'm a piggy and a cow.

Miss K still has some speech issues, but I'm struggling to figure them all out, so one day while we were working on her sentences this came out.
Me: Can you say the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog?
Miss K: The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy cow!
Me: Not quite but close enough.

Me: Miss K did you just fart?
Miss K: No, it must have been the cow.
Me: But I don't see any cows in the room
Miss K: You're the cow mum.
I wasn't sure whether to be more offended that she was calling me a cow or blaming me for her farts. I'm still not sure.

Mum made Miss K a sandwich one day, and cut it into triangles.
Miss K: This sandwich tastes great granny, but it would taste even better if it was cut into squares.
Mum: I'm sorry, I thought you might like triangles for once.
Miss K: No, I only like squares.
Sadly mum did not learn her lesson and made her another sandwich cut into triangles the next day too. I have now taken over sandwich duties again for the sake of everyone's sanity.

During one of my visits to hospital earlier this month they gave me a script for a tablet that wasn't to be taken orally. I went to the in-hospital chemist to pick it up and saw they had a pharmacy intern running the front desk. He was run off his feet, so I just waited quietly till it was my turn and gave him my name. He ran off to get my tablets, but once he saw exactly what it was that had been dispensed he told me he needed to run away and let a female pharmacist explain them to me. It took all of my strength not to laugh at him and cluck as he literally ran away from the desk. I did feel sorry for the poor guy though.

This is why you shouldn't call me when I'm bored.
Me: (answering a call from Nat) Your mother is a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
Nat: I fart in your general direction
Me: Go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Nat: Most people just say hello.
Me: Hey at least I was speaking English this time.
For anyone who doesn't get that reference, check out this Monty Python and the Holy Grail video. All of my best ever insults have come from this scene.

Miss K was being a real pain in the rear one night at dinner. I didn't have the energy to fight her over every mouthful, so mum had been pulling her up, but it was getting exhausting.
Mum: Can I run away from home now?
Miss K: No!!
Mum: But why not?
Miss K: Because you're my best.
Luckily mum decided to stay after that. Flattery will get you everywhere in this world.

It seems that Miss K has inherited my hearing troubles.
Me: Miss K do you know what you're doing tomorrow?
Miss K: C is for cookies?
Me: Yes it is, but that's not what I asked.

Miss K: Mum does my forehead have a name?
Me: Yes it does, it's called your forehead.
Miss K: No, I have a fivehead.

While in Inverloch we watched Hairspray, which I've never seen before. This happened at the end of it.
Me: That's it, I've figured it out.
Sam: What?
Me: I was trying to figure out who John Travolta reminded me of in that movie.
Sam: And who does he remind you of?
Me: He reminds me of Ryan Stiles doing an impersonation of Carol Channing.

I want to take a quick second to thank everyone who has contacted me in whatever way over the past few weeks to share your condolences, your stories, and your love. I am truly touched to have such a wonderful big web of people standing behind me in the good times and the bad, and you are all awesome. Big love and hugs to each and every one of you.

Book Review - Catch that Cat

So it has been a long time since I have reviewed a product, but I was contacted with an offer I couldn't refuse a couple of weeks ago, so here we are again.

Now I preface this review by saying I love reading. I remember weekly trips to the library being a special occasion when I was a child, and I have passed that love of reading on to Miss K, as the two bookshelves that take up her bedroom wall will attest. Every night I MUST read her a story before she goes to bed, then she MUST take five books with her to bed. So when I was asked to review a new children's book by Australian author Melina Mallos I jumped at the chance. I was not disappointed.

When I agreed to review the book I was told it was an exploration of Greek culture as well as the rich history of the country, a subject I would have thought difficult to sell to children, but this book just showed how little I know about selling a subject to kids.

The story follows Elesa, a little girl whose cat Aphrodite has run away from home. Her and her Yiayia (grandmother for anyone who has never met a Greek person) must travel around the Greek island of Kythera, passing many historic locations as well as places of cultural importance while searching for their lost cat. Now because this is a children's book and not Marley & Me the cat does end up returning home, but not before you learn all about this beautiful island and it's amazing history.

The story was very easy to read, and more importantly it was easy for Miss K to understand. Before we started reading the book I explained how the story was set in a totally different country to Australia, and we looked at a map of Greece, and the island of Kythera which was included inside the front cover of the book. This part fascinated Miss K, and she spent ages pouring over the map, following the cat's footsteps around the island.

The books illustrations, drawn and painted by a talented Athenian Tety Solou were simply spectacular and only added to the total appeal of this book. Miss K and I spent ages staring at each page, simply trying to take in as much of every scene as we could. It took us about ten minutes to read the book the first time around, not because it was too wordy, but because we had to stop every page just to stare.

One of Miss K's favourite pages

After we finished the book the first time, Miss K insisted we go back to the beginning and read it again, discussing everything we noticed on each page as we went. I have never seen Miss K this excited about a book, which is saying something. She even insisted this book be read to her again that night at bedtime. To date I have had to read it to her another three times, and my sister has had to read it to her once. It is definitely a new favourite.

The beautiful thing about this book is that Melina's pride for her home country is evident in every page, so much so that you can't help but feel you are right there with Elesa and her Yiayia. Her reverence for the culture and historical significance Greece holds comes through strongly, and helps bring Greece into your home. It is excellent for teaching children about the world around them in a relatable and fun way.

My favourite page

So if you're looking for a new book to buy for a little one in your life, I definitely recommend Catch that Cat by Melina Mallos. You can find it for sale here.

No pets? Yeah right

I would like to announce that we have added a new member to our jungle home. Introducing Guinea Pigley...

Ta Daaa!!!

I saw one of my cousins posting on Facebook this morning that she had two male guinea pigs to give away, and although I have sworn black and blue since Miss K was born we wouldn't have any pets I couldn't resist this little cutie. Given that the price was also within my budget, we contacted her straight away and organised for him to be dropped off this afternoon as an early birthday present for Miss K. That is when I panicked. I don't know the first thing about caring for Guinea Pigs, I had nothing for it to live in, and I didn't even really know what they eat. Luckily for me my dad knows lots of things that I don't so I called him and begged for his help. He was at our house within an hour with a new home for Guinea Pigley, as well as some straw and pellets for him to eat. 

At the moment the hutch is sitting in our lounge room, but I can't see that lasting for long. For one thing Guinea Pigs use their homes as toilets, and I don't like the smell of digested food where I eat my dinner. For another thing I've already tripped over the hutch once this afternoon, when I was walking out of the room licking my lunch plate clean, so for the sake of my own neck he will have to be transported outside very soon.

But Miss K is super excited for her new toy. She went absolutely nuts when my cousin walked in carrying the guinea pig, and it took her the better part of an hour to calm down again. After her nap, she went straight over to the hutch and tried to get Guinea Pigley to talk to her, but in true guinea pig style, he is hiding in his bed.

Pictured: Miss K playing with her new pet. Not Pictured: the terrified pet

I'm sure this decision of mine will come back and bite me in the butt one day, especially given that at almost 2 years old, Miss K really is too young to understand the responsibility that comes with having a pet, so for the next few years at least, I have just added a smaller, hairier and less co-operative child to my ever growing list of responsibilities. But it was worth it just to see the look on her face when she met Guinea Pigley.

And if you're wondering about his name, it's a long standing joke with our family. When my niece was four she was given a dog, and she chose to name her Dogley. It is a name that caused much amusement when my sister when to register her for the first time, and a choice that no one in the family has let her live down, even five years later. So I figured it was only fitting to give this pet an equally ridiculous name. Especially given that Miss K's only suggestion for a name was garbletika, and I'm not even sure if that's how you spell it, I'm happy sticking with Guinea Pigley.