But the other beautiful thing about this blog is how it has connected me to the rest of the world. Sadly over the years I have isolated myself from a lot of the people who made up my life before Miss K was born. It's the same old story, they went their way, I went mine and these days we smile if we pass in the street or post the occasional comment on a Facebook status. Very few of them know that Miss K has a speech impediment, that I have dated various versions of my father over and over again, that I came dangerously close to becoming an alcoholic. But thanks to the wonderful world of blogging I have met so many wonderful and supportive people through their own blogs. Some of them read this blog, others always reply to my comments whenever I write on their posts, some answer my questions on the Bloggy Moms website. But even though we all come from different states or countries, with different tastes and opinions, we all have one huge thing in common. We all share our lives over the internet.
It may sound incredibly petty or like a sign of low self esteem, but I love to hear about the day to day problems of the people I follow. It is reassuring to know that I'm not the only one on this planet who has absolutely no idea what the hell I'm doing here. Thanks to writers like the Pintester and the lovely ladies over at Pinstrosity I know I am only one of hundreds of inept crafters in the world. Thanks to the beautiful and ever inspirational Corrie over at Retro Mummy I know that I can survive being a mother of one because this woman does the same thing with four more children than I will ever have. And thanks to women like Jamie over at Being positive with a depressive soul I know I am not the only one who some days looks in the mirror and wonders why the hell I even bother.
You see behind all of the jokes and the pretty pictures we all post day after day we are all still very human. What you see on these blogs is just a small snap shot of the world around us, carefully chosen by us so as to reveal enough about us so you get some idea of who you are spending your time reading, but not too much that you show up on our doorstep with a bouquet of flowers (or God forbid an axe.) There are days where the jokes I tell on here hide very real pain that I just cannot bear writing down, as if that would suddenly make everything real. And there are also days where I reveal something on this blog and then panic because I'm terrified I have just turned every single one of my readers against me with my honesty.
I guess there is something about writing these blogs that non bloggers possibly won't be able to understand. In between the words on these websites are tiny parts of ourselves, a fingerprint of our minds if you like. This blog is as real and precious to me as the memories I make with my little girl. And if anyone ever came here criticising my writing or my stories or even my life, I think it would hurt as much as if anyone told me my daughter was ugly. Luckily for me everyone who has ever contacted me has been nothing but supportive and helpful, but there is always the distinct possibility that someone somewhere is going to try to put you down. And the bigger your blog gets, the larger your audience and the higher the statistic that some of your readers aren't going to be afraid to call you mean names. Day after day I read blog posts from some of my favourite writers trying to defend their work, their website or their lifestyle, as if it needed justifying simply because they made it public.
So right now I make a pledge to refuse to justify my life to my audience. That doesn't mean it will stop the haters from hatin' but hopefully it will make my life a little bit easier to put up here. After all this blog would be nothing if it wasn't the truth.
Ok so that's enough serous stuff for now. Just to lighten the mood I will now show you a picture of a meal I made for my little sister one day just to make her smile.
Yep, it's a happy ham steak plate. A cock-eyed happy ham steak. Why is everything I make cock-eyed?
And finally, I should say thank you. Thank you to my family for not shouting at me every time I put them in my writing, thank you to all of the lovely bloggers who have reached out to me over the past year, and thank you to my wonderful audience. Even though most of you are waaay too quiet for my liking, I know that you are out there and it is because of you that I come back every single day to humiliate myself just that little bit more. Isn't that what friends are for??